Quarantine Tayshia: Week 12, Part 1

Guys, I'm still worried about Tayshia.  Chris opens up the episode asking us if Tayshia will get engaged to her soul mate or if she'll walk away from love forever.  Guys--this is it for her.  If she doesn't find her soulmate she will die alone.  ALONE. But let's be clear--once she hits 30 it's kind of over anyway, right?  I digress.

I'm so annoyed that the producers insisted Ben couldn't see Tayshia until she was pretending to get ready for the love story. I'm pretty sure Ben gets to stay and she sends Ivan home.  Tayshia says it herself--"she sent him home for a reason".  Channel that, Tay.  Now I'm really seeing Ben's pants and they look uncomfortably tight.  Those can't be good for the boys.  They look like jeggings but they're clearly not, they're super skinny jeans and I thank the Lord that I'm way too old for that kind of crap anymore.

After being pissed at Ben when he first showed up, he tells her all the things she wanted to hear and you can tell she's melting.  Ben keeps waiting for these perfect opportunities to tell her how he feels but he's clearly incredibly dense and doesn't seem to realize that there are no perfect moments.  How old is this guy again?  

Listen, I get it--Ben's hot. But he has so much internal work to do on himself.  I don't want to say that because he's attempted suicide twice that he's irreparable or damaged--he's not.  Unfortunately, he can't do the mature thing like Brendan did and realize he needed to heal before he could be with somebody else.  Tayshia wants somebody to "fight" for her and wants someone like Ben to know that despite the fact he has so much work to do on himself, this is the love of a lifetime (it's not), so he needs to focus.  If I may channel wise motivational speaker Matt Foley:

Hey you kids are probably saying to yourselves: I'm gonna go out there and grab the world by the tail and wrap it around and pull it down and put it in my pocket.  Well I'm here to tell you that you're probably going to find out, as you go out there, that you're not going to amount to jack squat!

What can I add to that?  Tayshia's still super annoyed at Ben but she says he can go to the Rose Ceremony which is total BS.  If I were Ivan and Zak (forgot his name for a sec), I'd be so pissed at Tayshia.  Another surprise comeback?  She's starting to pull Pilot Pete vibes.  Make a decision and stick with it Tayshia.  You're better than this.  Ben's obviously staying and Ivan's going home.

Tayshia walks Ben out and he asks for a hug and she doesn't respond and then they start making out and you know it's over for Ivan.  Tayshia acts like she regrets the kiss but Ben is psyched and 100% confident that he's getting the rose and if I were him I would be too.

Anytime somebody says on this show this is the best they've ever felt in their life I am concerned.  They've either led a sheltered life, they're too young to have had much life experience, or they're lying.

Rose Ceremony

Poor Ivan doesn't know he's going into the slaughter.  I assume neither Zac nor Ivan know that Brendan's gone, though you have to wonder if the two of them wonder why they didn't have to do the ridiculous walk of shame skit that they both had to do.  You know their mouths will drop to the floor when Ben walks in.  Ivan is shocked and Zac repeats the Serenity Prayer in his mind over and over.

A friend commented to me about Tayshia's shoes, but I'm just getting a glimpse of them now and I agree with my friend--there's no way I would have been walking around in those in my suite.  Those would probably go on right before I turned the corner.  Oh to be young and have the will power for that kind of thing again.  You can see Ivan thinking, "if you send me home then I don't want you anyway."  Not in a mean way, but in a composed way.

Tayshia picks up a rose, sets it down and asks Ivan if they can talk really quickly.  Ivan doesn't hear her so she repeats herself and you know Ivan's going home.  Ben tries to engage Zac in conversation and Zac essentially ignores him.  

Tayshia's break up talk seems a little BS'y because she said she had concerns.  What kind of concerns could there be about Ivan?  I'm not saying the guy's infallible but there's incompatibility or lack of attraction and then there are red flags.  It's not really explained in depth, but it seems that Ivan's either not religious at all or is an atheist and Tayshia is pretty religious (which she's said in the past but I don't think we've seen it discussed in depth, or if we did, I missed it), so they are not compatible that way.  And you know what?  That's okay!  It was fantastic that they had a conversation about this and it's perfectly okay for Tayshia to decide that religion is really important to her and she needs somebody religious in her life.  But are Zac and Ben any more religious than Ivan is?

Ivan knows it's over and he takes it like a champ.  There are much greener pastures out there for you Ivan, and I have no doubt your DMs are already runningeth over.  Poor Ivan now has to get driven around in circles around La Quinta.  As he's leaving, Ivan says he thinks she'll pick no one.  Could this be foreshadowing?

Ben Meets Tayshia's Family

We know from the coming attractions that Tayshia's dad has some concerns and I can't wait to hear his thoughts on both of these guys.  I could see a parent being concerned about either one of these two, though I think Zac's addiction and recovery is less concerning.  

I forgot that Tayshia has two brothers.  I don't remember if we met both of them during her hometown with Colton.  I love Tayshia's dress and I love Dad's skepticism.  I thought I remembered that Tayshia's dad had been in the military and apparently it was the Navy.  I thought maybe that mom was drinking beer and seemingly the only one drinking, but I think it's iced tea.

Dad nails it when he's talking to Tayshia and he says, "I don't want you to have to work so hard to get somebody to be on the same page as you."  Exactly!  Ben's talking to mom and she's not very warm with him from what we see, but Ben says it went great so he's either clueless or lying.  Both are concerning.

Dad asks Ben what he likes about Tayshia and Ben responds with the same BS he told mom: "it's the way she makes me feel."  That doesn't answer the question.  He finally comes up with the adjective 'incredible'.  Dad bizarrely seems appeased by this and says he's gone from being doubtful to willing to give the guy a chance, which seems glowing from her dad.   They all ride scooters together but my cold heart is still not melted.

Zac's Turn

This must be the visit that doesn't go well but if dad gives Zac a hard time about his past then I don't think that's fair because I'd argue they didn't get the full picture of Ben.  I'm less concerned about an addict that is now an addiction counselor than somebody who attempted suicide very recently then couldn't use his words when he needed to.

Mom seems to like Zac more and Zac is way more personable.  Even Tayshia can articulate her feelings about Zac to her parents better.  The dynamic between Tayshia and her dad is cute.  Mom definitely likes Zac.  Dad's a little tougher on Zac but I think Zac hits it out of the park.  I've realized that I think I love Zac almost as much as I love Brendan.  There I said it.  I also admit that I might be blind to his faults but that's also potentially because he doesn't have faults.

Dad Drops By

This has been the first time in a long time that I've been spoiler free and I am loving it.  We see Tayshia "journaling" when there's a knock at the door.  Tayshia now has a complex about door knocks, but it's her dad.  Which is weird.  He doesn't have any specific concerns about the guys, it's more of a "are you really, really, really really sure you want to do this again?"  Which is fine but seems like more producer-generated drama.  

Zac's Last Date

We're only halfway through and I can't imagine what they're going to do to draw this out.  Maybe Neil Lane has forced himself into the show again?  Tayshia isn't as excited as she usually is to see Zac since her dad stirred the pot.  For some inexplicable reason Zac is wearing a shiny long sleeve shirt that he is clearly sweating in.  Because he is way more astute (and a counselor) and picks up on non-verbal cues, he can tell that Tayshia is off and he's nervous.  I'm nervous too, Zac, I'm nervous too.

Thankfully Zac and Tay get to go back to the air conditioning and get a dance lesson.  The woman instructor's hair is an amazing color of purple.  Tayshia is clearly starting to spiral and it's painful to watch.  They seemingly nail the routine but Tayshia is still bothered by Zac's perfectness.  Zac is not perfect.  Just because there are no red flags doesn't mean they're perfect.  It means there aren't red flags.

Tayshia talks about her concerns to Zac and the uncertainty of the future and we find out that today's Zac's ninth anniversary of sobriety and how that sobriety helps center him.  He's saying all the right things but it's ultimately up to Tayshia.  She seems appeased by this.  

I hope that the producers are trying to screw with us because I'll be really sad if Tayshia chooses no one.  

Ben's Last Date

Oh boy, we see Ben in the shower.  We see Tayshia and she's in the same denim outfit she was in when she spoke to her dad.  So it seems she's breaking up with Ben today.  They never put the lead in the same outfit twice, so the timing of events is in question here, but never mind.  This is going to be tough to watch.  Ben clearly doesn't know what's coming or maybe he does.  Ben's speechless but takes it in stride and this time I feel like Ben will be okay.  He knows now that he did everything that he could.

There are still 20 minutes left and I'm so nervous because it seems like Zac has this in the bag but it's never that easy on this show.  But aren't we due for a season that's wrapped in a pretty little bow?  We don't need the f***ups of Arie, Colton and Pete.  

As I wait for commercials to end, we have seen this before.  Andi dumped Nick and Rachel dumped Pete, so this isn't unprecedented.  But g-dammit, the producers continue to mess with us.  My guard isn't down.  Neil Lane shows up at Zac's place and it's very, "Hi I'm Troy McClure".  I laughed out loud.

Zac looks super hot in his suit.  Good Lord they're drawing this out.  Tayshia goes to see Chris and Chris is clearly getting nervous.  I'm getting nervous.

