Quarantine Tayshia: Week 12

It's Fantasy Suite night dear readers!  I can't wait.  I still think Zac will be the last one standing but I'm mostly worried about Brendan's poor broken heart.

What's the Living Situation?

So, it's unclear what the current situation is around the living situation.  Are the guys all staying in the same villa now?  It seemed they used to have their own room (although I think some guys shared a villa with another guy), but I can't tell now if they all live in the same villa or if they're forced to sit in that same room when they're not sleeping.  Remember when they made Pilot Pete's women all stay together because they wanted to virgin-shame Madison?  Maybe the producers realized this was too fantastic not to keep doing and they're kicking themselves for it taking almost 20 years to start this tradition?  

So we see Tayshia and randomly she's talking to Jo Jo.  Tayshia claims Jo Jo is here for one last "girl chat", but couldn't this just be leftover footage from when they spoke earlier? This is so weird.  It's entirely possible that they had Jo Jo stick around an extra day because Chris just came back last week.  Whatever the reason, the conversation is pointless.

First Up...Ivan

Ivan gets the first Fantasy Suite date and he's super psyched he gets first crack. The awkwardness in the room is palpable.  Seriously, starting my own business and not having kids in daycare anymore (or any activities for that matter) has cut off my connection to women in their 20s.  Women who would probably be looking for somebody as adorable as Brendan.  He has the qualities of a townie--down-to-earth, loyal, family oriented but without the grating accent or friends that are going nowhere yet he's known them forever so he can't dump them.  

Zac is sounding pretty confident which makes me wonder if his bubble is about to burst.  Have I mentioned how much I like Brendan?  Because I'm not sure I have.  Honestly, I like Zac a lot too.  And Ivan.  I LIKE ALL OF THEM.  There doesn't seem to be a DB in the bunch.  Zac is definitely more intense and serious though.

Ivan's Date

I am concerned about the pressure these guys have to propose and I appreciate that both Ivan and Brendan have expressed reservations about this.  Unfortunately, that's not how this show works and if Dale proposed after two weeks then you know full well these guys are going to be expected to propose after 6ish weeks.  I think Tayshia would be totally fine to keep dating, and maybe during FS she has these conversations with the guys along the lines of, "it's okay to "propose" but I won't consider it a real proposal."

Back to the date.  Sigh.  Remember a few years ago in Paradise when Evan and Carly did that ridiculous hot pepper kiss?  Ivan and Tayshia are going to get into an ice bath and set a record for the world's longest coldest kiss.  In case you were wondering, he current world record is 5 minutes, 16 seconds.  Thank goodness they're in Palm Springs where it is hot as blazes.  I'd probably want to run around for a while though so the ice bath felt better. 

They have apparently run out of people to bribe to come to Palm Springs because Chris is joined by Big Paulie.  Who's Big Paulie?  He's the goon/muscle of the show.  Poor Paulie, he looks out of his element.  Ivan and Tayshia get in and despite the fact that Ivan is sweating, it doesn't look fun. Also, they're in separate baths so it looks awkward that they have to turn and face each other.  They're not even making out, they've simply attached their lips to each other.  Maybe if they were actually making out it would go by faster. Yes, they set the record.

For the evening portion of the date, Tayshia shows off her romantic side by talking about how she likes to set goals in relationships and then celebrate when you reach goals.  Tayshia is looking at Ivan with a look of adoration that I don't recall seeing before.  Ivan tells Tayshia he's been falling in love with her and she says she's been falling in love with him too.  Obvi they forego their individual rooms.  

The Fantasy Suite is an Airstream camper and it looks really cute.  The next day, whatever reservations that Ivan had about proposing are lost in the wind.  

Ivan makes his way back to the guys and they have another awkward conversation.  The producers make it seem like Ivan just walked in and now it's Zac's turn but there's no way she's doing back-to-back dates if only because the poor woman is probably exhausted and at least let her take a nap.  Or maybe they need to move the train along.

Zac's Date

Tayshia is BEAMING when Zac runs to her so I do think that he's still the frontrunner. It would take a lot for Zac to screw this up.  Zac and Tayshia are going to rub themselves with paint and then rub it all over each other.  And that's what they do.

Once they're dressed and cleaned up from the paint date, Tayshia tells Zac that his mom told her Zac didn't want kids and he says he used to think that but now he doesn't and he wants to get married and have kids blah blah blah.  Then Zac tells Tayshia that he loves her and she tells him that she loves him and as far as I can tell they should just head straight to the final rose ceremony.  Obviously they forego their individual rooms.  No camper for these two.  They get...another suite. Zac pours them both wine but does Zac drink?  I'm pretty sure he doesn't.  And no judgement if he is.  

The next day we get the same rigmarole where Zac does the walk of shame to sit with the guys and now it's even more awkward than when Ivan came back.  Brendan's dressed and ready to go.  I'm not loving his button-up short sleeve shirt.

Brendan's Date

Brendan and Tayshia are going ring shopping with old pal Neil Lane today.  Poor guy (Brendan, not Neil).  Neil's probably pissed he's gotten so little screen time these past few seasons and has insisted on some kind of camera presence.  Brendan and Tayshia walk in and Neil is of course, "playing" the piano.  He does the, "oh!  there you are, I was just tickling the ivories."  Neil tells Brendan to not get nervous and Brendan is obviously nervous.

This is a super weird date.  Tayshia tries on jewelry for her wedding.  Then they look at wedding bands.  This is so boring and is clearly meant to be a mindf*** for poor Brendan.  Then because Neil hasn't had enough screen time, the three of them sit down and Neil runs down the list of Bachelor "success stories".  Meanwhile, Brendan is getting paler and paler and looks so incredibly uncomfortable.  He's not smiling and he's clearly not having fun.  Tayshia finally notices that Brendan isn't having fun.

For the evening portion, Tayshia looks amazing as always.  Brendan has changed from his white shirt to his black shirt and looks great (obvs).  Brendan robotically tells her the day was fun.  Tayshia gaslights Brendan a bit by saying she thought he was the one early on but he's really undershared.  Poor Brendan looks so nervous and says the last few weeks have been really hard.  

Brendan then proceeds to tell her that he's not ready to propose to anyone and I love him even more.  I'm so glad he's self-selecting out.  He starts getting choked up and it's so sweet and I want to give him a hug.  Tayshia is very graceful and kind and isn't a bitch.  Plus it's one less decision that she has to make tonight.  This is the best ending I could have envisioned for Brendan and I'm so so so glad he's leaving on his own terms.

Obviously we know that somebody comes back.  Is it Brendan?  I don't think so.  Is it Ben?  Maybe.  Is it Bennett again?  Good God I hope not.  As we watch Brendan's SUV leave, I wonder the same thing I thought about when we said bye to Blake last week--where are they driving to?  Do they just drive around the compound a few times?  Because the guys still need to pack up.

A New Day

There is no awkward discussion with Brendan and the guys.  The next morning, Tayshia has breakfast that is set out for two people but she's eating for one and who shows up?  Rachel Lindsey!  Rachel looks amazing of course.  I love her skirt.  I got sidetracked trying to find the skirt and when I look up, Ben is back and he's here to see Chris.  I never did find the skirt but it's probably for the best because I doubt I can afford it.

But Ben's not here to see Chris, he's here to try and win back Tayshia of course.  Ben wants a do-over on getting dumped again.  Since Brendan self-selected out and they want drama for the Rose Ceremony, I have no doubt they'll let Ben go see Tayshia.

Tayshia is still sitting at the table not eating her breakfast.  But Ben doesn't show up quite yet.  We see Tayshia "getting ready" for the Rose Ceremony when Ben finally shows up.  Tayshia doesn't look surprised but nor does she look happy.  She's probably tired of people showing up at her door.

This feels...weird.  Now Ben is giving off the Patrick Bateman vibes.  I really hope they don't make Ben the next Bachelor.  Presumably the field will be wide open because we need to get through Matt James, then *fingers crossed* Paradise and then maybe another Bachelorette before we have another Bachelor season.  Ben states his case and Tayshia stares at him dead eyed.

She says she needs a minute and goes to her room to talk to her producer.  Obviously there is not resolution but it looks like Ben stays.  FFS....

The Finale and Parting Questions

The finale is tonight!  I can't wait.  If she ends up picking Ben then I'll be pissed.  Well, maybe not pissed, but aggravated.  I hope she doesn't let Ben stay but the coming attractions suggested he does, but again, we still need to get through the Rose Ceremony.

