Friday, July 20, 2018

Becca's Season: Episode 8

This is always one of my favorite weeks--Hometowns week! I love to see the family dynamics and odd posturing. What families are loaded?  What families are super weird?  Let's begin, shall we?

Garrett's Hometown
First we head to Manteca, CA to meet Garrett's family.  Is Garrett's family a bunch of gun-toting homophobes? Let's find out.  Garrett begins by taking Becca on a tractor to do some work. Way to woo her, Garrett.  They talk about putting their future kids to work on the tractor.  Garrett would have been a good match for Chris Soules.  Next they plant a rosebush.  In Garrett's defense, if you can't tell, Manteca is pretty much in the middle of nowhere. There isn't much out in Central California. But dude, meet her somewhere else. I'm not entirely sure where, but be creative.

Garrett and Becca talk again about his abusive ex.  He tells Becca that if his family doesn't like her they'll tell him, even though they were too afraid to say anything about his ex.

As they head to the house, we get the usual BS from the family about how they're going to grill her. I sincerely hope they do.  Garrett and Becca finally walk in and his family is very excited to see him.  His grandparents look a little out of place but the family is super tight-knit.  He announces he's falling in love during his toast and eyebrows are definitely raised.  His big sister quickly pulls him away. He gushes about Becca and his sister is not convinced. She starts crying and is protective of him because she doesn't want him to get abused again.

The cameras transition to Becca talking with Garrett's dad.  They really portray Garrett's ex to be a monster.  What I find a little odd about this whole thing is that Garrett has never claimed any responsibility for the part he played in the demise of the marriage. I'm not saying he deserved the  abuse, but I think portraying the ex as the sole reason for the divorce is an oversimplification. His dad says he's worried about Garrett getting his heart broken again blah blah blah.  His mom pulls Becca aside next.  Mom brings up the divorce again and the night that he moved out of his house.  They make it seem like Garrett was in a deep depression.  Becca says all of the right things to mom and wins her over.

Mom pulls aside Garrett on how he's going to feel if Becca doesn't pick her and he assures her he'll survive.  Mom is appeased. She just wants him to be happy.  She's cool either way. Garrett inherited his goofball tendencies from his dad.  He thinks it was an amazing day. Becca feels good about the day too.  She wants to marry into a nice family, not a family of jerks.  How odd. Because I wish I'd married into a family of jerks.

Jason's Hometown
Next we head to Buffalo.  It's freezing because isn't Buffalo always freezing?  Compared to Manteca, Buffalo feels very urban.  Jason takes her to a bar famous for its wings.  They are in a buffalo wings eating contest.  It's...odd.  Next he takes her ice skating. He may or may not have rented out the rink for the afternoon.  He calls her a hockey mom.  A cool hockey mom, but sheesh.  He's a good hockey player, which is hot.  It's too bad his hair is so greasy.  Jason's brother is gay.  It's nice to see a dude not freaked out by this (unlike another guy whose name rhymes with "parrot").  They make out on top of the Zamboni.

Jason and Becca head to his house.  It's a totally normal house. What's unclear to me is whether this is a normal house with Newton pricing or Upton pricing.  Haven't heard of Upton?  Enough said. His brother, who's older, looks about 12.  This is one of the most normal and least tense interactions we've seen in awhile.  Jason's dad pulls him aside and talks about how happy Jason looks but of course he doesn't want Jason to get hurt.  I can't believe Jason and his hair are growing on me, but he is.

Jason's mom pulls Becca aside and it's a perfectly lovely albeit somewhat phony conversation.  Jason's mom is very put together.  Perhaps a bit Botoxed?  She asks Becca if she's found her guy yet and Becca says there's still a long way to go but she's hopeful.  B--you don't have that  much further to go.  You have two weeks. I think this is called "avoiding the question".

Anyway, mom talks to Jason next and says she couldn't get any scoop on whether he's going to win. Jason seems disappointed but then dismisses her and says what they have is real.  Mom is definitely not convinced.