Zac arrives.  Tayshia looks okay.  Zac gives a lovely speech and in all of the things that he says about the reasons he loves Tayshia, he doesn't mention her looks once.  Tayshia starts her speech and at one point I think she's going to call it off but she doesn't!   I'm so happy!  

I almost start crying it's so sweet.  THIS is why she was crying.  I'm so relieved.  Finally, a normal ending!  I feel really good about these two but for all I know they're already over.  

They go off in a cab, it's totally adorable.

Matt James Preview

They end with the coming attractions for Matt James season and I can't wait.  I have no opinion on Matt James, there's no investment so I'm all in on the drama.  HERE FOR IT.

In t

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 12

It's Fantasy Suite night dear readers!  I can't wait.  I still think Zac will be the last one standing but I'm mostly worried about Brendan's poor broken heart.

What's the Living Situation?

So, it's unclear what the current situation is around the living situation.  Are the guys all staying in the same villa now?  It seemed they used to have their own room (although I think some guys shared a villa with another guy), but I can't tell now if they all live in the same villa or if they're forced to sit in that same room when they're not sleeping.  Remember when they made Pilot Pete's women all stay together because they wanted to virgin-shame Madison?  Maybe the producers realized this was too fantastic not to keep doing and they're kicking themselves for it taking almost 20 years to start this tradition?  

So we see Tayshia and randomly she's talking to Jo Jo.  Tayshia claims Jo Jo is here for one last "girl chat", but couldn't this just be leftover footage from when they spoke earlier? This is so weird.  It's entirely possible that they had Jo Jo stick around an extra day because Chris just came back last week.  Whatever the reason, the conversation is pointless.

First Up...Ivan

Ivan gets the first Fantasy Suite date and he's super psyched he gets first crack. The awkwardness in the room is palpable.  Seriously, starting my own business and not having kids in daycare anymore (or any activities for that matter) has cut off my connection to women in their 20s.  Women who would probably be looking for somebody as adorable as Brendan.  He has the qualities of a townie--down-to-earth, loyal, family oriented but without the grating accent or friends that are going nowhere yet he's known them forever so he can't dump them.  

Zac is sounding pretty confident which makes me wonder if his bubble is about to burst.  Have I mentioned how much I like Brendan?  Because I'm not sure I have.  Honestly, I like Zac a lot too.  And Ivan.  I LIKE ALL OF THEM.  There doesn't seem to be a DB in the bunch.  Zac is definitely more intense and serious though.

Ivan's Date

I am concerned about the pressure these guys have to propose and I appreciate that both Ivan and Brendan have expressed reservations about this.  Unfortunately, that's not how this show works and if Dale proposed after two weeks then you know full well these guys are going to be expected to propose after 6ish weeks.  I think Tayshia would be totally fine to keep dating, and maybe during FS she has these conversations with the guys along the lines of, "it's okay to "propose" but I won't consider it a real proposal."

Back to the date.  Sigh.  Remember a few years ago in Paradise when Evan and Carly did that ridiculous hot pepper kiss?  Ivan and Tayshia are going to get into an ice bath and set a record for the world's longest coldest kiss.  In case you were wondering, he current world record is 5 minutes, 16 seconds.  Thank goodness they're in Palm Springs where it is hot as blazes.  I'd probably want to run around for a while though so the ice bath felt better. 

They have apparently run out of people to bribe to come to Palm Springs because Chris is joined by Big Paulie.  Who's Big Paulie?  He's the goon/muscle of the show.  Poor Paulie, he looks out of his element.  Ivan and Tayshia get in and despite the fact that Ivan is sweating, it doesn't look fun. Also, they're in separate baths so it looks awkward that they have to turn and face each other.  They're not even making out, they've simply attached their lips to each other.  Maybe if they were actually making out it would go by faster. Yes, they set the record.

For the evening portion of the date, Tayshia shows off her romantic side by talking about how she likes to set goals in relationships and then celebrate when you reach goals.  Tayshia is looking at Ivan with a look of adoration that I don't recall seeing before.  Ivan tells Tayshia he's been falling in love with her and she says she's been falling in love with him too.  Obvi they forego their individual rooms.  

The Fantasy Suite is an Airstream camper and it looks really cute.  The next day, whatever reservations that Ivan had about proposing are lost in the wind.  

Ivan makes his way back to the guys and they have another awkward conversation.  The producers make it seem like Ivan just walked in and now it's Zac's turn but there's no way she's doing back-to-back dates if only because the poor woman is probably exhausted and at least let her take a nap.  Or maybe they need to move the train along.

Zac's Date

Tayshia is BEAMING when Zac runs to her so I do think that he's still the frontrunner. It would take a lot for Zac to screw this up.  Zac and Tayshia are going to rub themselves with paint and then rub it all over each other.  And that's what they do.

Once they're dressed and cleaned up from the paint date, Tayshia tells Zac that his mom told her Zac didn't want kids and he says he used to think that but now he doesn't and he wants to get married and have kids blah blah blah.  Then Zac tells Tayshia that he loves her and she tells him that she loves him and as far as I can tell they should just head straight to the final rose ceremony.  Obviously they forego their individual rooms.  No camper for these two.  They get...another suite. Zac pours them both wine but does Zac drink?  I'm pretty sure he doesn't.  And no judgement if he is.  

The next day we get the same rigmarole where Zac does the walk of shame to sit with the guys and now it's even more awkward than when Ivan came back.  Brendan's dressed and ready to go.  I'm not loving his button-up short sleeve shirt.

Brendan's Date

Brendan and Tayshia are going ring shopping with old pal Neil Lane today.  Poor guy (Brendan, not Neil).  Neil's probably pissed he's gotten so little screen time these past few seasons and has insisted on some kind of camera presence.  Brendan and Tayshia walk in and Neil is of course, "playing" the piano.  He does the, "oh!  there you are, I was just tickling the ivories."  Neil tells Brendan to not get nervous and Brendan is obviously nervous.

This is a super weird date.  Tayshia tries on jewelry for her wedding.  Then they look at wedding bands.  This is so boring and is clearly meant to be a mindf*** for poor Brendan.  Then because Neil hasn't had enough screen time, the three of them sit down and Neil runs down the list of Bachelor "success stories".  Meanwhile, Brendan is getting paler and paler and looks so incredibly uncomfortable.  He's not smiling and he's clearly not having fun.  Tayshia finally notices that Brendan isn't having fun.

For the evening portion, Tayshia looks amazing as always.  Brendan has changed from his white shirt to his black shirt and looks great (obvs).  Brendan robotically tells her the day was fun.  Tayshia gaslights Brendan a bit by saying she thought he was the one early on but he's really undershared.  Poor Brendan looks so nervous and says the last few weeks have been really hard.  

Brendan then proceeds to tell her that he's not ready to propose to anyone and I love him even more.  I'm so glad he's self-selecting out.  He starts getting choked up and it's so sweet and I want to give him a hug.  Tayshia is very graceful and kind and isn't a bitch.  Plus it's one less decision that she has to make tonight.  This is the best ending I could have envisioned for Brendan and I'm so so so glad he's leaving on his own terms.

Obviously we know that somebody comes back.  Is it Brendan?  I don't think so.  Is it Ben?  Maybe.  Is it Bennett again?  Good God I hope not.  As we watch Brendan's SUV leave, I wonder the same thing I thought about when we said bye to Blake last week--where are they driving to?  Do they just drive around the compound a few times?  Because the guys still need to pack up.

A New Day

There is no awkward discussion with Brendan and the guys.  The next morning, Tayshia has breakfast that is set out for two people but she's eating for one and who shows up?  Rachel Lindsey!  Rachel looks amazing of course.  I love her skirt.  I got sidetracked trying to find the skirt and when I look up, Ben is back and he's here to see Chris.  I never did find the skirt but it's probably for the best because I doubt I can afford it.

But Ben's not here to see Chris, he's here to try and win back Tayshia of course.  Ben wants a do-over on getting dumped again.  Since Brendan self-selected out and they want drama for the Rose Ceremony, I have no doubt they'll let Ben go see Tayshia.

Tayshia is still sitting at the table not eating her breakfast.  But Ben doesn't show up quite yet.  We see Tayshia "getting ready" for the Rose Ceremony when Ben finally shows up.  Tayshia doesn't look surprised but nor does she look happy.  She's probably tired of people showing up at her door.

This feels...weird.  Now Ben is giving off the Patrick Bateman vibes.  I really hope they don't make Ben the next Bachelor.  Presumably the field will be wide open because we need to get through Matt James, then *fingers crossed* Paradise and then maybe another Bachelorette before we have another Bachelor season.  Ben states his case and Tayshia stares at him dead eyed.

She says she needs a minute and goes to her room to talk to her producer.  Obviously there is not resolution but it looks like Ben stays.  FFS....

The Finale and Parting Questions

The finale is tonight!  I can't wait.  If she ends up picking Ben then I'll be pissed.  Well, maybe not pissed, but aggravated.  I hope she doesn't let Ben stay but the coming attractions suggested he does, but again, we still need to get through the Rose Ceremony.

Here is what I'm thinking about as I impatiently wait for tonight:

1. Will Ben get a rose and Ivan get sent home?
2. Does Tayshia end up picking Ben and it implodes before it even gets a chance because Ben is exhausting?
3. Does Tayshia pick Zac (as she should in my opinion) but it still ends before it gets a chance?