Here is what I'm thinking about as I impatiently wait for tonight:

1. Will Ben get a rose and Ivan get sent home?
2. Does Tayshia end up picking Ben and it implodes before it even gets a chance because Ben is exhausting?
3. Does Tayshia pick Zac (as she should in my opinion) but it still ends before it gets a chance?

On one of the podcasts I listen to, the host and her guest were discussing that Tayshia didn't seem happy at MTA. I didn't notice this because Tayshia isn't very gregarious but now I can't stop thinking about this.

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 10 and 11

Hello!  As usual I'm behind the ball this week.  I appreciate y'alls patience.  There were two episodes this week.  I even enjoyed seeing Men Tell All although as usual it was unsatisfying.  But that's okay. I've combined both episodes into this post because the first episode is only an hour.  Then I'll give a few sentence summary on MTA and then we'll head to Hometowns. Or in this case, Hometowns will head to us.

Chris is back!

Chris is back.  I loved seeing Jo Jo but she felt underutilized.  I wish they'd used her more.  I was always startled when she appeared.  Clearly Chris didn't do any quarantining before coming back.  Chris and Tayshia catch up and Chris pretends to know nothing that has happened since he's gone.  

Blake Gets a One-on-One

Blake, who as we know had a larger presence when Clare was still here (remember her?), has hardly gotten any screen time since Tayshia arrived yet is inexplicably still here.  It's clear he's not getting the rose, right?  We see Blake assuring the guys that he's here for the right reasons and is, like, totally into Tayshia.  The guys seem disinterested.  

The date is with one of the crackpots that we see a few of each season, but we haven't had the joy of seeing this season because of COVID.  Her name is Gita and she's a reiki and crystal master.  This should be fun.  Tayshia and Ben crack geodes, pick crystals, and get their chakras analyzed.  What fun.  Clearly neither Blake nor Tayshia are into this, though Blake tries to assure us how meaningful it is.  Tayshia realizes that this is BS and that Blake needs to go.  Blake continues to make his pitch but it's for naught.  Tayshia is inexplicably sobbing about saying good-bye to Blake.  I'm going to chalk this up to her being tired or they had moments that we didn't see.  Blake is also stunned, but again, why?  I'll assume it's because he's an entitled white guy and why wouldn't Tayshia want to be with him.

After sending Blake home, Tayshia goes to see the guys and pulls poor Riley aside.  Oh, Riley.  I'm sorry, dude.  I really liked Riley.  Riley is not happy.  Tayshia's meltdown this time seems a lot more genuine, as it should.  Riley, I hope you get to Paradise because I'd love to see you again.  But I'm okay if you want to go back to your successful career.

And Then Were Four

As the guys head into the Rose Ceremony, we see all of the guys stressing but I think it's clear that Brendan, Zac and Ivan are the ones getting the roses tonight.  There's no way that Noah and Bennett are staying.  Speaking of Bennett, he walks in and looks like smug as ever.  Needless to say the guys aren't happy to see him and Zac even says, "what are you putting your hand on me for" when Bennett grabs his shoulder.  Zac, settle down, you're going to be fine.  Bennett's suit is great thoughy.  Ben, meanwhile, looks like he's getting ready for his First Communion in his navy sport jacket and tan slacks.  Noah's subtle eye roll while Bennett explains why he's still in Palm Springs is priceless.

I really like Tayshia's dress tonight but it's one of those dresses that few women would look good in.  Chris walks in to tell the guys that there's no cocktail party and they're heading straight to the Rose Ceremony.  UGH, neither Zac and Bennett are wearing socks and it's gross.  Bennett continues to give me Jared Kushner vibes.  Bennett is convinced that his plan to completely disregard Tayshia's decision to send him home and scam his way back is going to pay off in dividends.  Side note: did you know that Bennett's a recruiter?  I don't see him as a recruiter.

They build the suspense up quite a bit but the results are unsurprising: sure enough, Zac, Brenden and Ivan are going to Hometowns.

Men Tell All

This is always a waste of time and this year was no different.  Thankfully, it was only an hour long.  The biggest revelation (not sure if that's the right word) is that Yosef is still a total DB.  He doubled-down on what he said to Clare and would have no problem if a man spoke to his daughter the way he spoke to Clare.  Awesome.  I'd love to know more about Yosef's ex and how you co-parent with such a DB.  Meanwhile, it was great to see Jason.  I'd like to see him in Paradise.

COVID Hometowns

I usually love Hometowns if nothing more because I love to see the families and try to guess all the weird s*** that is happening in the background.  Unfortunately, this is COVID Hometowns so things are going to be a little different.  

Chris joins the final four and tells them who will be coming to the compound.  Chris tells the guys they need to plan a date that represents their hometowns.  Here's who's coming for each of the guys:

1. Zac: mom, dad, a brother (I think he has multiple siblings)
2. Ivan: his parents
3. Ben: sister.  This is in red and bold because Ben as a person is a red flag and I want to know more about why he won't talk about his parents when he's already shared so many personal things.  Ben says he doesn't know how to cry but the closest he gets to crying is when he thinks about his sister.  THIS IS PROBLEMATIC.  RUN, TAYSHIA, RUN.
4. Brenden: one of his brothers and the wife and his niece. Brenden shows that he can cry because he starts crying when he starts talking about his brother and how important he is.  Take a note, Ben.  Take a note.

Zac's face when Ben says he doesn't know how to cry is one of concern and horror, but it's subtle because he's trying really hard to judge.  But inside you know Zac is saying, dude, you're going to end up in jail or in rehab. Anyhoo, Brenden is up first.

Brendan's Hometown

As a reminder, Brendan is from Milford (not Mendon), which is right next door to where my dad lives in Upton.  If I wasn't married and old enough to be Brendan's mom, I would maybe be one of those whack jobs that would try and "run into" Brendan.  Maybe.  I have no idea if he still lives in Milford but I would probably look for him.  Just saying.  I feel like I've said too much and the date hasn't even started.

Brendan has planned a carnival for Tayshia because fairs and carnies are apparently a big part of Milford.  Look, I'm not going to doubt Brendan, but he's not from Topsfield or Marshfield.  Or wherever the Big Easy is.  But maybe I'm ignorant.  It's irrelevant because his niece joins them and she is fantastic.  It is very cute to see how close the two of them are.  We also finally see how hot it is because they are all finally sweating.  I also love that Brendan brought back the horses that have been a recurring theme during their relationship.  Well done, Brendan.  This date looked really fun.  But I'm concerned that Brendan's going to get sent home this week.

Tayshia meet's Brendan's brother and his family.  It's very sweet to see Brendan and his brother talking.  The brother doesn't grill Tayshia, in fact, he's very kind to her.  I wish Brendan would get the final rose but I don't think he will.  Hopefully this is the most normal one because I need to see some family train wrecks.

Zac's Hometown

Zac's date is Manhattan-themed.  They "hail" a taxi.  Do people still ride taxis in Manhattan?  They get bagels.  Tayshia apparently eats blueberry bagels which might be a deal breaker.  Blueberry bagel?  WTF?  I'm not a huge bagel fan so my reaction isn't as strong as some others I've seen out there, but even I know blueberry bagels aren't a New York thing.  Zac is clearly freaked out by the blueberry thing and that's valid.  Next they eat pizza. and go to a park which Tayshia thinks is Central Park but apparently it isn't (I heard this on a podcast but it's unclear what park it's supposed to be because I don't know Manhattan that well).  Anyway,  Zac is sweating profusely and it's a little icky but then they lie down in the fountain and make-out.  Usually this would gross me out but I'm assuming that because they've been the only in the resort for months that the fountain is pretty clean. 

Tayshia meets Zac's family and they're nothing like what I expected.  The brother pulls Tayshia aside first and he lets us know he's skeptical.  He asks Tayshia where Zac is at as compared to the rest of the guys and of course Tayshia doesn't tell him because she can't.  He was either told by a producer to ask this or he has no idea how this show works.  Next up is Dad and Tayshia.  Dad admits this whole situation is weird.  He tells Tayshia he hasn't seen Zac smile this much in a long time, which could be concerning, but has anyone smiled a lot this year?  Zac has definitely been through a lot and he certainly seems more serious and intense than the other guys.  Also, the work he does has to be hard and draining.  So I don't know what to do with that info.  Mom tells Zac he seems really happy and he says he is.  Mom is really nice to Tayshia.  Another swing and miss on the weirdness, although iI think Zac's family is more loaded than I previously thought (I hadn't really thought of it, but in hindsight, if Zac spent more than three months in rehab, that's rarely fully covered by insurance, so it makes more sense now).