Next Jason talks to his brother and his husband.  His brother gushes and Jason gushes.  His brother asks Jason if he's told Becca his feelings and if he hasn't, he needs to do it already.  When they leave, Jason basically gives Becca the exact same speech he'd said to his brother.  She swoons.

Blake's Hometown
Becca needs to find guys that live in warmer places.  She heads to Colorado where it's snowing. Granted, it's Colorado, so it will be beautiful again soon.  Becca has admitted she's in love with Blake too, which she hasn't said about anyone else. It's hard to tell if this means that Blake has this in the bag or if this is merely editing.  Or will Blake get cold feet and bail? More importantly, what is Blake's mom like?  Does she still have to wear her scarlet A?

Blake kicks things off by taking her to his old high school.  RUN AWAY.  If you're in your 20s and taking your potential wife to your high school, that's weird. Especially when you consider that his mom hooked up with his English teacher, I wouldn't think high school would have the best memories. As it turns out, Blake is in his school's hall of fame and he definitely looks better now than he did in high school, so at least he has that going for him. Apparently his mom worked at the high school, which provides a peek at how his mom ended up hooking up with his basketball coach.  The Track and Field coach and Football coaches are hanging out. There is no sign of the Basketball Coach.  Apparently Blake has more secrets to reveal.  Do tell, Blake.

It's not salacious, it's sad.  It seems there was a shooting at his high school and surviving that gave him a new leash on life. Again--why are you showing her your high school when it's clearly given you PTSD?  But wait, he still has one more surprise for her.  A montage of his high school sport conquests?  Nope, it's a Betty Who concert. Who?  I know!  The guy dancing with Betty looks like Chris, doesn't he? The former contestant, not Harrison.  Becca seems to know who the singer is and is THRILLED.  She's having the best day ever and the day's not over yet.

It's time to meet  the family.  It's unclear who everyone is but I think both his mom and dad are there as well as their significant others.  It's the mom's husband/partner THE basketball coach?  His mom says this is the happiest she's ever seen him.  Blake had a terrible breakup which I honestly don't recall ever seeing him talk about.  Anyway, he's over it and he's going to propose. His dad(?) talks to him next and tells him to be careful because he's going to be crushed.  Blake isn't too worried though but his dad says they're not living in reality so what does real life look like and it might be good if they did have a fight.  Blake claims he thought he was happy in his last relationship but he wasn't.

Blake's mom talks to Becca next to assess Becca's intentions.  Becca gives her scripted response.  Then mom asks Becca if she's ready to get engaged again and Becca says "yes for the right person".  His mom is super protective and doesn't want Becca to hurt her little boy.  We don't see any other family interactions but Becca is clearly smitten.

Colton's Hometown
It turns out Colton's from Colorado too so she visits him next.  Becca's concerned about Colton's lying about his virginity.  I was really hoping he wasn't going to bring up his foundation but it seems like he is because he wants to take Becca to a children's hospital.  Talk about a buzz kill.  You only do something like this if you want to show what a good person you are and it's obviously disingenuous.  I thought he was going to bring the kids his vests but he brings them stuffed animals.  The little girl is really cute and finally there's the mention of his foundation.  However, Becca seems to eat it up.

They leave the hospital and as it turns out, Colton's never brought a girl home EVER.  She tells him she's nervous about his lack of relationship experience and whether he's going to  be ready at the end of this journey.  Also, being the first girl he brings home puts a lot of pressure on her.  She's ready to get to the bottom of this with his family.

As they approach Colton's family mansion, he tells her that she'll be meeting EIGHTEEN people.  Holy hell, Colton.  Colton's obviously a momma's boy.  He has a "coach/player" relationship with his dad.  Huh.

Colton's dad pulls him aside to talk, well, like a coach and player.  Colton brings up Tia to his dad and how he told Becca all about her.  His dad asks Colton if she's talked to HIM about Arie and if she's really ready for an engagement.  His dad's pretty tough on Colton.  It's very Andrew Clark-ish (Breakfast Club, in case you don't get the reference).