On one of the podcasts I listen to, the host and her guest were discussing that Tayshia didn't seem happy at MTA. I didn't notice this because Tayshia isn't very gregarious but now I can't stop thinking about this.

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 10 and 11

Hello!  As usual I'm behind the ball this week.  I appreciate y'alls patience.  There were two episodes this week.  I even enjoyed seeing Men Tell All although as usual it was unsatisfying.  But that's okay. I've combined both episodes into this post because the first episode is only an hour.  Then I'll give a few sentence summary on MTA and then we'll head to Hometowns. Or in this case, Hometowns will head to us.

Chris is back!

Chris is back.  I loved seeing Jo Jo but she felt underutilized.  I wish they'd used her more.  I was always startled when she appeared.  Clearly Chris didn't do any quarantining before coming back.  Chris and Tayshia catch up and Chris pretends to know nothing that has happened since he's gone.  

Blake Gets a One-on-One

Blake, who as we know had a larger presence when Clare was still here (remember her?), has hardly gotten any screen time since Tayshia arrived yet is inexplicably still here.  It's clear he's not getting the rose, right?  We see Blake assuring the guys that he's here for the right reasons and is, like, totally into Tayshia.  The guys seem disinterested.  

The date is with one of the crackpots that we see a few of each season, but we haven't had the joy of seeing this season because of COVID.  Her name is Gita and she's a reiki and crystal master.  This should be fun.  Tayshia and Ben crack geodes, pick crystals, and get their chakras analyzed.  What fun.  Clearly neither Blake nor Tayshia are into this, though Blake tries to assure us how meaningful it is.  Tayshia realizes that this is BS and that Blake needs to go.  Blake continues to make his pitch but it's for naught.  Tayshia is inexplicably sobbing about saying good-bye to Blake.  I'm going to chalk this up to her being tired or they had moments that we didn't see.  Blake is also stunned, but again, why?  I'll assume it's because he's an entitled white guy and why wouldn't Tayshia want to be with him.

After sending Blake home, Tayshia goes to see the guys and pulls poor Riley aside.  Oh, Riley.  I'm sorry, dude.  I really liked Riley.  Riley is not happy.  Tayshia's meltdown this time seems a lot more genuine, as it should.  Riley, I hope you get to Paradise because I'd love to see you again.  But I'm okay if you want to go back to your successful career.

And Then Were Four

As the guys head into the Rose Ceremony, we see all of the guys stressing but I think it's clear that Brendan, Zac and Ivan are the ones getting the roses tonight.  There's no way that Noah and Bennett are staying.  Speaking of Bennett, he walks in and looks like smug as ever.  Needless to say the guys aren't happy to see him and Zac even says, "what are you putting your hand on me for" when Bennett grabs his shoulder.  Zac, settle down, you're going to be fine.  Bennett's suit is great thoughy.  Ben, meanwhile, looks like he's getting ready for his First Communion in his navy sport jacket and tan slacks.  Noah's subtle eye roll while Bennett explains why he's still in Palm Springs is priceless.

I really like Tayshia's dress tonight but it's one of those dresses that few women would look good in.  Chris walks in to tell the guys that there's no cocktail party and they're heading straight to the Rose Ceremony.  UGH, neither Zac and Bennett are wearing socks and it's gross.  Bennett continues to give me Jared Kushner vibes.  Bennett is convinced that his plan to completely disregard Tayshia's decision to send him home and scam his way back is going to pay off in dividends.  Side note: did you know that Bennett's a recruiter?  I don't see him as a recruiter.

They build the suspense up quite a bit but the results are unsurprising: sure enough, Zac, Brenden and Ivan are going to Hometowns.

Men Tell All

This is always a waste of time and this year was no different.  Thankfully, it was only an hour long.  The biggest revelation (not sure if that's the right word) is that Yosef is still a total DB.  He doubled-down on what he said to Clare and would have no problem if a man spoke to his daughter the way he spoke to Clare.  Awesome.  I'd love to know more about Yosef's ex and how you co-parent with such a DB.  Meanwhile, it was great to see Jason.  I'd like to see him in Paradise.

COVID Hometowns

I usually love Hometowns if nothing more because I love to see the families and try to guess all the weird s*** that is happening in the background.  Unfortunately, this is COVID Hometowns so things are going to be a little different.  

Chris joins the final four and tells them who will be coming to the compound.  Chris tells the guys they need to plan a date that represents their hometowns.  Here's who's coming for each of the guys:

1. Zac: mom, dad, a brother (I think he has multiple siblings)
2. Ivan: his parents
3. Ben: sister.  This is in red and bold because Ben as a person is a red flag and I want to know more about why he won't talk about his parents when he's already shared so many personal things.  Ben says he doesn't know how to cry but the closest he gets to crying is when he thinks about his sister.  THIS IS PROBLEMATIC.  RUN, TAYSHIA, RUN.
4. Brenden: one of his brothers and the wife and his niece. Brenden shows that he can cry because he starts crying when he starts talking about his brother and how important he is.  Take a note, Ben.  Take a note.

Zac's face when Ben says he doesn't know how to cry is one of concern and horror, but it's subtle because he's trying really hard to judge.  But inside you know Zac is saying, dude, you're going to end up in jail or in rehab. Anyhoo, Brenden is up first.

Brendan's Hometown

As a reminder, Brendan is from Milford (not Mendon), which is right next door to where my dad lives in Upton.  If I wasn't married and old enough to be Brendan's mom, I would maybe be one of those whack jobs that would try and "run into" Brendan.  Maybe.  I have no idea if he still lives in Milford but I would probably look for him.  Just saying.  I feel like I've said too much and the date hasn't even started.

Brendan has planned a carnival for Tayshia because fairs and carnies are apparently a big part of Milford.  Look, I'm not going to doubt Brendan, but he's not from Topsfield or Marshfield.  Or wherever the Big Easy is.  But maybe I'm ignorant.  It's irrelevant because his niece joins them and she is fantastic.  It is very cute to see how close the two of them are.  We also finally see how hot it is because they are all finally sweating.  I also love that Brendan brought back the horses that have been a recurring theme during their relationship.  Well done, Brendan.  This date looked really fun.  But I'm concerned that Brendan's going to get sent home this week.

Tayshia meet's Brendan's brother and his family.  It's very sweet to see Brendan and his brother talking.  The brother doesn't grill Tayshia, in fact, he's very kind to her.  I wish Brendan would get the final rose but I don't think he will.  Hopefully this is the most normal one because I need to see some family train wrecks.

Zac's Hometown

Zac's date is Manhattan-themed.  They "hail" a taxi.  Do people still ride taxis in Manhattan?  They get bagels.  Tayshia apparently eats blueberry bagels which might be a deal breaker.  Blueberry bagel?  WTF?  I'm not a huge bagel fan so my reaction isn't as strong as some others I've seen out there, but even I know blueberry bagels aren't a New York thing.  Zac is clearly freaked out by the blueberry thing and that's valid.  Next they eat pizza. and go to a park which Tayshia thinks is Central Park but apparently it isn't (I heard this on a podcast but it's unclear what park it's supposed to be because I don't know Manhattan that well).  Anyway,  Zac is sweating profusely and it's a little icky but then they lie down in the fountain and make-out.  Usually this would gross me out but I'm assuming that because they've been the only in the resort for months that the fountain is pretty clean. 

Tayshia meets Zac's family and they're nothing like what I expected.  The brother pulls Tayshia aside first and he lets us know he's skeptical.  He asks Tayshia where Zac is at as compared to the rest of the guys and of course Tayshia doesn't tell him because she can't.  He was either told by a producer to ask this or he has no idea how this show works.  Next up is Dad and Tayshia.  Dad admits this whole situation is weird.  He tells Tayshia he hasn't seen Zac smile this much in a long time, which could be concerning, but has anyone smiled a lot this year?  Zac has definitely been through a lot and he certainly seems more serious and intense than the other guys.  Also, the work he does has to be hard and draining.  So I don't know what to do with that info.  Mom tells Zac he seems really happy and he says he is.  Mom is really nice to Tayshia.  Another swing and miss on the weirdness, although iI think Zac's family is more loaded than I previously thought (I hadn't really thought of it, but in hindsight, if Zac spent more than three months in rehab, that's rarely fully covered by insurance, so it makes more sense now).

Ivan's Hometown

Ivan is obviously the only person of color left but these two just don't seem to have the same chemistry that she has with Zac and Brendan.  Anyway, Ivan shows how smart he is and plans an indoor date where I assume there's air conditioning.  They watch a video of his little niece telling them how to make a Filipino dish and of course it's adorable.  Ivan and Tayshia cook what looks like Filipino egg rolls.  They look really good but maybe they're not?  Oh well.

Ivan's talked about how his dad is older and is health history is a little alarming.  Ivan says that if his dad got COVID he'd probably die.  So how about Dad stays home?  Because you know what?  Zoom the guy in!  He doesn't need to risk his life to be on this show.  Although I think Ivan might be from SoCal so they could probably drive to Palm Springs.  But still.