Ivan's Hometown

Ivan is obviously the only person of color left but these two just don't seem to have the same chemistry that she has with Zac and Brendan.  Anyway, Ivan shows how smart he is and plans an indoor date where I assume there's air conditioning.  They watch a video of his little niece telling them how to make a Filipino dish and of course it's adorable.  Ivan and Tayshia cook what looks like Filipino egg rolls.  They look really good but maybe they're not?  Oh well.

Ivan's talked about how his dad is older and is health history is a little alarming.  Ivan says that if his dad got COVID he'd probably die.  So how about Dad stays home?  Because you know what?  Zoom the guy in!  He doesn't need to risk his life to be on this show.  Although I think Ivan might be from SoCal so they could probably drive to Palm Springs.  But still.

Mom pulls Tayshia aside first and tries to be hard on Tayshia but she's really not.  Dad seems super uncomfortable on camera. Tayshia and Dad both talk about getting married too young but he says he was impressed by her.  Ivan tells his mom he's not ready to propose yet and his mom checks him and tells him she has to keep him around first.  Ivan laments that his brother isn't there but who walks in?  His brother!  I didn't expect that.  These two guys could not look more different from each other, it's almost comical.  The brother is covered in tattoos and Ivan could not be more straight-laced.   His brother even has tattoos on his eyelids. I can't imagine how that felt.  

Ben's Hometown

I'm hoping this is the s***show that we need.  Ben grew up in Indiana but he feels most at home in Venice Beach which means that Ben is so emotionally stunted he couldn't come up with anything so the producers had to plan this date.  Fun fact--Ben is a rollerblader.  They drink some disgusting wellness shots.  Ben's sister will be joined by some random family friend.  Ben claims that his parents can't make it because his dad's a doctor and COVID.  That's not an explanation but okay.  

Tayshia asks Ben if his parents think he's ready for marriage and without missing a beat he says 'yes' which means 'no'.  He says his parents have never seen him this happy and this is the happiest he's ever been in his life.  One, his parents haven't actually seen him and two, if this is the happiest you've ever been then see the above words in red.

Ben's sister is lovely and definitely makes me feel a little better about Ben, but not much.  That's not her fault, there are just too many red flags and she can only do so much.  Meanwhile, Ben talks to the family friend and while he's never felt this way before he's not sure it's love.

So I found out afterward that this Antonia woman is from Top Chef.  Clearly I don't watch Top Chef but it starts to make more sense of how Ben ended up on this show.  The friend insists to Ben that he's in love, but again, every word that comes out of Ben's mouth is alarming and Ben seems like an exhausting partner because he's so closed off and unemotional.  But then he admits he's in love with Tayshia but he doesn't know how to say it.  "I didn't know it was love until Antonia called me out on it."  Direct quote.  Yikes.

Ben is giddy but still can't use his words with Tayshia.  She's clearly expecting him to say the L word but he can't.  She's obviously disappointed.  If Ben doesn't get the rose it will be his own damn fault.

Other than Ben, and his lack of explanation about his parents, there were no red flags.  All of the families seem normal and even with Ben's issues, this is the best top four we've seen in a really long time.  Remember Hannah's top four?  That's what you get when you bring in an older Bachelorette (ahem, Clare aside, although you could argue that Clare was successful too).  

Rose Ceremony

Tayshia looks amazing AGAIN of course.  Brendan is in his turtleneck AGAIN of course. Ben tells Chris he's in love with Tayshia even though he couldn't tell her.  Ben is waiting to tell Tayshia after he gets the rose.  By then it will be too late Ben, by then it will be too late.  With almost 12 minutes left this is going to be a long and drawn out ceremony.  Ivan gets the first rose.  I didn't see that coming. I think Zac will get the next rose and sure enough he does.  

It's down to Brendan and Ben.  I'm not ready to say goodbye to Brendan and thankfully neither is Tayshia because he gets the last rose.  You blew it, Ben.

Ben looks disappointed.  I've given him a hard time but he's obviously been through a lot.   He's shared many personal things on this show but the fact that he could share his suicide attempts but not his feelings to Tayshia shows he has more work to do.  Which is okay.  But I'm a little worried about Ben long-term.

Tayshia walks Ben out. He again can't really use his words and says, "it is what it is."  Tayshia tells him not to shut down.  She genuinely seems frustrated and I do think it's for the best that she cut him.  Ben clearly needs a few more years of therapy.  Tayshia says she's frustrated by how emotionless he was during the dumping.  Ben seems lost and can say more to his producer than he can to her and that is problematic.  Tayshia knows how difficult it is to deal with Ben and I feel for her but she still has three great guys.  If there were only DBs left it would be different.   Ben says, "maybe she loved me and she thought I didn't love her back.  In which case I f***ing blew it." Uh, you think?

Closing credits

In the closing reel we see Zac's mom talking about how much she wanted to meet Chris Harrison, who then walks in.  She's thrilled and as much as I can't stand Chris, let's be honest, I'd be thrilled too.  Then Chris messes with them by telling them that he has news for them that's going to change everything.  Then he says he's just messing with them.  Hahahaha.

Next week

Guys--next week is the finale!  And thankfully we have another two-nighter.  I'm so happy.  I don't know what I'm going to do for the few weeks when we'll have to wait for Matt James' season but I'm sure I'll fill it somehow.  Some closing questions:

1. Do you think Ben will come back and declare his love for Tayshia?  I think he might because we need more drama.
2. If he does, what do you think Tayshia will do?  Great question, Rach, great question.
3. Who do you think Tayshia will end up with?  My money is on Zac but I wish she'd choose Brendan.
4. Has anybody looked into Matt James' women?  Admittedly I'm not that interested in Matt James but unlike last years when I've said I wouldn't watch (ahem, Colton), I will obviously watch.  Because I can't not watch.  

See you next week!

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 9

Did you know that Hometowns are next week??  That's nuts.  I am also super empathetic that these guys are going to be under incredible pressure to propose to a woman they've only known for what, six weeks?  And if they made Dale propose after a few weeks, you know full well there will be extreme pressure for the last two standing to propose to Tayshia.

The Bennett and Noah Two-on-One Continues

Last week's episode left at the start of Bennett and Noah's two-on-one.  I think Tayshia's going to potentially send both of them home, but I definitely think/hope that Bennett is leaving.  There's a bit of overlap between the end of last week's episode and last night's episode, but Bennett comes off as insincere in his attempts to agree with Tayshia that the situation is ridiculous but he's as befuddled as she is because he didn't realize there was a problem.  Hello, gaslighter. 

Tayshia asks about the box and Spencer stammers a bit and finally says it was for Noah.  Tayshia is not amused by any of this.  She pulls Bennett aside to chat and Bennett tells us in his ITM that he's going to educate Tayshia on the things she hasn't seen.  Thank the gods for entitled white guys to mansplain things to Tayshia.  

Tayshia very calmly lays into Bennett and says that he has no right to tell other guys if she's going to choose them or not, because she's the one making the decisions, not him.  He calmly agrees with her.  It must be extremely hot because they are both sweating.

Tayshia allows Bennett to defend himself and then he starts lecturing HER on the components of EQ.  Tayshia's dead eyes are priceless.  She is not interested in this discussion and is clearly just spacing out thinking about how long she has to let this go on. He ends by laying it on thick of how wonderful she is.  She is clearly unimpressed.  Also in Bennett's disfavor is Bennett's white sneakers without socks.  

Next up is Noah.  Tayshia scolds Noah as well and Noah talks about Bennett's gaslighting.  It definitely feels more like Tayshia is trying to understand why this little boy is having problems with the older neighborhood kid.  Bennett is condescending and a gaslighter and Noah's main problem is he's 25 and thinks mustaches look good.  He's a kid.

Tayshia seemingly wanders around the resort while Noah and Bennett sit on the couches awkwardly.  Tayshia rejoins them and gives her dual speeches to each of their good qualities but her concerns as well.  She tells Bennett she can't give him the rose and walks him out.  Noah looks relieved but technically she hasn't given him the rose.  The Bennett walkout is awkward.  Bennett is clearly stunned he didn't get the rose.  

The only thing I'm disappointed about is we didn't get Bennett's back story.  I was dying to hear that.  I'm sure he'll get a redemption arc in Paradise though.  Unfortunately Tayshia doesn't seem at peace with her decision.  She rejoins Noah, who's beaming, and Tayshia tells him to stop smiling.  She scolds Noah a little bit more and doesn't give him the rose either but doesn't send him home.  My guess is she'll dramatically give him the last rose at the Rose Ceremony.

Finally...The Cocktail Party and the Rose Ceremony

The guys join Noah and they seem happy to seem Noah, suggesting that the guys like him at least a little bit.  Tayshia joins the guys and says she just wants to move on.  The cocktail party is mercifially short and uneventful and there's nothing interesting to report.