Next up is Colton's dad and Becca.  He asks Becca first about how she feels about Colton and Tia.  Then he asks Becca about her breakup with Arie and if she's talked about that with Colton and she says "no".  How much is she supposed to talk about Arie with these guys?  While he likes how she refers to finding "her person", he says if she doesn't intend on picking Colton she should cut him.

We see Colton and his mom talking, and it's clear he has a better relationship with her.  He tells her that he told Becca he was a virgin and her reaction is "why are you telling me this?"  He says he told Becca about his virginity because he didn't want to make it to Fantasy Suites without her knowing.  He thinks Becca loves him which shows how clueless he is.  He's going to tell Becca he's in love and he's in it to win it.

Mom and Becca talk next and Becca expresses her concern about his lack of dating experience and whether his mom thinks he's ready for this.  His mom has seen the light and tells her "yes".  Also, she's still in shock that her son had that super awkward sex talk with her.  It's getting time to go and Colton tells Becca how great he feels about how today went and that he's in love with her.  She says his words make her feel special but it's a vastly different reaction than her and Blake.  Still, she says she's falling for Colton but I'm not buying it.

Pre-Rose Ceremony
Well, we're through all the dates but we still have 20 minutes to go, so something happens.  Oh that's right, we still haven't seen the Becca/Tia conversation. Becca claims she can see a future with all four of them.  Becca's friends from her season show up.  Sienne, Caroline, Bekah, Tia, and Kendall (it took me a few minutes to remember her name) are there.  The girls swoon while Becca talks about her dates, except for Tia, whose face is making all sorts of contortions while she listens.  Tia interrupts Becca and asks if she can talk to her privately.  The other women sit there awkwardly.

Out on the balcony, Tia tells Becca that she still has feelings.  Becca's not happy about this.  Tia--this isn't about you.  Get over yourself.  Caroline tells the other women what's happening.  It's unclear what Tia expects Becca to do with this information, but this is super shady.  Becca's annoyed.  I think this is more about the fact that Tia wanted to be the Bachelorette and Becca stole it from her.

Rose Ceremony
It's finally Rose Ceremony time. Maybe.  Becca's in a sexy long black dress.  Jason arrives first and has his check in with Chris. And by "check-in", Chris walks him to the ceremony room.  Same with Blake.  And Garrett.  Then Colton arrives.  In the voiceover, he mixes up his metaphors and says he's a mixed bag of emotions.  Chris greets him and is puzzled by why Colton is speaking to him about fantasy suites.  He asks Chris what the expectations are of going into the Fantasy Suite.  Chris says, "why don't we get through this rose ceremony and then we can worry about that"?  Just kidding!  He actually says, "obviously you're expected to put out."  Sorry, one last time.  He says, "I don't give a s***, talk to Becca about it."  And then rolls his eyes when Colton walks away.

Finally Becca arrives.  Chris greets her and doesn't bring up Colton's virginity.  Becca feels bad that she's saying good-bye to Colton tonight.  It's clear that's what's happening here, right?  Becca gives her speech and says this was the hardest decision she's had to make yet.  Jason starts to look really worried.  Garrett looks likes he's spacing out.  Blake obviously gets the first rose.  I think Garrett gets the second rose.  Nooooo, it's Jason.  So obviously Garrett will get the last rose.  This gives me hope that Garrett will get sent home next week if he's the third choice.  See Colton?  Don't put the cart before the horse there, buddy.  Your virginity is safe and sound.

Becca walks Colton out and she tells him she feels terrible.  She tells him about the conversation she had with his dad.  He's clearly blindsided.  It's awkward and I wish he'd just get into the SUV and go home.  She rejoins the other guys and tells them how hard that was for her.  The guys could care less. They're going to Thailand next.  Garrett looks super nervous about this.  He doesn't strike me as an adventurous eater.  Or adventurous at all.  Plus he prefers white people over Asians.

As the credits roll, we see Becca talking to somebody in Blake's family and he essentially says that Blake isn't capable of cooking, cleaning, fixing a car, or doing anything helpful.  Noted.

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