Mom pulls Tayshia aside first and tries to be hard on Tayshia but she's really not.  Dad seems super uncomfortable on camera. Tayshia and Dad both talk about getting married too young but he says he was impressed by her.  Ivan tells his mom he's not ready to propose yet and his mom checks him and tells him she has to keep him around first.  Ivan laments that his brother isn't there but who walks in?  His brother!  I didn't expect that.  These two guys could not look more different from each other, it's almost comical.  The brother is covered in tattoos and Ivan could not be more straight-laced.   His brother even has tattoos on his eyelids. I can't imagine how that felt.  

Ben's Hometown

I'm hoping this is the s***show that we need.  Ben grew up in Indiana but he feels most at home in Venice Beach which means that Ben is so emotionally stunted he couldn't come up with anything so the producers had to plan this date.  Fun fact--Ben is a rollerblader.  They drink some disgusting wellness shots.  Ben's sister will be joined by some random family friend.  Ben claims that his parents can't make it because his dad's a doctor and COVID.  That's not an explanation but okay.  

Tayshia asks Ben if his parents think he's ready for marriage and without missing a beat he says 'yes' which means 'no'.  He says his parents have never seen him this happy and this is the happiest he's ever been in his life.  One, his parents haven't actually seen him and two, if this is the happiest you've ever been then see the above words in red.

Ben's sister is lovely and definitely makes me feel a little better about Ben, but not much.  That's not her fault, there are just too many red flags and she can only do so much.  Meanwhile, Ben talks to the family friend and while he's never felt this way before he's not sure it's love.

So I found out afterward that this Antonia woman is from Top Chef.  Clearly I don't watch Top Chef but it starts to make more sense of how Ben ended up on this show.  The friend insists to Ben that he's in love, but again, every word that comes out of Ben's mouth is alarming and Ben seems like an exhausting partner because he's so closed off and unemotional.  But then he admits he's in love with Tayshia but he doesn't know how to say it.  "I didn't know it was love until Antonia called me out on it."  Direct quote.  Yikes.

Ben is giddy but still can't use his words with Tayshia.  She's clearly expecting him to say the L word but he can't.  She's obviously disappointed.  If Ben doesn't get the rose it will be his own damn fault.

Other than Ben, and his lack of explanation about his parents, there were no red flags.  All of the families seem normal and even with Ben's issues, this is the best top four we've seen in a really long time.  Remember Hannah's top four?  That's what you get when you bring in an older Bachelorette (ahem, Clare aside, although you could argue that Clare was successful too).  

Rose Ceremony

Tayshia looks amazing AGAIN of course.  Brendan is in his turtleneck AGAIN of course. Ben tells Chris he's in love with Tayshia even though he couldn't tell her.  Ben is waiting to tell Tayshia after he gets the rose.  By then it will be too late Ben, by then it will be too late.  With almost 12 minutes left this is going to be a long and drawn out ceremony.  Ivan gets the first rose.  I didn't see that coming. I think Zac will get the next rose and sure enough he does.  

It's down to Brendan and Ben.  I'm not ready to say goodbye to Brendan and thankfully neither is Tayshia because he gets the last rose.  You blew it, Ben.

Ben looks disappointed.  I've given him a hard time but he's obviously been through a lot.   He's shared many personal things on this show but the fact that he could share his suicide attempts but not his feelings to Tayshia shows he has more work to do.  Which is okay.  But I'm a little worried about Ben long-term.

Tayshia walks Ben out. He again can't really use his words and says, "it is what it is."  Tayshia tells him not to shut down.  She genuinely seems frustrated and I do think it's for the best that she cut him.  Ben clearly needs a few more years of therapy.  Tayshia says she's frustrated by how emotionless he was during the dumping.  Ben seems lost and can say more to his producer than he can to her and that is problematic.  Tayshia knows how difficult it is to deal with Ben and I feel for her but she still has three great guys.  If there were only DBs left it would be different.   Ben says, "maybe she loved me and she thought I didn't love her back.  In which case I f***ing blew it." Uh, you think?

Closing credits

In the closing reel we see Zac's mom talking about how much she wanted to meet Chris Harrison, who then walks in.  She's thrilled and as much as I can't stand Chris, let's be honest, I'd be thrilled too.  Then Chris messes with them by telling them that he has news for them that's going to change everything.  Then he says he's just messing with them.  Hahahaha.

Next week

Guys--next week is the finale!  And thankfully we have another two-nighter.  I'm so happy.  I don't know what I'm going to do for the few weeks when we'll have to wait for Matt James' season but I'm sure I'll fill it somehow.  Some closing questions:

1. Do you think Ben will come back and declare his love for Tayshia?  I think he might because we need more drama.
2. If he does, what do you think Tayshia will do?  Great question, Rach, great question.
3. Who do you think Tayshia will end up with?  My money is on Zac but I wish she'd choose Brendan.
4. Has anybody looked into Matt James' women?  Admittedly I'm not that interested in Matt James but unlike last years when I've said I wouldn't watch (ahem, Colton), I will obviously watch.  Because I can't not watch.  

See you next week!

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 9

Did you know that Hometowns are next week??  That's nuts.  I am also super empathetic that these guys are going to be under incredible pressure to propose to a woman they've only known for what, six weeks?  And if they made Dale propose after a few weeks, you know full well there will be extreme pressure for the last two standing to propose to Tayshia.

The Bennett and Noah Two-on-One Continues

Last week's episode left at the start of Bennett and Noah's two-on-one.  I think Tayshia's going to potentially send both of them home, but I definitely think/hope that Bennett is leaving.  There's a bit of overlap between the end of last week's episode and last night's episode, but Bennett comes off as insincere in his attempts to agree with Tayshia that the situation is ridiculous but he's as befuddled as she is because he didn't realize there was a problem.  Hello, gaslighter. 

Tayshia asks about the box and Spencer stammers a bit and finally says it was for Noah.  Tayshia is not amused by any of this.  She pulls Bennett aside to chat and Bennett tells us in his ITM that he's going to educate Tayshia on the things she hasn't seen.  Thank the gods for entitled white guys to mansplain things to Tayshia.  

Tayshia very calmly lays into Bennett and says that he has no right to tell other guys if she's going to choose them or not, because she's the one making the decisions, not him.  He calmly agrees with her.  It must be extremely hot because they are both sweating.

Tayshia allows Bennett to defend himself and then he starts lecturing HER on the components of EQ.  Tayshia's dead eyes are priceless.  She is not interested in this discussion and is clearly just spacing out thinking about how long she has to let this go on. He ends by laying it on thick of how wonderful she is.  She is clearly unimpressed.  Also in Bennett's disfavor is Bennett's white sneakers without socks.  

Next up is Noah.  Tayshia scolds Noah as well and Noah talks about Bennett's gaslighting.  It definitely feels more like Tayshia is trying to understand why this little boy is having problems with the older neighborhood kid.  Bennett is condescending and a gaslighter and Noah's main problem is he's 25 and thinks mustaches look good.  He's a kid.

Tayshia seemingly wanders around the resort while Noah and Bennett sit on the couches awkwardly.  Tayshia rejoins them and gives her dual speeches to each of their good qualities but her concerns as well.  She tells Bennett she can't give him the rose and walks him out.  Noah looks relieved but technically she hasn't given him the rose.  The Bennett walkout is awkward.  Bennett is clearly stunned he didn't get the rose.  

The only thing I'm disappointed about is we didn't get Bennett's back story.  I was dying to hear that.  I'm sure he'll get a redemption arc in Paradise though.  Unfortunately Tayshia doesn't seem at peace with her decision.  She rejoins Noah, who's beaming, and Tayshia tells him to stop smiling.  She scolds Noah a little bit more and doesn't give him the rose either but doesn't send him home.  My guess is she'll dramatically give him the last rose at the Rose Ceremony.

Finally...The Cocktail Party and the Rose Ceremony

The guys join Noah and they seem happy to seem Noah, suggesting that the guys like him at least a little bit.  Tayshia joins the guys and says she just wants to move on.  The cocktail party is mercifially short and uneventful and there's nothing interesting to report.

There are only five roses to give out.  Ben and Zac already have roses.  My guess as to who is getting the remaining five roses are: Brenden, Ivan, Noah, Demar and Riley.  She gives the roses to Brenden, Riley, Blake (why?), Ivan, and Noah.  So I got four out of five.  This means Demar, Spencer, and Ed are going home.  Spencer's a bit of surprise since he got the First Impression Rose, but he really hasn't gotten any screen time since then.  After all of the screen time that Chris has gotten this season, it's weird when Jo Jo pops up, especially because she hasn't been around at all.

New Week

Jo Jo shows up in a gorgeous green sundress and this week's first date is going to Ben.  He's already shared his eating disorder, does he have another big secret to share?  Meanwhile, Zac inexplicably starts crying about the prospect of Hometowns next week.  I'm curious to see how this is going to work in a COVID season.  Will they fly everyone out to Palm Springs?  Will they throw all caution to the wind?  I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Ben's One-on-One

Ben finally gets his one-on-one.  Jo Jo arrives in a scooter looking adorable and tells them they're going on a scavenger hunt.  Like last week's haunted house date, this sounds more fun than some of the other shenanigans they've attempted this season.