There are only five roses to give out.  Ben and Zac already have roses.  My guess as to who is getting the remaining five roses are: Brenden, Ivan, Noah, Demar and Riley.  She gives the roses to Brenden, Riley, Blake (why?), Ivan, and Noah.  So I got four out of five.  This means Demar, Spencer, and Ed are going home.  Spencer's a bit of surprise since he got the First Impression Rose, but he really hasn't gotten any screen time since then.  After all of the screen time that Chris has gotten this season, it's weird when Jo Jo pops up, especially because she hasn't been around at all.

New Week

Jo Jo shows up in a gorgeous green sundress and this week's first date is going to Ben.  He's already shared his eating disorder, does he have another big secret to share?  Meanwhile, Zac inexplicably starts crying about the prospect of Hometowns next week.  I'm curious to see how this is going to work in a COVID season.  Will they fly everyone out to Palm Springs?  Will they throw all caution to the wind?  I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Ben's One-on-One

Ben finally gets his one-on-one.  Jo Jo arrives in a scooter looking adorable and tells them they're going on a scavenger hunt.  Like last week's haunted house date, this sounds more fun than some of the other shenanigans they've attempted this season.

Despite his robotic tendencies, I want to like Ben.  He's adorable.  They end up at a fountain and since Ben's already stripped down, it's NBD when he takes his jeans off because he doesn't want to get them wet.  We've gotten to the point where this isn't alarming anymore.  There definitely seems to be chemistry between them and I'm not sure why, but Ben looks super hot on this date.  

For the evening portion of the date, Ben talks about his self-imposed pressure to be perfect and not be vulnerable.  Tayshia asks Ben about his family and he skirts the issue by talking about his sister (and notably not mentioning his parents, which is interesting).  He left the army after he broke his back and he keeps stammering but finally admits he tried to kill himself twice.  Damn Ben.  As it turns out, his sister didn't know this, so he admitted this on national television.  Again--damn, Ben.  

I'm not sure if I'm concerned or not.  What concerns me is how Ben feels like he's burdening people with his problems.  Did he get help after his suicide attempts?  Who found him?  I want to know more.  He says his sister saved his life and she doesn't even know it.  I'm glad to hear that it sounds like he's been in therapy so I'm really proud of him for sharing that.  He seems legitimately relieved and happier to share this.  Like a huge burden has been lifted.  Obviously she gives him the rose.  Can you imagine if she didn't?  

We've seen hardly any musical acts but they bring out some random guy, I think his name is Adam Hambrick?  He doesn't look happy to be there but he should get over himself because this is probably the only gig he's gotten in months.

Group Date

A group date card arrives and it turns out Blake is getting this week's other one-on-one.  Blake claims he's really, really into Tayshia despite getting minimal screen time since her arrival.  Today is another classic Bach group date--the lie detector test.  Jo Jo is going to be helping out.  The guys look terrified.  Tayshia will also be taking the test.

I'm going to go out on a limb here but this does not seem very legit.  Jo Jo has a laptop that just seems to have a heartbeat pattern as a screen saver.  There is also a random box with red, green and yellow lights.  It's unclear how this light is going off but I wouldn't put too much stock in any answers given today.  Jo Jo tries to look serious and stern.

Brenden looks terrified.  He doesn't do very well but again, give the guy a break.  Zac faces this head on and is honest.  Tayshia is mad that Zac has cheated because "once a cheater always a cheater" but I've never really believed that.  Things aren't always black and white. And he was an addict--I'm not saying he gets a free pass but it's one thing to cheat and keep cheating, and it's another to cheat, regret it and learn from it.  Also, addicts do all kinds of things when they're addicts.  

For the evening portion of the date, Tayshia's wearing a white dress with a very long train.  She can't wait to pull Zac aside and grill him about his cheating admission. So it turns out it happened when he was in sixth grade.  Tayshia tells Zac she's falling in love with him, suggesting he's the possible front runner.  So again, the producers have tricked us.  No surprise. 

Tayshia grills Brenden why his reading was inconclusive when asked if he was ready to meet Tayshia's family and have her meet his.  He says his family is going to wonder what the hell he's doing and he doesn't know how to explain that it's just a show.  He doesn't say that, but his answer still appeases Tayshia.  Brenden assures us he's potentially actually maybe falling in love with Tayshia.

Poor Riley, like Noah, is going to be forced to share a secret with Tayshia on national TV.  It's unclear if this is real or manufactured.  We know that him and his mom weren't in a good place for a long time but it sounded like they were in a better place now.  

We find out that Riley's real name is Dwayne, and that's also his dad's name, but he legally changed his name to Riley.   Riley says him and his dad had a falling out, which sounded like it convinced with him reconnecting with his mom.  He doesn't go into a ton of details about what specifically happened with his dad, besides Riley saying that his dad took some things from his mom.  It sounds sad, but clearly Riley was a good enough person to change things and he did.  I didn't know what to expect, but that wasn't it.

One thing I'll say about Tayshia is she seems much more comforting and relaxed for this conversation than she has with other oversharings from the guys.  I still don't think that Riley's a front runner, but if I saw this interaction without seeing her interaction with other guys, I'd think he was.  I think Riley secured the date rose with that discussion.  Correction--she gives the rose to no one, but in a less passive aggressive way than what Clare did when she gave the rose to herself.

I'm a little surprised and I'd say this doesn't bode well for Riley because Ben already got one rose.  I think the other top four are Ivan, Brendan and Zac, leaving poor Riley a close fifth.  Noah is clearly not even in contention and should be thankful he's still around.  The guys are NOT happy she didn't give out the rose.  

Creeper Hiding in the Shadows

Tayshia goes back to her room and is about to go in when she turns around and gasps.  It's Creeper Bennett, waiting in the shadows.  How long was he waiting there?  Thank goodness there are people around.  Tayshia definitely looks freaked out.  Bennett is speaking in a super weird low voice.  

His lack of emotion is robotic and it's alarming.  He goes on about nonsense of how you don't know what you've got until it's gone.  And you know what?  Weirdest thing, he realized he wuvs Tayshia.  Weally, weally wuvs her.

Tayshia looks like she wants to laugh out loud but holds it together to continue to let him hang himself.  She says she's speechless.  Bennett, being the consummate giver, says he's willing to stay if she thinks there's a still a chance.  Because while he apologizes for questioning her integrity, he can't possibly fathom her ability to know what she wants.  Because if she really knew what she wanted, obviously she wouldn't have chosen Noah over him.  Oh, the entitlement.

Oh.  It seems I've misread Tayshia.  She seems to be falling for this crap.  It's clearly an act.  He claims he's never had emotions like this for a girl.  UGH.  Tayshia tells him she doesn't how to process everything and he says, with the creepiest voice and creepiest face, says, "I know the feeling".  Like he knows because he's been watching her through a peephole he cut in the wall.  

This is beyond odd.  Bennett needs a restraining order and shame on the producers for milking this drama instead of telling Bennett he needed to take their plane ticket or call his jet, but he had to leave.  She asks for the night to think about it.  He tenderly gives her a kiss on the cheek.  He pulls a Blake and goes in for the kiss and she turns him down.  Wow.

If there was an ongoing theme between Clare and Tayshia it's the "I want someone to show up for me" crap.  Tayshia was clearly taken aback by Bennett showing up for her.  Hey, it worked for Ben, no reason why it wouldn't work for Bennett.  UGH.

...and that's it.  FFS.

Closing credits

As the credits roll, we see Tayshai putting a face sheet mask on Ed.  And Ed is very funny.  Where the hell has this guy been?  Maybe I just loved that Ed admitted his skin regimen is Botox every three months.  Thanks you for your honesty, Ed.  I still can't stand you, but if production had shown more of your humor, you might have grown on me.  Well, probably not.

  

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 8

I'm trying something new this week.  Last week I had a day where I just needed to relax and Tayshia was exactly what I needed to do that, so I watched without writing any notes.  But here I am on Monday and I still don't have a post for you.  And now it's Wednesday morning.  So I'm going to (attempt to) summarize what happened.  Wish me luck.

Yo Yo it's Jo Jo!

Jo Jo is here!  Fortunately Tayshia has set out a casual continental breakfast for her arrival.  Jo Jo is one of my favorites.  Rachel has done more than enough for this franchise and it's been a while since Jo Jo has done her share for showing up on current seasons.  Unfortunately, JoJo is starting to look plastic-y.  JoJo coaches Tayshia on crushing the guys' souls.  

