Hello dear readers! This season is flying by. Arie and the ladies are heading to Paris. Nope, they're in Paris. Like magic. The women are staying on a house/hotel ship. Chris and Arie are having one of their talks and Chris' makeup looks terrible.
The women are on their houseboat and talking about how their relationships have progressed with Arie. Krystal of course speaks up? And she talks like this? Chris shows up to let the women know that in case they didn't know, things are getting serious. This week there are four dates--two one-on-ones, a group date, and the fan favorite, the two-on-one. Please let Krystal be on the two-on-one. Krystal is in agreement she's the perfect choice for the two-on-one.
Lauren's One-on-one
Lauren finally gets her one-on-one with Arie. Arie shows up to whisk Lauren and her romper away. The women get to watch them get on their gondola. Krystal thinks Arie needs a wo-man, not a girl. Arie rationalizes that it's taken so long for Lauren to get her date because he's been saving this Paris date for her. Sure you have, buddy.
Back at the boat, the women are hoping that Lauren is doing okay on the date. The date seems awkward. Lauren isn't talking at all. Even Arie's wondering if Lauren is into him. Eventually she starts asking him questions so he can talk about himself. This is short-lived though. We're not seeing Lauren's interviews so it's hard to know what's going through her mind. But Arie tells us if she doesn't up her game he'll be forced to send her home. I hope Lauren considers herself warned.
Back at the boat another date card shows up. It's the for the group date. Kendall, Krystal and Jacqueline are left. Krystal talks about how confident she is going into a two-on-one.
Back at the date, Arie and Lauren have changed for dinner. Arie tries to get Lauren to talk more but she's pretty monosyllabic. Lauren says she doesn't really start opening up until she trusts someone but there's a difference between opening up and holding a conversation. Also, she clearly doesn't get the hang of the game. Statistically she won't get the final rose but she needs to open herself up so Arie can hold her fragile heart in her hands and crush it. Wow, did I take that to a dark place?
Arie's talking about himself again and how is girlfriend was pregnant and Lauren and I both say, "what?" and he ignores her and keeps on talking about how they were fighting about his racing and she miscarried and told him she was leaving that. Lauren isn't sure what this has to do with her, but Arie somehow brings it back to trust. Lauren finally opens up a little about her dad issues and men issues in general. Arie tells her she worries too much which I doubt is the response she wanted. Well, it wouldn't be the response I wanted. However, it seems she's shared enough because he gives her the rose. Lauren reads way more into receiving the rose than he meant.
Group Date
It's group date time and the women ind out they're going to the Moulin Rouge. Jenna is beyond excited. Tia is nervous. The women get in their costumes and find out that whoever gets the rose will get to come back with Arie and go onstage. But first the women are forced to parade out in their costumes. At drinks, Arie tells the women that whoever gets the rose will do so based on his connection with her, not her dance abilities. He pulls each woman aside and Caitlin is nervous about competing with the other women. Finally it's time for Arie to give the rose out and it goes to Bekah M., who acts cutesy and annoying. Arie and Bekah are in the show and the rest of the women have to watch. They're less than thrilled to watch this.
Two-on-One
Jacqueline, Lauren and Kendall talk about the upcoming two-on-one and who will be on it and how Krystal is bragging about how she'll do well if she's on it. Krystal finds a date card and is wearing one of the strangest outfits I've seen in awhile. Krystal reads the card very dramatically and announces it's her and Kendall. Krystal is like an animated cat licking her chops with glee and sneering with pity at Kendall.
As they head into the date, Kendall is nervous and Krystal is strutting. Arie's anxious too and prepared for awkwardness. Arie abandons the women in a maze and encourages them to find him. Back at the boat, Lauren and Tia are concerned that Kendall won't get the rose. Krystal finds Arie but Kendall is still lost.
The three of them have an awkward champagne toast and Krystal pulls Arie aside. Arie says in this interview that Krystal is on thin ice. Krystal plays the doe-eyed act and murmurs a lot. Krystal tries to change the story about last week's events, but Arie sticks to his guns and tells her that she should have spoken to him first. She nods and rubs his shoulder. It's clear that Krystal is staying. Still, Arie doesn't seem totally interested in whatever Krystal has to say. It seems he just wants to make out with her.
Then Krystal asks why Kendall was chosen to be on the date with them and how Kendall's never been in love? And isn't emotionally ready? This seems to resonate with Arie and his beady eyes. Krystal re-joins Kendall and gloats. Arie finally goes off with Kendall and parrots Krystal's question and Kendall provides a rational answer because she's a rational person. Arie doesn't seem convinced.
Kendall rejoins Krystal and confronts Krystal, which is a waste of her time. Kendall tries to get through Krystal's phoniness and Krystal smirks at her. Arie joins them and picks up the rose. He decides to not give the rose to either of them and says he'll see them at dinner. Bitchy Krystal re-emerges, no surprise. This should be a great dinner!
Krystal arrives at dinner and Kendall is awaiting. Krystal fakely says it's too bad that they aren't friends because they're, like, really similar people? Kendall observes that it seems like she has trouble connecting with people, which Krystal denies? Then Kendall adds the disclaimer, "in this situation", which Krystal denies again? Kendall gives up and says she'd rather focus on her relationship with Arie than her relationship with Krystal.
Arie arrives and Krystal turns on the phoniness. Kendall grits her teeth. Arie pulls Kendall aside and this can't end well. The women on the boat continue to debate who is going to come back and most think that Krystal is coming back. Kendall and Arie come back to the table without the producers showing anything that happened. Arie picks up the rose again. He gives his rambling speech. Holy crap! He gives the rose to Kendall! Arie dismisses Krystal, who I thought would have clawed Arie's eyes out and Arie and Kendall walk off hand-in-hand.
Krystal stares off in the distance posing for the camera. Despite her posing, she's furious. The women are ecstatic when they see Krystal's suitcase being taken away. It's so much weirder that Krystal is sitting at the table posing instead of sobbing as usually happens on this date. Now Krystal is saying she yearns for love and cries crocodile tears of how she doesn't know if she'll find love. I thought she'd go out with a bang but it's more of a whimper.
Jacqueline's Date
Arie picks up Jacqueline for her date and their car breaks down before they can get away from the boat. Arie looks very serious when he's pretending to know what he's looking at when he plays "mechanic". Who knows, maybe he knew what he was talking about.
Arie takes Jacqueline shopping because it seems her dress isn't good enough, he's looking to kill time, or this is a thing he has--picking out clothes for women and having them parade around. Jacqueline gets a boring black dress. They go to a restaurant and get the best seat in the (empty) restaurant. Overall the date seems to be going well. Arie tells Jacqueline he was intimidated by her. She's starting a PhD and has six years of school ahead of her. He says he would support that but then he doesn't seem interested in dealing with that. But then he gives her the rose.
Rose Ceremony
There's no cocktail reception so it's straight to the rose ceremony. There aren't many roses to give out tonight. The final rose goes to Becca K. Caitlin and Jenna's time is cut short. Caitlin doesn't seem that surprised. Jenna is disappointed but not ugly crying. Arie pulls Caitlin aside for a special hug goodbye and Caitlin does the "when is it going to be my time?" Next Arie and the women are heading to Tuscany. Lauren isn't that excited and is talking to someone we can't see about how she's having a hard time watching him with other women.
Next week we see Arie and seemingly everyone else cry. I know you didn't think you'd miss Krystal, but don't you miss her a teensy bit?
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