Despite his robotic tendencies, I want to like Ben.  He's adorable.  They end up at a fountain and since Ben's already stripped down, it's NBD when he takes his jeans off because he doesn't want to get them wet.  We've gotten to the point where this isn't alarming anymore.  There definitely seems to be chemistry between them and I'm not sure why, but Ben looks super hot on this date.  

For the evening portion of the date, Ben talks about his self-imposed pressure to be perfect and not be vulnerable.  Tayshia asks Ben about his family and he skirts the issue by talking about his sister (and notably not mentioning his parents, which is interesting).  He left the army after he broke his back and he keeps stammering but finally admits he tried to kill himself twice.  Damn Ben.  As it turns out, his sister didn't know this, so he admitted this on national television.  Again--damn, Ben.  

I'm not sure if I'm concerned or not.  What concerns me is how Ben feels like he's burdening people with his problems.  Did he get help after his suicide attempts?  Who found him?  I want to know more.  He says his sister saved his life and she doesn't even know it.  I'm glad to hear that it sounds like he's been in therapy so I'm really proud of him for sharing that.  He seems legitimately relieved and happier to share this.  Like a huge burden has been lifted.  Obviously she gives him the rose.  Can you imagine if she didn't?  

We've seen hardly any musical acts but they bring out some random guy, I think his name is Adam Hambrick?  He doesn't look happy to be there but he should get over himself because this is probably the only gig he's gotten in months.

Group Date

A group date card arrives and it turns out Blake is getting this week's other one-on-one.  Blake claims he's really, really into Tayshia despite getting minimal screen time since her arrival.  Today is another classic Bach group date--the lie detector test.  Jo Jo is going to be helping out.  The guys look terrified.  Tayshia will also be taking the test.

I'm going to go out on a limb here but this does not seem very legit.  Jo Jo has a laptop that just seems to have a heartbeat pattern as a screen saver.  There is also a random box with red, green and yellow lights.  It's unclear how this light is going off but I wouldn't put too much stock in any answers given today.  Jo Jo tries to look serious and stern.

Brenden looks terrified.  He doesn't do very well but again, give the guy a break.  Zac faces this head on and is honest.  Tayshia is mad that Zac has cheated because "once a cheater always a cheater" but I've never really believed that.  Things aren't always black and white. And he was an addict--I'm not saying he gets a free pass but it's one thing to cheat and keep cheating, and it's another to cheat, regret it and learn from it.  Also, addicts do all kinds of things when they're addicts.  

For the evening portion of the date, Tayshia's wearing a white dress with a very long train.  She can't wait to pull Zac aside and grill him about his cheating admission. So it turns out it happened when he was in sixth grade.  Tayshia tells Zac she's falling in love with him, suggesting he's the possible front runner.  So again, the producers have tricked us.  No surprise. 

Tayshia grills Brenden why his reading was inconclusive when asked if he was ready to meet Tayshia's family and have her meet his.  He says his family is going to wonder what the hell he's doing and he doesn't know how to explain that it's just a show.  He doesn't say that, but his answer still appeases Tayshia.  Brenden assures us he's potentially actually maybe falling in love with Tayshia.

Poor Riley, like Noah, is going to be forced to share a secret with Tayshia on national TV.  It's unclear if this is real or manufactured.  We know that him and his mom weren't in a good place for a long time but it sounded like they were in a better place now.  

We find out that Riley's real name is Dwayne, and that's also his dad's name, but he legally changed his name to Riley.   Riley says him and his dad had a falling out, which sounded like it convinced with him reconnecting with his mom.  He doesn't go into a ton of details about what specifically happened with his dad, besides Riley saying that his dad took some things from his mom.  It sounds sad, but clearly Riley was a good enough person to change things and he did.  I didn't know what to expect, but that wasn't it.

One thing I'll say about Tayshia is she seems much more comforting and relaxed for this conversation than she has with other oversharings from the guys.  I still don't think that Riley's a front runner, but if I saw this interaction without seeing her interaction with other guys, I'd think he was.  I think Riley secured the date rose with that discussion.  Correction--she gives the rose to no one, but in a less passive aggressive way than what Clare did when she gave the rose to herself.

I'm a little surprised and I'd say this doesn't bode well for Riley because Ben already got one rose.  I think the other top four are Ivan, Brendan and Zac, leaving poor Riley a close fifth.  Noah is clearly not even in contention and should be thankful he's still around.  The guys are NOT happy she didn't give out the rose.  

Creeper Hiding in the Shadows

Tayshia goes back to her room and is about to go in when she turns around and gasps.  It's Creeper Bennett, waiting in the shadows.  How long was he waiting there?  Thank goodness there are people around.  Tayshia definitely looks freaked out.  Bennett is speaking in a super weird low voice.  

His lack of emotion is robotic and it's alarming.  He goes on about nonsense of how you don't know what you've got until it's gone.  And you know what?  Weirdest thing, he realized he wuvs Tayshia.  Weally, weally wuvs her.

Tayshia looks like she wants to laugh out loud but holds it together to continue to let him hang himself.  She says she's speechless.  Bennett, being the consummate giver, says he's willing to stay if she thinks there's a still a chance.  Because while he apologizes for questioning her integrity, he can't possibly fathom her ability to know what she wants.  Because if she really knew what she wanted, obviously she wouldn't have chosen Noah over him.  Oh, the entitlement.

Oh.  It seems I've misread Tayshia.  She seems to be falling for this crap.  It's clearly an act.  He claims he's never had emotions like this for a girl.  UGH.  Tayshia tells him she doesn't how to process everything and he says, with the creepiest voice and creepiest face, says, "I know the feeling".  Like he knows because he's been watching her through a peephole he cut in the wall.  

This is beyond odd.  Bennett needs a restraining order and shame on the producers for milking this drama instead of telling Bennett he needed to take their plane ticket or call his jet, but he had to leave.  She asks for the night to think about it.  He tenderly gives her a kiss on the cheek.  He pulls a Blake and goes in for the kiss and she turns him down.  Wow.

If there was an ongoing theme between Clare and Tayshia it's the "I want someone to show up for me" crap.  Tayshia was clearly taken aback by Bennett showing up for her.  Hey, it worked for Ben, no reason why it wouldn't work for Bennett.  UGH.

...and that's it.  FFS.

Closing credits

As the credits roll, we see Tayshai putting a face sheet mask on Ed.  And Ed is very funny.  Where the hell has this guy been?  Maybe I just loved that Ed admitted his skin regimen is Botox every three months.  Thanks you for your honesty, Ed.  I still can't stand you, but if production had shown more of your humor, you might have grown on me.  Well, probably not.

  

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 8

I'm trying something new this week.  Last week I had a day where I just needed to relax and Tayshia was exactly what I needed to do that, so I watched without writing any notes.  But here I am on Monday and I still don't have a post for you.  And now it's Wednesday morning.  So I'm going to (attempt to) summarize what happened.  Wish me luck.

Yo Yo it's Jo Jo!

Jo Jo is here!  Fortunately Tayshia has set out a casual continental breakfast for her arrival.  Jo Jo is one of my favorites.  Rachel has done more than enough for this franchise and it's been a while since Jo Jo has done her share for showing up on current seasons.  Unfortunately, JoJo is starting to look plastic-y.  JoJo coaches Tayshia on crushing the guys' souls.  

But Jo Jo isn't just here for a sit down with Tayshia.  As it turns out, Chris is stepping away to take his son to college and Jo Jo is filling his shoes.  Ben looks smitten with Jo Jo as she drops off the first date card.  The date card is for Zac.  I'm super excited because if you've been following this blog, I've been dying to hear Zac's story.

Zac's One-on-One

This one-on-one is a Bach standard--the wedding photo shoot.  Tayshia seems way more nervous than Zac.  Franco Lacosta is the camera man and he's hilarious.  Zac, amazingly, senses Tayshia's discomfort.  This could be because he's a "grown ass man" or because he's a counselor.  Tayshia reminds us yet again she's been married before.  The dresses are so over the top, I'd focus less on the wedding-ness of the dresses because they could pass for evening dresses.  Although the first one she comes out in is pretty wedding-y.  The photographer pressures her to put on a veil and Zac says she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to and the photographer ignores this completely.

Once the photo shoot is mercifically over, Zac and Tayshia have a picnic and Tayshia reminds Zac she's been married before and Zac reveals he's been married before too.  Tayshia clearly is self-conscious about the fact that she's been married before.  I get it--I got married once before too and I also was extremely self-conscious about it.  I still am sometimes.  But age and finding a much better guy for husband #2 has led me to care a lot less and hopefully Tayshia will get there one day too.  Because you know what?  If somebody wants to judge you for that--screw them.

The vibe between Zac and Tayshia is kind of odd but let's see where this goes.  I like Zac because I love a good addiction story (is that weird?  I think it's the behavior change aspect).  No matter the age, if you've gone through addiction and seen the other side, you've dealt with a lot of stuff.

Zac opens his story by sharing that he had a brain tumor, which was unexpected.  But that's what led to his drug and alcohol use.  During this time he got married and his wife left him when he was arrested for a DUI.  Long story short, he hit bottom and is now a board member at where he went to rehab. I loved it, but again, I love a good addict story.  Have I mentioned that Intervention used to be one of my favorite shows?  But then I had kids and I had a really hard time watching it.  I digress.