But Jo Jo isn't just here for a sit down with Tayshia.  As it turns out, Chris is stepping away to take his son to college and Jo Jo is filling his shoes.  Ben looks smitten with Jo Jo as she drops off the first date card.  The date card is for Zac.  I'm super excited because if you've been following this blog, I've been dying to hear Zac's story.

Zac's One-on-One

This one-on-one is a Bach standard--the wedding photo shoot.  Tayshia seems way more nervous than Zac.  Franco Lacosta is the camera man and he's hilarious.  Zac, amazingly, senses Tayshia's discomfort.  This could be because he's a "grown ass man" or because he's a counselor.  Tayshia reminds us yet again she's been married before.  The dresses are so over the top, I'd focus less on the wedding-ness of the dresses because they could pass for evening dresses.  Although the first one she comes out in is pretty wedding-y.  The photographer pressures her to put on a veil and Zac says she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to and the photographer ignores this completely.

Once the photo shoot is mercifically over, Zac and Tayshia have a picnic and Tayshia reminds Zac she's been married before and Zac reveals he's been married before too.  Tayshia clearly is self-conscious about the fact that she's been married before.  I get it--I got married once before too and I also was extremely self-conscious about it.  I still am sometimes.  But age and finding a much better guy for husband #2 has led me to care a lot less and hopefully Tayshia will get there one day too.  Because you know what?  If somebody wants to judge you for that--screw them.

The vibe between Zac and Tayshia is kind of odd but let's see where this goes.  I like Zac because I love a good addiction story (is that weird?  I think it's the behavior change aspect).  No matter the age, if you've gone through addiction and seen the other side, you've dealt with a lot of stuff.

Zac opens his story by sharing that he had a brain tumor, which was unexpected.  But that's what led to his drug and alcohol use.  During this time he got married and his wife left him when he was arrested for a DUI.  Long story short, he hit bottom and is now a board member at where he went to rehab. I loved it, but again, I love a good addict story.  Have I mentioned that Intervention used to be one of my favorite shows?  But then I had kids and I had a really hard time watching it.  I digress.

Group Date

Prepare yourselves--this is a strange group date in a season where there have been a LOT of strange group dates.  There's been an ongoing theme of nakedness on these group dates, and this one is no different.  The guys walk in to find nude models.  Needless to say, the guys are over naked dates and are not happy to see the nude couple.  But thankfully they're drawing the models not getting naked themselves.  The guys are visibly relieved they don't have to drop trou.  

Bennett and Noah are both on this date and their ongoing pissing match continues.  Tayshia notices it and isn't pleased.  At this point even I'm on Noah's side because Bennett is being such a tool.  Compared to Bennett, Noah seems like the mature one.  

The gang gets through making charcoal drawings of the naked couple, and they all go around the room showing their artwork.  From there they move on to blindfolded claywork.  Bennett "surprises" Tayshia by kissing her without her consent and it creeps me out. Dude, not cool.  There's another show and tell where everyone goes around showing what they did.  Blake made a penis out of his clay and Spencer informs us that all Blake talks about in the house is sex.  Okily-dokily.

The final task is a self-portrait.  They're encouraged to dig deep and whoever bares his soul the most will get extra time with Tayshia.  Demolish those walls guys, only good things can come from this.  Most of what we see is lame, though Noah's yin and yang looked like a middle school collage project.  Bennett did a needlepoint (insert eye roll) and claims that he doesn't come from money.  Many of the guys bare their soul and Riley gets a sharp dig to his mom, who clearly wasn't a positive influence in Riley's life.  Ben, though, takes things a little too far and decides to strip down.  

Sigh.  This is so unnecessary and I'm mildly (majorly?) appalled that he thought this was appropriate.  Dude, really?  Haven't we had enough unsolicited (well, and solicited too) nudity in this season?  Do you think Ben sends dick pics?  UGH.

Tayshia decides she can't pick just one winner so everyone goes to the cocktail party.  The cocktail party is uneventful until Bennett makes yet another dig at Noah.  Ben reveals his deep, dark secret, which is that he used to be a fat kid but then he realized that girls don't like fat kids and he developed an eating disorder, which started off as anorexia and transitioned to bulimia.  I am sympathetic.  No, really.  You don't hear a lot of guys admitting eating disorders and I'd love to have this discussed more because many of the people (both men and women) on this show clearly have eating disorders.  But the way he discusses it is oddly robotic.  Also, the fact that the feelings that he has for Tayshia are feelings he's never felt before is super suspect and a red flag.  A guy who's never been in love by his mid-20s (I don't know how old Ben is, but it's even more concerning if he's past his mid-20s) is much more alarming than a guy who's had exes.  But his gamble paid off because he gets the date rose.

Before Tayshia leaves, she puts Bennett and Noah on notice and says she's going to get to the bottom of their lame pissing match.  Once she leaves, they go back and forth a bit and whatever positive edit Bennett got a while ago is long gone.  He's extremely condescending to Noah.  Yes, Noah is a child.  He's 25.  What I don't understand is why Bennett cares?

Eazy's Date

Eazy and Tayshia's date is fun.  It's about a supposed haunted part of the resort.  They have to go around in the dark.  It's funny and scary and they seem to have a good time.  Those allegations against Eazy never seemed to go anywhere, which is disappointing.  I found an update on Reality Steve but don't look at it until after the next episode because I accidentally found some spoilers.  It wasn't necessarily anything surprising, but for the first time in a long time, I'm trying to stay unspoiled, so if you want to stay unspoiled, again, don't go there.  Long story short, Eazy denied the allegations, demonstrating once again why women don't want to speak up in these situations--because nobody believes them.  So.  Frustrating.  Don't be surprised when he shows up in Paradise.

I haven't been loving Tayshia's outfits this episode.  I didn't love her pink camisole thing and I don't like this green slip thing either.  Anyway, Tayshia sends Eazy home.  I think we only have a few weeks left and I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of cuts that happen at the next Rose Ceremony.

Jo Jo is Still the New Host

Remember two hours ago we saw Jo Jo?  Well, she's still here.  She goes to see the guys and makes a very snide comment to Noah when Noah checks himself out in the mirror.  It was so fantastic and if Jo Jo keeps this up then I think she should get the gig permanently.  She tells the guys that before the Cocktail Party, Noah and Bennett are having a two-on-one.  She asks Bennett to explain what the issue is and he claims ignorance, which is complete and total BS.  

As they head into the showdown, neither is worried.  Perhaps Bennett should be worried though.  It's still unclear to me why he's either so threatened by Noah or keeps picking on him.  What is the problem, Bennett?  

Let's Duel

Bennett and Noah verbally spar while waiting for Tayshia to show up.  Bennett gets up to get something and brings back a gift.  Bennett claims he's bringing the gift for Noah because he's been a peacemaker all his life.  Sure, Bennett.  I'm not sure why Bennett is gaslighting all of us by saying he was unaware there was tension.  

So the present.  Noah is guarded, as he should be by this condescending crap.  Bennett gifts him:

1. A red bandanna:  This apparently references an unseen conversation about Noah's ranch and Bennett's former cowboy days. Huh?
2. Mustached socks: These are apparently Bennett's old socks but he assures Noah that he's washed them.  Bennett then informs Noah that the only place a man should have a mustache is on his socks.  Noah continues to look at Noah stone faced.
3. Emotional intelligence book:  This is another one of Noah's castoffs but he gives it in the spirit of educating Noah.  Bennett also informs Noah he's deficient in three of the four emotional intelligence components.  Bennett is clearly deficient in all four.

Noah, thankfully, is not having any of this, but does a great job by not reacting at all and letting Noah continue to hang himself, which is delightful to watch.  Bennett is condescending AF.  Again, it's unclear why Bennett cares at all what Noah does.

Noah calls Bennett smug and correctly tells Bennett that at the end of the day, it's Tayshia's decision.  I can't believe I'm defending Noah, but well done Noah. Tayshia walks in and tells the guys to grow the eff up.  Needless to say, the guys ignore her and keep bickering.  It's a waste of time.  Tayshia accuses Bennett of questioning her integrity then asks about the box and that's where we leave things.

Dearest readers--thanks for sticking with me and apologies on the delayed post. I'm going to get right into the next episode--see you there!

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 7

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  In this year, despite the children that are on Tayshia's season, I'm extremely thankful that we have Tayshia and her guys.  

Go Bold or Go Home

It seems that Chasen and Noah are good buddies now and they canoodle on the daybed together.  Chris walks in to tell the guys that weren't on yesterday's group date (invited or not) that they need to write and perform an original love song and the winner will get a one-on-one with Tayshia.  And they only have an hour. Game on, guys.

