Kendall
Kendall's up first. Kendall's from LA. Kendall first takes Arie to her taxidermy collection, which is in some sort of storage area. Arie comments that they look so real. I guess he's not aware that they are REAL animals? They're not alive, but they were at one point. Arie's a little freaked out. It is quite a collection. But Kendall isn't just showing off her collection, they're going to be mounting/creating/whatever some new stuff. Arie's face is pretty priceless. I was right with the term--it's mounting. They're going to mount rants. This is super creepy. They are stuffing rats. Once mounted they make a diorama of sorts. There's a cat that's hanging out that isn't phased by any of this.
Arie's going to be meeting Kendall's parents, her identical twin and her brother. Kendall warns Arie that her sister will be tough. But it will be okay because the sister will pick up on the energy between the two of them. If Arie is the most compassionate guy she's ever dated, then she's dated borderline sociopaths because "compassionate" has never been one of the words that comes to mind when I think of Arie. Beady eyes...yes. Compassionate? Not so much.
Arie tells Kendall he's falling in love with her but she hasn't reciprocated these words. It's unclear what else they do during the day because all of a sudden it's evening and they're approaching Kendall's house. Kendall's mom Michelle thinks Kendall looks happy but she's still concerned. Kendall and her mom go off to talk. Michelle has crazy eyes and goes on about open hearts blah blah blah.
Next we find Arie talking to Kendall's twin and true to what Kendall says, she starts talking about energy. The twin's concerned about the space she saw between the two of them. My guess it's because there are three other women, but what do I know? Arie's not very interested in this conversation and gets a little defensive. The twin asks Arie if the plan is to propose at the end and he says yes but he's not sure where Kendall's head is at. The twin says she doesn't know because while they're twins, Kendall's her own person. Overall, Arie seems disappointed by the conversation. Perhaps he's wondering why the twin is wearing a kimono over regular clothes.
Next up Kendall and her twin chat. Essentially she doesn't think Arie's good enough for Kendall. Twin tells Kendall that Kendall should be concerned about her reaction to Arie telling her he was falling for her and the Twin doesn't see this as "undeniable love," Ah yes, the undeniable love.
Next up is Kendall's dad and he gets right to the point to assess Arie's intentions. As many dads have said before, her dad says he's not going to give his permission for Kendall to marry Arie. They're obviously hippies, so I'm a little surprised that he considers his daughters as property. If I were Arie, I'd ask about the dowry, just to gauge the reaction. But unfortunately that's not Arie's sense of humor. However, then the dad says if this is what Kendall wants, then he'd support her. So there you go.
Back at twin talk, Kendall admits that she isn't ready for a proposal. I have no doubt she will change her mind at the end of this. What room are they sitting in and what are in the bowls? It's clear that Kylie (I finally caught her name) is the dominant and bossy twin.
As Arie and Kendall say their goodbyes, Kendall says she could see herself falling for Arie. Wow, way to put yourself out there, Kendall. Kendall chooses making out over sharing emotions. This is a red flag. Arie seems ambivalent and their ending seems lukewarm.
Tia's Hometown
Tia comes from a
Tia's dad is going to judge Arie by his handshake, as he should. The aunt and the cousin are a little standoffish. They have pigs in a blanket and I suspect Budweiser? But at last they're drinking the Bud from glasses. The brother pulls Arie aside first and Arie seems nervous. For reasons he doesn't go into, the brother says he wasn't always there for Tia but now he is. He's concerned about Arie's "playboy" rep. I'm not sure if "playboy" or "I hear you like the ladies" would have been worse. Arie looks petrified that this guy is going to kick his ass. Arie's looking around to make sure that there are witnesses. Arie--I'm pretty sure the camera guy would come to your rescue eventually.
Arie stammers out some answer and it turns out the brother is all talk and really likes Arie. Translation: he's hoping Arie can introduce him to some women.
When Tia's talking to her dad, he also asks her about Arie being a ladies man. I think he asks Arie too, but in reading this post back before I posted, this part was a little fuzzy. Anyway, Arie seems more relaxed with her dad. Arie assures the dad that IF he picked Tia, he'd be good to her and asks her dad if he'd give permission, again, IF he picks her. The dad waits about half a second before saying he trusts Tia's judgment. When do we meet the really tough dads? The dad threatens to find Arie on Google and Arie laughs nervously.
Tia's mom seems the most concerned, but not that concerned. Overall, it's a cake walk. As they head out, Tia tells Arie she's in love with him and he says he wishes he could say more.
Becca's Hometown
Arie visits Becca in Minnesota. They go apple picking but it looks like they're pretty near the end of the apple season. Arie is confident that Becca is wife and mom material. Becca's dad died when she was 19, so obviously he won't be there. But her mom and Uncle Gary (he's a pastor!) will be there. Arie asks Becca for advice on how to handle Uncle Gary.
As the family waits for Becca and Arie, it looks like Uncle Gary's already in rare form. Who are the rest of these people? I think Uncle Gary thinks this is HIS show. Oh Unkie Gary...