Group Date

Prepare yourselves--this is a strange group date in a season where there have been a LOT of strange group dates.  There's been an ongoing theme of nakedness on these group dates, and this one is no different.  The guys walk in to find nude models.  Needless to say, the guys are over naked dates and are not happy to see the nude couple.  But thankfully they're drawing the models not getting naked themselves.  The guys are visibly relieved they don't have to drop trou.  

Bennett and Noah are both on this date and their ongoing pissing match continues.  Tayshia notices it and isn't pleased.  At this point even I'm on Noah's side because Bennett is being such a tool.  Compared to Bennett, Noah seems like the mature one.  

The gang gets through making charcoal drawings of the naked couple, and they all go around the room showing their artwork.  From there they move on to blindfolded claywork.  Bennett "surprises" Tayshia by kissing her without her consent and it creeps me out. Dude, not cool.  There's another show and tell where everyone goes around showing what they did.  Blake made a penis out of his clay and Spencer informs us that all Blake talks about in the house is sex.  Okily-dokily.

The final task is a self-portrait.  They're encouraged to dig deep and whoever bares his soul the most will get extra time with Tayshia.  Demolish those walls guys, only good things can come from this.  Most of what we see is lame, though Noah's yin and yang looked like a middle school collage project.  Bennett did a needlepoint (insert eye roll) and claims that he doesn't come from money.  Many of the guys bare their soul and Riley gets a sharp dig to his mom, who clearly wasn't a positive influence in Riley's life.  Ben, though, takes things a little too far and decides to strip down.  

Sigh.  This is so unnecessary and I'm mildly (majorly?) appalled that he thought this was appropriate.  Dude, really?  Haven't we had enough unsolicited (well, and solicited too) nudity in this season?  Do you think Ben sends dick pics?  UGH.

Tayshia decides she can't pick just one winner so everyone goes to the cocktail party.  The cocktail party is uneventful until Bennett makes yet another dig at Noah.  Ben reveals his deep, dark secret, which is that he used to be a fat kid but then he realized that girls don't like fat kids and he developed an eating disorder, which started off as anorexia and transitioned to bulimia.  I am sympathetic.  No, really.  You don't hear a lot of guys admitting eating disorders and I'd love to have this discussed more because many of the people (both men and women) on this show clearly have eating disorders.  But the way he discusses it is oddly robotic.  Also, the fact that the feelings that he has for Tayshia are feelings he's never felt before is super suspect and a red flag.  A guy who's never been in love by his mid-20s (I don't know how old Ben is, but it's even more concerning if he's past his mid-20s) is much more alarming than a guy who's had exes.  But his gamble paid off because he gets the date rose.

Before Tayshia leaves, she puts Bennett and Noah on notice and says she's going to get to the bottom of their lame pissing match.  Once she leaves, they go back and forth a bit and whatever positive edit Bennett got a while ago is long gone.  He's extremely condescending to Noah.  Yes, Noah is a child.  He's 25.  What I don't understand is why Bennett cares?

Eazy's Date

Eazy and Tayshia's date is fun.  It's about a supposed haunted part of the resort.  They have to go around in the dark.  It's funny and scary and they seem to have a good time.  Those allegations against Eazy never seemed to go anywhere, which is disappointing.  I found an update on Reality Steve but don't look at it until after the next episode because I accidentally found some spoilers.  It wasn't necessarily anything surprising, but for the first time in a long time, I'm trying to stay unspoiled, so if you want to stay unspoiled, again, don't go there.  Long story short, Eazy denied the allegations, demonstrating once again why women don't want to speak up in these situations--because nobody believes them.  So.  Frustrating.  Don't be surprised when he shows up in Paradise.

I haven't been loving Tayshia's outfits this episode.  I didn't love her pink camisole thing and I don't like this green slip thing either.  Anyway, Tayshia sends Eazy home.  I think we only have a few weeks left and I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of cuts that happen at the next Rose Ceremony.

Jo Jo is Still the New Host

Remember two hours ago we saw Jo Jo?  Well, she's still here.  She goes to see the guys and makes a very snide comment to Noah when Noah checks himself out in the mirror.  It was so fantastic and if Jo Jo keeps this up then I think she should get the gig permanently.  She tells the guys that before the Cocktail Party, Noah and Bennett are having a two-on-one.  She asks Bennett to explain what the issue is and he claims ignorance, which is complete and total BS.  

As they head into the showdown, neither is worried.  Perhaps Bennett should be worried though.  It's still unclear to me why he's either so threatened by Noah or keeps picking on him.  What is the problem, Bennett?  

Let's Duel

Bennett and Noah verbally spar while waiting for Tayshia to show up.  Bennett gets up to get something and brings back a gift.  Bennett claims he's bringing the gift for Noah because he's been a peacemaker all his life.  Sure, Bennett.  I'm not sure why Bennett is gaslighting all of us by saying he was unaware there was tension.  

So the present.  Noah is guarded, as he should be by this condescending crap.  Bennett gifts him:

1. A red bandanna:  This apparently references an unseen conversation about Noah's ranch and Bennett's former cowboy days. Huh?
2. Mustached socks: These are apparently Bennett's old socks but he assures Noah that he's washed them.  Bennett then informs Noah that the only place a man should have a mustache is on his socks.  Noah continues to look at Noah stone faced.
3. Emotional intelligence book:  This is another one of Noah's castoffs but he gives it in the spirit of educating Noah.  Bennett also informs Noah he's deficient in three of the four emotional intelligence components.  Bennett is clearly deficient in all four.

Noah, thankfully, is not having any of this, but does a great job by not reacting at all and letting Noah continue to hang himself, which is delightful to watch.  Bennett is condescending AF.  Again, it's unclear why Bennett cares at all what Noah does.

Noah calls Bennett smug and correctly tells Bennett that at the end of the day, it's Tayshia's decision.  I can't believe I'm defending Noah, but well done Noah. Tayshia walks in and tells the guys to grow the eff up.  Needless to say, the guys ignore her and keep bickering.  It's a waste of time.  Tayshia accuses Bennett of questioning her integrity then asks about the box and that's where we leave things.

Dearest readers--thanks for sticking with me and apologies on the delayed post. I'm going to get right into the next episode--see you there!

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 7

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  In this year, despite the children that are on Tayshia's season, I'm extremely thankful that we have Tayshia and her guys.  

Go Bold or Go Home

It seems that Chasen and Noah are good buddies now and they canoodle on the daybed together.  Chris walks in to tell the guys that weren't on yesterday's group date (invited or not) that they need to write and perform an original love song and the winner will get a one-on-one with Tayshia.  And they only have an hour. Game on, guys.

It's clear that none of these guys have any musical talent but there is a boy band manager in the group, who I haven't seen yet in this montage.  Demar seems ready to go and I'm excited to see what he brings.  Here's a notable quote from Bennett: "I did not take any music courses at Hah-vad that's for sure but I spit some flow for my high school friends over, you know, some retreats."  "Spit some flow"?   In case it's not obvious, he means, "I rapped while I was hammered with my friends while we were skiing in the Swiss Alps during winter break at our prep school." 

Boy Band appears and confirms this is the most terrifying thing he's ever done in his life, again showing that he's led an incredibly sheltered life.  However, as the MANAGER OF BOY BANDS he can presumably steal from their songs since the general public will most likely never see these boy bands.  Zac the recovering addict/drug counselor NEEDS this one-on-one because I've been waiting for his story for forever.  He goes first and it's not terrible.  Boy Band isn't terrible either and he sums up Bennett's rapping perfectly: "f***ing awkward."  Ivan, while stammering and making excuses, does a good job too.  Demar does a really good job too but I'm concerned that his days are numbered because I think Ivan's going to win.  Because to be clear, this isn't about the best song, it's about who she wants a one-on-one date with.  And the winner is...Ivan!  The non-winners look sad and dejected.  

Ivan's One-on-One

As Ivan's "getting ready" for his one-on-one which is basically him looking in the mirror and fixing his necklace and shirt over and over, Brendan is forced to listen Noah talk about how he thinks Ivan isn't Tayshia's type because he's quiet and super sophisticated and she likes bold, outgoing guys.  Oh to have the confidence of a mid-twenties white boy from Oklahoma.  Because he obviously knows what Tayshia likes being a mid-twenties boy from Oklahoma where his opinion was probably never challenged.  Because if you look at the front runners--Ivan, Ben, I'll throw Zac in there, none of them are loud.  Because again, "loud" isn't really a quality that most women include on their qualities list. Many women put things like, "good person", "kind", "doesn't think mustaches are cool" as better qualities in guys.  But I know, a 25 YO white male does know better.

Tayshia says they're going to order room service but the phone is in her bedroom, so they need to get the phone but the floor is lava so they can't touch the floor.  I thought this was really fun and you know what I liked best about it?  That Ivan didn't take the opportunity to shove his tongue down Tayshia's throat while they were on their way.  Because you know full well that many of the other guys would have.  This is where we see the pillow fight and I feel bad for the staff that has to clean that up.  As snarky as I like to be, it's hard to be snarky with Ivan because he seems smart, genuine and normal and you wonder what on earth he's doing on this show.