It's clear that none of these guys have any musical talent but there is a boy band manager in the group, who I haven't seen yet in this montage.  Demar seems ready to go and I'm excited to see what he brings.  Here's a notable quote from Bennett: "I did not take any music courses at Hah-vad that's for sure but I spit some flow for my high school friends over, you know, some retreats."  "Spit some flow"?   In case it's not obvious, he means, "I rapped while I was hammered with my friends while we were skiing in the Swiss Alps during winter break at our prep school." 

Boy Band appears and confirms this is the most terrifying thing he's ever done in his life, again showing that he's led an incredibly sheltered life.  However, as the MANAGER OF BOY BANDS he can presumably steal from their songs since the general public will most likely never see these boy bands.  Zac the recovering addict/drug counselor NEEDS this one-on-one because I've been waiting for his story for forever.  He goes first and it's not terrible.  Boy Band isn't terrible either and he sums up Bennett's rapping perfectly: "f***ing awkward."  Ivan, while stammering and making excuses, does a good job too.  Demar does a really good job too but I'm concerned that his days are numbered because I think Ivan's going to win.  Because to be clear, this isn't about the best song, it's about who she wants a one-on-one date with.  And the winner is...Ivan!  The non-winners look sad and dejected.  

Ivan's One-on-One

As Ivan's "getting ready" for his one-on-one which is basically him looking in the mirror and fixing his necklace and shirt over and over, Brendan is forced to listen Noah talk about how he thinks Ivan isn't Tayshia's type because he's quiet and super sophisticated and she likes bold, outgoing guys.  Oh to have the confidence of a mid-twenties white boy from Oklahoma.  Because he obviously knows what Tayshia likes being a mid-twenties boy from Oklahoma where his opinion was probably never challenged.  Because if you look at the front runners--Ivan, Ben, I'll throw Zac in there, none of them are loud.  Because again, "loud" isn't really a quality that most women include on their qualities list. Many women put things like, "good person", "kind", "doesn't think mustaches are cool" as better qualities in guys.  But I know, a 25 YO white male does know better.

Tayshia says they're going to order room service but the phone is in her bedroom, so they need to get the phone but the floor is lava so they can't touch the floor.  I thought this was really fun and you know what I liked best about it?  That Ivan didn't take the opportunity to shove his tongue down Tayshia's throat while they were on their way.  Because you know full well that many of the other guys would have.  This is where we see the pillow fight and I feel bad for the staff that has to clean that up.  As snarky as I like to be, it's hard to be snarky with Ivan because he seems smart, genuine and normal and you wonder what on earth he's doing on this show.

Can we focus on that ginormous ice cream sundae?  How wasteful is that?  Yikes.  As it turns out Ivan is also part Filipino and Tayshia says she's never met a Filipino Black person and I'm just as surprised as Ivan because there are a lot of Filipinos in California.  I grew up in Cali and I met a lot of different Filipinos.  So I'm just as perplexed as Ivan is.  Tayshia doesn't really appreciate being questioned on this and gets a little defensive.

Another Date Card

Another date arrives while Ivan is with Tayshia and it includes: Zac, Kenny, Demar, Bennett, Riley and Blake.  Weren't these the guys that were just on the group date where Ivan got the 1-on-1?  And nobody is acknowledging this.  I'm super confused that nobody is pointing this out.  Instead Bennett and Noah have a pissing match.  

Back to Ivan and Tayshia

The one-on-one is happening and you feel that Ivan is going to reveal his dark secret.  My new favorite game:

1. His mom broke up his dad's first marriage.
2. His brother is a drug addict.  And by drug addict, he's a pothead.
3. His brother is in jail.

And the winner is...number 3!  Woo-hoo!  Well, partially.  I think the brother is out of jail.  I also feel like an a**hole playing this game because it does sound like a legitimately sad story.  As smart as Ivan is, he is a "literally" over user.  Sigh.  Everybody has their faults but this would be a dealbreaker for me.  

Ivan does a Bachelor first and mentions George Floyd.  Doesn't he know that racism doesn't exist in Bachelor Nation?  Ivan asks Tayshia how the BLM moment has affected her.  Tayshia seems to discount it a little bit but eventually starts crying.  As an African American, I'd be more concerned if she wasn't emotional, but it's clearly not something she wants to talk about, which is fine.  Again, she has a role to play and Tayshia doesn't strike me as a social activist.  Which, again, she doesn't have to.  But there does seem to be something going on that she doesn't want to talk about.  It's not the deepest conversation, but for this show it was groundbreaking.  Ivan obviously gets the rose.  Ivan is close to planning their wedding but I don't know if Tayshia likes him as much as he likes her.

Part Two of the First Group Date

Again, nobody is commenting that these guys have already been on a group date (except for Ben and Ivan) in this episode.  Today Tayshia is joined by former Bachelorette Becca and Sidney.  The guys will be playing "Tayshia's Truth or Dare".  Production finally decides to let the guys wander around the property.  This might be the most interesting date yet.  The funniest is listening to Boy Band and Blake fake orgasms and have it broadcasted to the other guys.  I definitely would have thrown up drinking one of those smoothies.

Tonight is the Truth portion of the Truth or Dare Date.  Bennett is surprisingly emotional and admits his parents were in a loveless marriage and he was about to go that way too but claims he called off the wedding, which I'm not entirely sure I believe.  Bennett thinks he's locked in the date rose.  When asked what his exes would warn Tayshia about, Blake pulls the, "I have great relationships with all of my exes", which is essentially the same as answering, "my biggest weakness is I'm a perfectionist."  I would push more but Tayshia doesn't seem to care that much.  The rest of the date is forgettable.  Tayshia ends up giving the rose to Zac.  

Ben Goes Bold

Ben is freaking the f*** out because he was chastised by Tayshia for sitting back during the group date so he's going to visit her room.  Clearly the producers have been stirring the pot again because they also encouraged Ed to visit her room too.  Ugh.  It would be so great if Tayshia loved this from Ben and sent home Ed because Ed needed to go home week 1.

Ed knocks on the door and Chris Harrison answers.  Ed went to the wrong suite.  It's so great.  Chris says it's 2:30 in the morning but he's clearly been warned of Ed's arrival.  Chris invites Ed in and they have some wine.  Tayshia who?  It's unclear why Ed doesn't then go over to Tayshia's but he's an idiot so that's perhaps the reason. 

Ben finds Tayshia's suite and apologizes to her for being a doofus.  She scolds him quite a bit but forgives him.  Somebody knocks at Tayshia's door while her and Ben are making out and you think it's going to be Ed, but it's room service, which Ben had "arranged", which means the producers set it up.

Meanwhile, Ed is still wandering the grounds but seems to eventually give up and go back to bed.

Cocktail Party

This has felt like the longest episode.  I started watching Wednesday(?) and it's Monday and I'm still not done.  Ben, of course, pulls Tayshia first at the cocktail party.  Noah looks so much better without his mustache.  Noah decides he needs to stir the pot and whines to Tayshia that the guys don't think he really earned his rose.  Has anybody actually said that? Tayshia gets pissed and gathers the guys to tell them off.  She then cancels the rest of the cocktail party.

The guys are confused and stunned because I don't think any of them knew what she was talking about.  They immediately know that Noah's the one that started it and go at him.  Ed says that if he goes home it's going to be Noah's fault.  Of course, Ed.  It couldn't be that she just isn't attracted to you.  

Rose Ceremony

Bennett is quite the martyr and identifies himself as Noah's babysitter.  Dude, nobody asked you to be Noah's babysitter.  Boy Band says the only reason Noah pulled his shenanigans was so he'd stay but he doesn't seem to realize that Noah already has a rose, so he's staying this week no matter what.  It's down to five(?) guys and unfortunately I think Chasen will get the last rose.  No, it's Ed.  UGH.  

Are there really four guys going home?  Yikes.  As far as I can tell, the following didn't get roses: Chasen, Joe, Boy Band, and Jordan C.  When I was trying to identify Jordan because I still didn't know who he was, I found out that Chasen is from Walnut Creek, which is where I went to high school.  Further stalking reveals that he went to the same high school I did.  So now I feel strangely attached to Wolverine/Chasen.  Chasen is perfect for Paradise so I'm confident we haven't seen the last of him.

Next week

I've already forgotten what they previewed for Tuesday night but it looks like Bennett and Noah go on a two-on-one.  Because, of course.  I'm glad they've brought that back because at this point I'd be fine if Tayshia sent them both home.