This family is great. Becca's mom asks him how this experience is different from when he was on the Bachelorette and he gives her some BS answer and how it's so beautiful and the rest of the family visibly give each other funny looks. Uncle Gary looks like he's about to explode.
Becca gives a lame toast and Arie might already be drunk. Gary follows up with another toast to Steve, which apparently was the name of Becca's dad. Again, Gary, WTF? Gary pulls aside Arie for a talkin' to. Arie should not be scared of this guy. Gary talks about what a great guy Steve was. Because he was kind? A family man? No, because he was a good hunter and carved ducks out of wood. Gary makes sure Arie knows that Pastor Gary did Steve's funeral. And despite the ugliness, the family is still together. He sternly asks Arie if Becca's the real deal for Arie and he says yes (of course) and that seems to appease ol' Gary.
Meanwhile, Becca's talking to her mom. Mom was super skeptical when Becca started this ridiculous show and likes Arie enough but won't give her blessing. Perhaps one of them should tell Arie and Gare that it's mom's call, not Uncle Gary's call on this whole, "who makes the call on whether Becca can marry" topic. Becca's disappointed that her mom's not into this whole "let's get engaged after six weeks" thing.
Back to Uncle Gary and his hard hitting questions, he next asks Arie if he thinks Becca's in love with him? He answers that he thinks so? Followed up quickly by, "what if Becca wants to go to church, what do you do?" Arie thinks quickly on his feet and says, "I'll go with her...". Gary seems appeased by this answer. Did you know Gary's a pastor?
Thankfully we switch back to the real conversation between Becca and her mom, who continues to not be impressed but you and I both know she's going to come around. Becca plays the "when you met dad" card and how she feels the same way. Mom says she'd miss Becca if she ended up with Arie because she would likely not live in Minnesota anymore because obviously the man makes such decisions and Arie's probably not leaving Arizona. Not for Minnesota, at least. Mom assures Becca that she wants the best for Becca and that she loves her. Perhaps Mom knows that she probably shouldn't protest too much because then she'll drive Becca away even more. Remember, Mom, this is Arie's decision and I think he's going to pick Lauren, so don't get too worried.
After the grilling from Pastor Gary, it's time for Arie to talk to Becca's mom. Arie says she can ask him as many hard questions as she wants and comes out with a softball--when you think of good relationships, why do you think it works?" Oh Mom. Is this a Minnesota thing? She doesn't want to seem rude? If Arie were to answer, "she has to be beautiful and the sex has to be amazing", he'd go up so many spots in my book. But of course he doesn't. He says his parents come to mind (snore) and that they choose each other every day. LAME. Many men have affairs for years but won't leave their wives. Arguably they choose their wives every day by not leaving their wives for the mistress. Wow, Rachele, that was a weird analogy. Don't read too much into that folks. I swear. Let's go back to Arie and Mom, shall we?
Mom eats up this lame answer but asks if he thinks Becca is ready for this commitment. Because, again, Becca's the woman, so of course she can't make these decisions for herself. This whole episode makes me want to see a crazy family like Dean's. It turns out that Arie is smart enough to ask Mom for her blessing. Mom, to her credit, says that Becca is her own person so it's not up to Mom to give the blessing but goes with the standard, "I trust my daughter and if she chooses you, as long as she's happy, I'm fine." Arie is super phony back. The mom thanks Arie for putting up with Uncle Gary and the two of them have an awkward hand squeeze. Blissfully we're three down and one to go. Arie's thrilled at how things went. Becca's swooning.
Lauren's Hometown
This better be as good as they're making it out to be in the coming attractions. Lauren's dad drops an f-bomb and Mom is not very enthusiastic either. Let's find out. Lauren's from Virginia Beach and Arie feels the two of them are in a really good place since they've been on two dates in two weeks. He seems to gush a lot around Lauren. He genuinely seems more animated around her than the others. She seems nice enough but not terribly interesting. They go horseback riding on the beach and make out.
Lauren gives Arie the heads up that this family meet and greet may not go well. Arie seems very nervous. As they walk into Lauren's brick mansion, Arie immediately feels that the vibe in the room is tense. They don't introduce anyone so it's unclear who these people are. There are definitely some awkward silences but they eventually head to the dinner table. The dad asks if Arie's ever known any military families. Nope. Does Arie play golf? Nope. Mom asks what makes Lauren different from the other women? Some don't ask this in front of everyone, but this family is obviously more forward. Arie's answer: "
When we come back, Lauren's speaking to her aunt, who is surprised that Lauren likes Arie so much. Apparently she didn't think Arie would like Lauren that much either. Thanks, Auntie! Lauren asks Aunt No Name if she'd give her blessing and Auntie gives the standard, "I trust your judgment" response.