Can we focus on that ginormous ice cream sundae?  How wasteful is that?  Yikes.  As it turns out Ivan is also part Filipino and Tayshia says she's never met a Filipino Black person and I'm just as surprised as Ivan because there are a lot of Filipinos in California.  I grew up in Cali and I met a lot of different Filipinos.  So I'm just as perplexed as Ivan is.  Tayshia doesn't really appreciate being questioned on this and gets a little defensive.

Another Date Card

Another date arrives while Ivan is with Tayshia and it includes: Zac, Kenny, Demar, Bennett, Riley and Blake.  Weren't these the guys that were just on the group date where Ivan got the 1-on-1?  And nobody is acknowledging this.  I'm super confused that nobody is pointing this out.  Instead Bennett and Noah have a pissing match.  

Back to Ivan and Tayshia

The one-on-one is happening and you feel that Ivan is going to reveal his dark secret.  My new favorite game:

1. His mom broke up his dad's first marriage.
2. His brother is a drug addict.  And by drug addict, he's a pothead.
3. His brother is in jail.

And the winner is...number 3!  Woo-hoo!  Well, partially.  I think the brother is out of jail.  I also feel like an a**hole playing this game because it does sound like a legitimately sad story.  As smart as Ivan is, he is a "literally" over user.  Sigh.  Everybody has their faults but this would be a dealbreaker for me.  

Ivan does a Bachelor first and mentions George Floyd.  Doesn't he know that racism doesn't exist in Bachelor Nation?  Ivan asks Tayshia how the BLM moment has affected her.  Tayshia seems to discount it a little bit but eventually starts crying.  As an African American, I'd be more concerned if she wasn't emotional, but it's clearly not something she wants to talk about, which is fine.  Again, she has a role to play and Tayshia doesn't strike me as a social activist.  Which, again, she doesn't have to.  But there does seem to be something going on that she doesn't want to talk about.  It's not the deepest conversation, but for this show it was groundbreaking.  Ivan obviously gets the rose.  Ivan is close to planning their wedding but I don't know if Tayshia likes him as much as he likes her.

Part Two of the First Group Date

Again, nobody is commenting that these guys have already been on a group date (except for Ben and Ivan) in this episode.  Today Tayshia is joined by former Bachelorette Becca and Sidney.  The guys will be playing "Tayshia's Truth or Dare".  Production finally decides to let the guys wander around the property.  This might be the most interesting date yet.  The funniest is listening to Boy Band and Blake fake orgasms and have it broadcasted to the other guys.  I definitely would have thrown up drinking one of those smoothies.

Tonight is the Truth portion of the Truth or Dare Date.  Bennett is surprisingly emotional and admits his parents were in a loveless marriage and he was about to go that way too but claims he called off the wedding, which I'm not entirely sure I believe.  Bennett thinks he's locked in the date rose.  When asked what his exes would warn Tayshia about, Blake pulls the, "I have great relationships with all of my exes", which is essentially the same as answering, "my biggest weakness is I'm a perfectionist."  I would push more but Tayshia doesn't seem to care that much.  The rest of the date is forgettable.  Tayshia ends up giving the rose to Zac.  

Ben Goes Bold

Ben is freaking the f*** out because he was chastised by Tayshia for sitting back during the group date so he's going to visit her room.  Clearly the producers have been stirring the pot again because they also encouraged Ed to visit her room too.  Ugh.  It would be so great if Tayshia loved this from Ben and sent home Ed because Ed needed to go home week 1.

Ed knocks on the door and Chris Harrison answers.  Ed went to the wrong suite.  It's so great.  Chris says it's 2:30 in the morning but he's clearly been warned of Ed's arrival.  Chris invites Ed in and they have some wine.  Tayshia who?  It's unclear why Ed doesn't then go over to Tayshia's but he's an idiot so that's perhaps the reason. 

Ben finds Tayshia's suite and apologizes to her for being a doofus.  She scolds him quite a bit but forgives him.  Somebody knocks at Tayshia's door while her and Ben are making out and you think it's going to be Ed, but it's room service, which Ben had "arranged", which means the producers set it up.

Meanwhile, Ed is still wandering the grounds but seems to eventually give up and go back to bed.

Cocktail Party

This has felt like the longest episode.  I started watching Wednesday(?) and it's Monday and I'm still not done.  Ben, of course, pulls Tayshia first at the cocktail party.  Noah looks so much better without his mustache.  Noah decides he needs to stir the pot and whines to Tayshia that the guys don't think he really earned his rose.  Has anybody actually said that? Tayshia gets pissed and gathers the guys to tell them off.  She then cancels the rest of the cocktail party.

The guys are confused and stunned because I don't think any of them knew what she was talking about.  They immediately know that Noah's the one that started it and go at him.  Ed says that if he goes home it's going to be Noah's fault.  Of course, Ed.  It couldn't be that she just isn't attracted to you.  

Rose Ceremony

Bennett is quite the martyr and identifies himself as Noah's babysitter.  Dude, nobody asked you to be Noah's babysitter.  Boy Band says the only reason Noah pulled his shenanigans was so he'd stay but he doesn't seem to realize that Noah already has a rose, so he's staying this week no matter what.  It's down to five(?) guys and unfortunately I think Chasen will get the last rose.  No, it's Ed.  UGH.  

Are there really four guys going home?  Yikes.  As far as I can tell, the following didn't get roses: Chasen, Joe, Boy Band, and Jordan C.  When I was trying to identify Jordan because I still didn't know who he was, I found out that Chasen is from Walnut Creek, which is where I went to high school.  Further stalking reveals that he went to the same high school I did.  So now I feel strangely attached to Wolverine/Chasen.  Chasen is perfect for Paradise so I'm confident we haven't seen the last of him.

Next week

I've already forgotten what they previewed for Tuesday night but it looks like Bennett and Noah go on a two-on-one.  Because, of course.  I'm glad they've brought that back because at this point I'd be fine if Tayshia sent them both home.

Closing Thoughts

Here are the things I've been thinking about:

1. Does anybody else have a visceral dislike of Ed?  
2. Does anybody want to analyze why I have such a visceral dislike of him?  Because even I wonder where it's coming from but I can't stand the guy.  
3. Is anybody else over Bennett?
4. Has anybody been to Brendan not from Mendon's IG?  He's very funny.
5. Has anybody gone to Montell's IG?  Remember Montell?  Well, maybe not because he was on for about 30 seconds.  His story looks really interesting so it's a shame he didn't get more screen time.
6. Any other good IGs I should look at when I'm supposed to be doing something else, like laundry?

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 6

In case you were wondering, it looks like the toxic masculinity is in full force this episode.   I am here for it.  The timing is a little strange, because it's the second group date since Tayshia arrived, but it kicks off this week's episode.  That's neither here nor there.  

Grown Man Challenge

Ugh, Ashley and Jared are the hosts of this date.  At the end of the day, one guy will be crowned a "grown ass man" and another will get the "man-child" title.  I can't wait!  My guess is Chasen will get the "man child" title.  Thankfully, Bennett is on this date and it's nice to have him back.  Scratch that--Bennett, might get the man-child title because he's acting super weird.  He's also proof that he got into Harvard because of his money and connections and not because he's brilliant.  I find it strange that he seems to be getting a bad edit on this episode.  

The next challenge is sort of a reverse tug of war.  It's very Titan Games-esque.  The only reason Ed has made it this far into the season is because of the Clare shenanigans.  Bennett claims he can't compete because of an old polo sailing equestrian lacrosse football injury.  Sure, B, sure.

Next the guys have to make breakfast in bed for Tayshia.  It's lame.  Here are the highlights:

1. Another guy whose name I still can't remember seems to think Scottsdale started "Sunday Fundays."  
2. Ed does the lame, "sit on my back while I do push ups" move.
3. Bennett, in his bathrobe and clearly with no shirt on, complains about Chasen taking his shirt off.  Bennett--who did you piss off?  Is he the new villain now that Dale is gone?  

Ed gets the man child award and Bennett gets the Grown Man Award, demonstrating that there was no rhyme or reason to this entire date.  Bennett thanks Tayshia by shoving his tongue down Tayshia's mouth.  I'm so confused by this date but unfortunately it's not quite over.

Bennett still has his robe on at the after party and it's very cringey.  I'm dismayed that Chasen also says "cringey" to describe Bennett's behavior.  Of course Chasen starts complaining about Bennett winning.  Guys--this was a move by producers to stir the pot.  It's so obvious.  They gave it to the guy who clearly didn't "earn" it so you guys will be pissed and start bullying him.  You're all falling for it!  It doesn't matter!  

Tayshia arrives and gives Bennett a funny look.  He immediately tries to pull her aside but Tayshia says she wants to say hi to the other guys, to which he smarmily sneers, "whatever the girl wants." WTF is happening right now?  This is a fascinating study in how the producers can show two completely personas of a single person in this show.  Chasen asks if he can pull Tayshia away and she's extremely grateful that she doesn't have to talk to Bennett.  

Ugh, Bennett tells Chasen he's not excited enough for Tayshia.  Leave poor, simple Chasen alone, if only because his nickname is Wolverine, which is confusing.  This episode is so bad in it's chest puffing.  Ed spends his time with Tayshia throwing Chasen under the bus which is such a quick way to get yourself booted.  Tayshia, who when was asked by one of the guys what her career was, vaguely alluded to the fact that her job title is "Influencer", is annoyed that Chasen says he also wants to be an Influencer.  I mean, obviously, that's what they all want, but you just don't say it, you know?  It's so new money to talk about your Influencer ambitions.  