Closing Thoughts

Here are the things I've been thinking about:

1. Does anybody else have a visceral dislike of Ed?  
2. Does anybody want to analyze why I have such a visceral dislike of him?  Because even I wonder where it's coming from but I can't stand the guy.  
3. Is anybody else over Bennett?
4. Has anybody been to Brendan not from Mendon's IG?  He's very funny.
5. Has anybody gone to Montell's IG?  Remember Montell?  Well, maybe not because he was on for about 30 seconds.  His story looks really interesting so it's a shame he didn't get more screen time.
6. Any other good IGs I should look at when I'm supposed to be doing something else, like laundry?

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 6

In case you were wondering, it looks like the toxic masculinity is in full force this episode.   I am here for it.  The timing is a little strange, because it's the second group date since Tayshia arrived, but it kicks off this week's episode.  That's neither here nor there.  

Grown Man Challenge

Ugh, Ashley and Jared are the hosts of this date.  At the end of the day, one guy will be crowned a "grown ass man" and another will get the "man-child" title.  I can't wait!  My guess is Chasen will get the "man child" title.  Thankfully, Bennett is on this date and it's nice to have him back.  Scratch that--Bennett, might get the man-child title because he's acting super weird.  He's also proof that he got into Harvard because of his money and connections and not because he's brilliant.  I find it strange that he seems to be getting a bad edit on this episode.  

The next challenge is sort of a reverse tug of war.  It's very Titan Games-esque.  The only reason Ed has made it this far into the season is because of the Clare shenanigans.  Bennett claims he can't compete because of an old polo sailing equestrian lacrosse football injury.  Sure, B, sure.

Next the guys have to make breakfast in bed for Tayshia.  It's lame.  Here are the highlights:

1. Another guy whose name I still can't remember seems to think Scottsdale started "Sunday Fundays."  
2. Ed does the lame, "sit on my back while I do push ups" move.
3. Bennett, in his bathrobe and clearly with no shirt on, complains about Chasen taking his shirt off.  Bennett--who did you piss off?  Is he the new villain now that Dale is gone?  

Ed gets the man child award and Bennett gets the Grown Man Award, demonstrating that there was no rhyme or reason to this entire date.  Bennett thanks Tayshia by shoving his tongue down Tayshia's mouth.  I'm so confused by this date but unfortunately it's not quite over.

Bennett still has his robe on at the after party and it's very cringey.  I'm dismayed that Chasen also says "cringey" to describe Bennett's behavior.  Of course Chasen starts complaining about Bennett winning.  Guys--this was a move by producers to stir the pot.  It's so obvious.  They gave it to the guy who clearly didn't "earn" it so you guys will be pissed and start bullying him.  You're all falling for it!  It doesn't matter!  

Tayshia arrives and gives Bennett a funny look.  He immediately tries to pull her aside but Tayshia says she wants to say hi to the other guys, to which he smarmily sneers, "whatever the girl wants." WTF is happening right now?  This is a fascinating study in how the producers can show two completely personas of a single person in this show.  Chasen asks if he can pull Tayshia away and she's extremely grateful that she doesn't have to talk to Bennett.  

Ugh, Bennett tells Chasen he's not excited enough for Tayshia.  Leave poor, simple Chasen alone, if only because his nickname is Wolverine, which is confusing.  This episode is so bad in it's chest puffing.  Ed spends his time with Tayshia throwing Chasen under the bus which is such a quick way to get yourself booted.  Tayshia, who when was asked by one of the guys what her career was, vaguely alluded to the fact that her job title is "Influencer", is annoyed that Chasen says he also wants to be an Influencer.  I mean, obviously, that's what they all want, but you just don't say it, you know?  It's so new money to talk about your Influencer ambitions.  

Tayshia for some reason decides to waste time clearing things up with Chasen and of course Chasen smooths things over with Tayshia.  Chasen goes to confront Ed and it feels like a terribly acted soap opera.  It's bizarre and lame and as Tayshia is on her way back to rejoin the guys, Ed shushes Chasen, who, to his credit, refuses to be shushed.  There's lots of throwing around the term "grown-ass man" and what determines what a man is.  Fortunately, Ben the Army vet tells us what a true man is (thank you Ben!):

1. Grown ass men DON'T argue.  So...they're just "yes men"?
2. They ARE kind.
3. They ARE humble.
4. They protect those who can't protect themselves (women and children, presumably.  Also, baby deer.  No wait, he probably hunts deer.  Ummm...puppies and kittens).
5. They don't **** on national TV about some stuff. (Didn't follow this one but obviously he's right because he's BEN and has white male privilege).

For all of the attempts that this show has made to increase diversity, have you noticed that the only dudes that have gotten ANY screen time on this date are the white guys?  Ivan's gotten some time (and he gets the rose), but the Joe (the doctor) hasn't gotten anything, nor have the other two black guys on this date.  Do you know why I don't know their names?  Because they haven't gotten any screen time!  So frustrating. Ben is also frustrated that he didn't get the rose especially since he so clearly defined manhood for us.  Chin up, Ben.

Cocktail Party

Apparently they're having the Rose Ceremony smack dab in the middle of this episode.  I always get a little out of sorts when they do this, especially in this challenging year, but I'm resilient so I should be fine.  Anyhoo, Chasen makes a speech about people questioning his character.  Boy Band Manager has again forgotten to button his shirt up all the way.  Who has time for such things when you're practicing your looks of shock at what people say?  Thankfully, Bennett has changed back into clothes.  Chasen calls out Ed, who stands by what he said.  Chasen--chill out.  Ed will go home soon enough. 

The thing that I didn't articulate before about Ed and Chasen's bickering is that it was a result of Chasen having the gall to describe Clare and Tayshia using the same adjectives.  Fortunately, Chasen has come up with a new adjective for Tayshia--smoke show. I don't think smoke show is an adjective, it seems more like a noun. The men openly snicker and Chasen looks genuinely hurt and confused by this reaction.  Another fun fact we learn from Bennett--Ed got a perfect score on his math SATs.  This is how I imagine this revealing itself when they met:

Bennett: My name is Bennett and I went to Harvard.  

Ed:  Oh yeah?  I'm Ed and I look like a Neanderthal because of my heavy forehead and beady eyes. But I got a perfect score on my Math SATs so I'm really smart.

Bennett:  That's great!  I didn't have to do well on the SATs because I went to a prep school and my dad bought a building at Harvard.  Also, how old are you?  Why are you still talking about your SAT scores now that you're in your early to mid-30s?  I can brag about Harvard for the rest of my life but you bragging about your SATs is odd.

Ed: I do it because I'm insecure.  Just so you know, I totally could have gotten into Harvard but I didn't want to.  In high school I had this girlfriend who was a model and she lived in Canada.  For immigration reasons she couldn't go to Massachusetts, so if she couldn't visit me there, I didn't want to go to school there, you know?  

Bennett:  Oh yeah, bro.  I totally get it.  I mean, I don't, because I had an actual girlfriend in high school who went to the sister school from my male prep school, but yeah. 

Ben pulls Tayshia aside and shovels horse s*** about how he loves that she wants somebody to be their authentic self and that, like, totally resonates with him?  For some reason Tayshia seems smitten. 

Ed and Bennett continue to mock Chasen, especially the fact that Chasen thinks smoke show is an adjective.  The other guys sitting nearby laugh and smile awkwardly because they also weren't aware that "smoke show" was a noun and not an adjective.

Ed again talks about Chasen to Tayshia and you can tell by her face that like us, she doesn't care about this.  Please stop talking Ed.  I hoped that I would like Ed if we got to know him and his beady eyes a bit more, but the more he talks the more I want him gone.  

Ed tells Tayshia that Chasen intimidated him last night (did they show this? If so, I totally missed it).  Tayshia pulls Chasen aside, Chasen admits he did intimidate Ed to Tayshia, which she's unhappy about.  Then Chasen pulls a, "I'm sorry if you felt threatened by me last night", again, not an apology and Bennett and Boy Band the busy bodies insert themselves into Chasen and Ed's conversation.  These guys are all such drama queens.

Rose Ceremony

Ben is the guy version of the woman that cries throughout her ITM that she's not sure if she's getting a rose.  It's exhausting.  Demar was the other guy that wasn't on the date.  I've also noticed that we've seen nothing of Eazy, so it's unclear if he's been edited out because of the allegations I mentioned last week or if the producers think that because they have a Black and Mexican lead, that they can ignore pretty much all of the other guys of color on this episode, as they already have.  Ed miraculously makes it another week as does Chasen.  

The two new guys from Massachusetts get sent home as does Straitjacket guy.  Chaesen is really focused on his new noun adjective.  Even if the guys weren't impressed, he's clearly very proud and he's sticking with it.