Finally, Arie and Lauren's dad have some alone time. Arie walks outside first and I'm pretty sure the dad wishes the stairs were a little longer so he could push Arie down them. Sadly, though, it wouldn't have done much damage and they sit down for their man-to-man chat. Arie nervously asks if it's normally this warm this time of year (as they sit by a fire). He then kicks things off into high gear by thanking the dad for his service. Unfortunately, Dad doesn't visibly roll his eyes.
Arie tells a story of flying some plane and the dad seems super skeptical but then is wildly impressed that Arie went over with some other drivers to Iraq to hang out with soldiers. Seriously, Dad? And Dad says he trusts Lauren blah blah blah and Arie's surprised that went so well and I'm disappointed that the producers led us on yet again. Maybe Mom won't pussy out.
Next up is Arie and Mom. Arie tells his mom some BS that when he's having a bad day (because, don't forget, being the Bachelor is stressful), he just looks at Lauren and sees what a babe she is and it cheers him up. Thankfully, his mom doesn't buy this. She asks him about the other women and he gives some other BS and she says "so, you're not compartmentalizing?" and he responds, "Oh, no, I am." Mom continues to be annoyed. She sits there in silence and Arie starts to get nervous and asks Mom if she's scared. Her response should have been, "No, I'm not scared, I can't believe my daughter's on this ridiculous show. And you have very beady eyes and everyone knows you can't trust people with beady eyes." Mom's not buying anything Arie's putting down. He's excited to see where his relationship with Lauren goes, but there are only three weeks left tops. Probably more like two. So you have two weeks left. But he says it's far in the future(?) and since they won't see each other before the finale, does Mom give her blessing? Thankfully Mom remains stone faced and says, all together now, she trusts Lauren's judgment. SO....NO. They shake hands and it's hard to tell if Arie has a fish handshake or Mom, but let's blame Arie, shall we?
Finally Mom and Lauren chat. Lauren tries to tell her mom she's falling in love. Mom's skeptical through all of Lauren's lust-blind ramblings but eventually softens enough to tell her daughter she loves her and it's nice to see her happy, even if she's not sure how long it will last.
Overall, Lauren thinks the night went amazingly well.
Rose Ceremony
It's Rose Ceremony and Chris welcomes the women with a phony smile. Becca's the first one to arrive and says she's finally in love with Arie. Then Kendall, then Tia. They all proclaim their love and talk about their deep connections with Arie. Lauren claims they have the best connection of all.
Arie emerges from the car looking unhappy. Arie sees his life working with any of these women. I'm sure the winner will be psyched to hear that when she watches this. Perhaps he'll take a page out of Jordan's book and flip a coin? Or roll dice since he still has four women. Arie tells Chris how difficult the whole thing is and Chris barely pretends to be interested. Chris seems disgusted that Arie has no idea who he's going to pick and says, "good luck!" as Arie confronts the women.
Arie gives his speech. Becca appears to be the only one with any semblance of empathy on her face. The rest look at him stone faced. Arie: I don't think they care how difficult this decision is for you. Arie walks out. The women look exasperated. If Krystal were here, she'd run after him.
Arie dramatically walks back in and apologizes. He again reiterates how difficult this decision is and asks to talk to Kendall. He sure does like to pull her aside. The rest of the women close ranks and whisper about what's going on. I agree with Tia that out of the four of them, Kendall makes the least sense. I said last week that I think Kendall would be the one getting eliminated this week, but the last time Arie took Kendall off-camera, she came back and got the rose on the two-on-one with Krystal.
Arie's still in his timeout with Kendall and is asking her if she could get engaged at the end of this. She says she doesn't want this to end and he says that wasn't his question. He wants to know if he asks her to marry him in front of America, will she say yes? Arie reminds her that if she stays, he's going to have to say goodbye to someone that IS willing to be married. What a db.
Kendall, to her credit, won't commit to saying she'll be ready to getting engaged. Back inside, Tia's the only one talking and Lauren and Becca are ignoring her. Kendall and Arie come back in and Tia and Becca clam up. They start over.
The first rose goes to Becca and then Lauren, no surprise there. It's down to Tia and Kendall. I think after all of that drama it's going to Kendall. And...it's Kendall. Tia is seeing red. She's obviously stunned but seems to give genuine hugs goodbye to the other women. She walks up to Arie and starts crying. It's hard to watch the ugly crying. She's not an ugly crier, her eyes aren't puffy, none of her makeup is running, but it's real "can't catch your breath" sobbing. She asks Arie for an explanation and he has no explanation, which pisses her off as she starts to transition to angry crying. He has no explanation, there's just something missing. I vote for Tia for Bachelorette and then she can be in control.
So Tia has a DPT, and I thought she had a PhD. A DPT is fine, it's just not what I expected her to have. I researched this while Tia was going on and on about putting herself out there and getting screwed yadda yadda yadda.
Next week there's two back-to-back episodes. Women Tell All is Sunday I'm going to protect my heart from this being a great episode because Chris never really gets the answers we want out of the cast. Then on Monday it's down to the final three. Somebody is left sobbing in her room while Arie walks out. Who will it beeeee????
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