Tayshia for some reason decides to waste time clearing things up with Chasen and of course Chasen smooths things over with Tayshia.  Chasen goes to confront Ed and it feels like a terribly acted soap opera.  It's bizarre and lame and as Tayshia is on her way back to rejoin the guys, Ed shushes Chasen, who, to his credit, refuses to be shushed.  There's lots of throwing around the term "grown-ass man" and what determines what a man is.  Fortunately, Ben the Army vet tells us what a true man is (thank you Ben!):

1. Grown ass men DON'T argue.  So...they're just "yes men"?
2. They ARE kind.
3. They ARE humble.
4. They protect those who can't protect themselves (women and children, presumably.  Also, baby deer.  No wait, he probably hunts deer.  Ummm...puppies and kittens).
5. They don't **** on national TV about some stuff. (Didn't follow this one but obviously he's right because he's BEN and has white male privilege).

For all of the attempts that this show has made to increase diversity, have you noticed that the only dudes that have gotten ANY screen time on this date are the white guys?  Ivan's gotten some time (and he gets the rose), but the Joe (the doctor) hasn't gotten anything, nor have the other two black guys on this date.  Do you know why I don't know their names?  Because they haven't gotten any screen time!  So frustrating. Ben is also frustrated that he didn't get the rose especially since he so clearly defined manhood for us.  Chin up, Ben.

Cocktail Party

Apparently they're having the Rose Ceremony smack dab in the middle of this episode.  I always get a little out of sorts when they do this, especially in this challenging year, but I'm resilient so I should be fine.  Anyhoo, Chasen makes a speech about people questioning his character.  Boy Band Manager has again forgotten to button his shirt up all the way.  Who has time for such things when you're practicing your looks of shock at what people say?  Thankfully, Bennett has changed back into clothes.  Chasen calls out Ed, who stands by what he said.  Chasen--chill out.  Ed will go home soon enough. 

The thing that I didn't articulate before about Ed and Chasen's bickering is that it was a result of Chasen having the gall to describe Clare and Tayshia using the same adjectives.  Fortunately, Chasen has come up with a new adjective for Tayshia--smoke show. I don't think smoke show is an adjective, it seems more like a noun. The men openly snicker and Chasen looks genuinely hurt and confused by this reaction.  Another fun fact we learn from Bennett--Ed got a perfect score on his math SATs.  This is how I imagine this revealing itself when they met:

Bennett: My name is Bennett and I went to Harvard.  

Ed:  Oh yeah?  I'm Ed and I look like a Neanderthal because of my heavy forehead and beady eyes. But I got a perfect score on my Math SATs so I'm really smart.

Bennett:  That's great!  I didn't have to do well on the SATs because I went to a prep school and my dad bought a building at Harvard.  Also, how old are you?  Why are you still talking about your SAT scores now that you're in your early to mid-30s?  I can brag about Harvard for the rest of my life but you bragging about your SATs is odd.

Ed: I do it because I'm insecure.  Just so you know, I totally could have gotten into Harvard but I didn't want to.  In high school I had this girlfriend who was a model and she lived in Canada.  For immigration reasons she couldn't go to Massachusetts, so if she couldn't visit me there, I didn't want to go to school there, you know?  

Bennett:  Oh yeah, bro.  I totally get it.  I mean, I don't, because I had an actual girlfriend in high school who went to the sister school from my male prep school, but yeah. 

Ben pulls Tayshia aside and shovels horse s*** about how he loves that she wants somebody to be their authentic self and that, like, totally resonates with him?  For some reason Tayshia seems smitten. 

Ed and Bennett continue to mock Chasen, especially the fact that Chasen thinks smoke show is an adjective.  The other guys sitting nearby laugh and smile awkwardly because they also weren't aware that "smoke show" was a noun and not an adjective.

Ed again talks about Chasen to Tayshia and you can tell by her face that like us, she doesn't care about this.  Please stop talking Ed.  I hoped that I would like Ed if we got to know him and his beady eyes a bit more, but the more he talks the more I want him gone.  

Ed tells Tayshia that Chasen intimidated him last night (did they show this? If so, I totally missed it).  Tayshia pulls Chasen aside, Chasen admits he did intimidate Ed to Tayshia, which she's unhappy about.  Then Chasen pulls a, "I'm sorry if you felt threatened by me last night", again, not an apology and Bennett and Boy Band the busy bodies insert themselves into Chasen and Ed's conversation.  These guys are all such drama queens.

Rose Ceremony

Ben is the guy version of the woman that cries throughout her ITM that she's not sure if she's getting a rose.  It's exhausting.  Demar was the other guy that wasn't on the date.  I've also noticed that we've seen nothing of Eazy, so it's unclear if he's been edited out because of the allegations I mentioned last week or if the producers think that because they have a Black and Mexican lead, that they can ignore pretty much all of the other guys of color on this episode, as they already have.  Ed miraculously makes it another week as does Chasen.  

The two new guys from Massachusetts get sent home as does Straitjacket guy.  Chaesen is really focused on his new noun adjective.  Even if the guys weren't impressed, he's clearly very proud and he's sticking with it.

New Day, New Group Date

This is the cage match date they've been promoting all episode.  Forget what I said about Eazy, he's back.  I know Bennett's getting an odd edit overall, but he increasingly reminds me of Jared Kushner and I hate looking at him.  The guys meet Tayshia at the date and Tayshia is joined by two badass women.  I'm really glad to see that Joe is getting some more screen time because he's adorable and funny.  I hope this doesn't mean he's going home soon.

Chris tells the guys that they're going to be wrestling in front of a "live" audience and by "live" I assume he means the other guys.  

Sure enough, the spectators are the other guys.  Wells Adams is auditioning for the role of co-announcer this week.  It appears they've converted an indoor basketball court as the scene for tonight's event.  Tayshia paints oil onto the guys.  It's icky.  

It's unclear what the rules are but instead of mud wrestling, it's oiled-up men wrestling.  Everyone is too slippery to take down.  I won't bore you with the details because nothing really happened. As you'd expect, Chasen and Ed are matched up against each other and I'm expecting Ed to get his ass kicked.  Wait, Ed waits until now to slink over to Chris and tell him he has bad shoulders that "chronically dislocate" so, you know, he's super bummed, but he can't compete.  It's unclear why this was edited the way it was.  It's like Ed told the producers he didn't want to do it and they said, "that's fine, let Tayshia oil you up anyway, it's not a big deal."  And then he got matched up and he had to go over to Chris and say, "I told the producers I couldn't do this but I guess they didn't tell you?"

Again, the coming attractions have misled us.  Since Ed pussied out, Chris asks if anyone wants to "fight for Tayshia's heart" and THAT's the reason Mustache jumps in the ring.  I mean, he still shows off by jumping the fence, but he didn't jump unprodded as we were led to believe.  Anyway, Chasen faces off against Noah, and Chasen wins the match and apparently the entire event.  Again, this whole "competition" doesn't appear to have any real rules.  Which is fine because I'm ready to move on from this date.  There's still an after party and Tayshia invites Noah along and the other guys are pissed at Noah but dare I say, this blame is misdirected.  Chris asked if anybody wanted to step in and if Noah didn't volunteer, I guarantee somebody else would have, so as much as I hate to defend him, I don't think Noah's in the wrong here.  

It looks like the guys were allowed to shower off that disgusting oil.  Of course Noah pulls Tayshia away first so the guys are further pissed.  Noah and Tayshia make out and it's gross but she asks him to shave off his mustache and to his credit, he goes to shave it off.  Ben is gunning for the Group Date rose and I can tell you now his plan is going to backfire.  He wants to be the last one to talk to her and it's clear he's not going to get a chance to talk to her.  Even if he does get his chance, I think Noah is getting the rose if he does shave off the mustache.    

Tayshia shaves off Noah's mustache and they make out more and I lose my appetite again.  Noah looked 15 before and now looks 12.  Tayshia sits down with the guys to give out the rose and it's clear that Ben has lost his chance.  Ben asks if he can talk to her and Tayshia says, "Ben...the night is over."  OUCH.  Of course Tayshia gives the rose to Noah and the guys are, of course, pissed.   

Credits

In the credits, we see Brendan showing Tayshia how to ride a different kind of horse and it is so funny and endearing, this sentence doesn't do it justice but I am totally rooting for Brendan and I'm really glad he's emerging as a front runner.

Closing Thoughts

These are the things I've been thinking about:

1. I listen to a few Bachelor-related podcasts and none of the podcast hosts had the same reaction I did to Bennett and his robe.  Am I the only one that read his robe as creepy?
2. You know how hotels and resorts give their conference rooms names that revolve around a theme?  What theme do you think La Quinta uses?  Maybe desert birds?  Cactus names?
3. I was stalking Ed's IG to see if he's better looking there I could gain a better understanding of him and I found this:

Is that guy on the far right Ed?  If so, what happened?  At least in this picture he's generically good looking in a 90s boy band way but he looks like a different person.  Based on the comments, this picture was taken years ago.