New Day, New Group Date

This is the cage match date they've been promoting all episode.  Forget what I said about Eazy, he's back.  I know Bennett's getting an odd edit overall, but he increasingly reminds me of Jared Kushner and I hate looking at him.  The guys meet Tayshia at the date and Tayshia is joined by two badass women.  I'm really glad to see that Joe is getting some more screen time because he's adorable and funny.  I hope this doesn't mean he's going home soon.

Chris tells the guys that they're going to be wrestling in front of a "live" audience and by "live" I assume he means the other guys.  

Sure enough, the spectators are the other guys.  Wells Adams is auditioning for the role of co-announcer this week.  It appears they've converted an indoor basketball court as the scene for tonight's event.  Tayshia paints oil onto the guys.  It's icky.  

It's unclear what the rules are but instead of mud wrestling, it's oiled-up men wrestling.  Everyone is too slippery to take down.  I won't bore you with the details because nothing really happened. As you'd expect, Chasen and Ed are matched up against each other and I'm expecting Ed to get his ass kicked.  Wait, Ed waits until now to slink over to Chris and tell him he has bad shoulders that "chronically dislocate" so, you know, he's super bummed, but he can't compete.  It's unclear why this was edited the way it was.  It's like Ed told the producers he didn't want to do it and they said, "that's fine, let Tayshia oil you up anyway, it's not a big deal."  And then he got matched up and he had to go over to Chris and say, "I told the producers I couldn't do this but I guess they didn't tell you?"

Again, the coming attractions have misled us.  Since Ed pussied out, Chris asks if anyone wants to "fight for Tayshia's heart" and THAT's the reason Mustache jumps in the ring.  I mean, he still shows off by jumping the fence, but he didn't jump unprodded as we were led to believe.  Anyway, Chasen faces off against Noah, and Chasen wins the match and apparently the entire event.  Again, this whole "competition" doesn't appear to have any real rules.  Which is fine because I'm ready to move on from this date.  There's still an after party and Tayshia invites Noah along and the other guys are pissed at Noah but dare I say, this blame is misdirected.  Chris asked if anybody wanted to step in and if Noah didn't volunteer, I guarantee somebody else would have, so as much as I hate to defend him, I don't think Noah's in the wrong here.  

It looks like the guys were allowed to shower off that disgusting oil.  Of course Noah pulls Tayshia away first so the guys are further pissed.  Noah and Tayshia make out and it's gross but she asks him to shave off his mustache and to his credit, he goes to shave it off.  Ben is gunning for the Group Date rose and I can tell you now his plan is going to backfire.  He wants to be the last one to talk to her and it's clear he's not going to get a chance to talk to her.  Even if he does get his chance, I think Noah is getting the rose if he does shave off the mustache.    

Tayshia shaves off Noah's mustache and they make out more and I lose my appetite again.  Noah looked 15 before and now looks 12.  Tayshia sits down with the guys to give out the rose and it's clear that Ben has lost his chance.  Ben asks if he can talk to her and Tayshia says, "Ben...the night is over."  OUCH.  Of course Tayshia gives the rose to Noah and the guys are, of course, pissed.   

Credits

In the credits, we see Brendan showing Tayshia how to ride a different kind of horse and it is so funny and endearing, this sentence doesn't do it justice but I am totally rooting for Brendan and I'm really glad he's emerging as a front runner.

Closing Thoughts

These are the things I've been thinking about:

1. I listen to a few Bachelor-related podcasts and none of the podcast hosts had the same reaction I did to Bennett and his robe.  Am I the only one that read his robe as creepy?
2. You know how hotels and resorts give their conference rooms names that revolve around a theme?  What theme do you think La Quinta uses?  Maybe desert birds?  Cactus names?
3. I was stalking Ed's IG to see if he's better looking there I could gain a better understanding of him and I found this:

Is that guy on the far right Ed?  If so, what happened?  At least in this picture he's generically good looking in a 90s boy band way but he looks like a different person.  Based on the comments, this picture was taken years ago.

Quarantine Tayshia: Week 1/5?

I don't know what to call show anymore.  Clayshia week 5?  Tayshia, Week 1?  It doesn't really matter.  In case you were hiding for some reason (seriously, no judgement), Clare ran off into the sunset with Dale last week and Tayshia is now the Bachelorette.  Now you're all caught up.

Clare who?

Most of the guys are psyched when Tayshia walks in.  Remember when Clare met Dale and got heart eyes?  It's the flip in that most of the guys now have heart eyes for Tayshia.  As they should because I've always really liked her (at least as far as I remember). No surprise, a lot of the guys start back pedaling and insist this is all working out for the best because Tayshia is more their type than Clare ever was.  Within the first few interactions that Tayshia has, we learn more about these guys than we ever learned when Clare was on. For example, Riley is a medical malpractice attorney.  I forgot he was an attorney (if I ever knew).  He also said he did personal injury, which gives off Ambulance Chaser vibes, but I'm going to push that aside.

Tayshia is talking to Brendan (not) from Menden when Chris pulls her away (already?).  The guys are alarmed, as they should be.  They have a bit of PTSD.  Chris tells her there are more guys coming in for her.  Fresh blood!  

New Meat

Kenny/Boy Band Manager needs to go.  To be honest, I don't pay too much attention to the new crop of guys, although Montel stands out because he's from Boston and is wearing...a salmon colored coat.  The guys are not welcoming to the new guys, it is quite awkward.  Wait, there's also Peter from FRAMINGHAM?!  I don't know Peter from Framingham, but I live right next door to him.  Noah seems like a POS but it could be the weird mustache.

Spencer, one of the new guyw, steals Tayshia away and of course the veterans hate him. Clearly he doesn't know his place.  Spencer gets the First Impression Rose and I think the veterans are going to smother him in his sleep.  Spencer gives me Derek vibes (who I think was on JoJo's season, but better known for his time on BIP).  Tayshia cancels the Rose Ceremony and all of the guys breathe a huge sigh of relief.

UGH, A Break in the Action

Chris mistakenly seems to think that we still care about Clare and Dale.  So he interrupts the regularly scheduled programming to sit down with them.  It's what you'd expect and it's a complete waste of time.  The weirdest moment is when Chris asks them what's next. Clare gleefully shouts "babies" and Dale's heart stops pretends he didn't hear her.  Poor guy.

First Group Date

Since the strip Dodgeball game went so well, for the first group date withTayshia, the guys are put in Speedos for some bizarre pool game.  Sigh.  Again, Fred Willard, RIP.  The guys play water basketball.  It's intense.  Blake still has PTSD from dodgeball game and he's determined he's not going back to the villa.  Kenny already has a nickname for her--T.   Spencer gets elbowed in the mouth but he's fine.  Blue Team wins.  As it happens, this is NOT the team that Blake is on and he's really pissed.  No matter, because we don't really see any scenes from the winner's BBQ and before we know it, all of the group date guys are back together again for the cocktail party.

The green team rejoins the winners and again, we learn way more about these guys than we did in the first few weeks.  For some inexplicable reason, Tayshia seems to like Kenny, despite the fact that he either can't button his shirts or refuses to.  I can't decide which is worst--probably the latter.  But he does call Spencer a dick and Riley calls Spencer "lunch meat".  I'm going to put this out there--I'm not sure Spencer is here for the right reasons.  Thankfully, Eazy finally gets a group date rose.  Tayshia does a good job of going around and saying nice things about a handful of guys and then giving the rose to one of them.  And yes, I have heard about the allegations against Eazy, which is disappointing.  It doesn't appear that Eazy's screen time has been cut since Reality Steve shared his news.

Jason Can't Get Over Himself

Jason for some bizarre reason can't get over Clare so he decides to leave.  I think what he really needs is a good therapist but I'm afraid he'd probably just fall in love with his therapist.  He goes to tell Tayshia goodbye.  Tayshia tells him that he's delusional if he thinks he's in love with Clare it's fine. Tayshia seems mildly disappointed but I think Tayshia dodged a bullet because we know from his one-on-one date with Clare that Jason has a lot of issues that he needs to work through.

Brendan from Not Mendon's One-on-One

In what might be one of the strangest dates we've seen, Tayshia and Brendan ride horses around the La Quinta resort.  Chris appears out of a mirage to offer them margaritas while they ride their horses.  Then he offers them ice cream, then cold coconuts(?).  Brendan accuses Chris of cock-blocking him.  He's complaining about not being able to kiss Tayshia but I think the horses are the real blockers here--how can you kiss somebody when you're riding horses?  They finally get a chance to make out in teh pool.  

Evening Portion

We haven't had enough opportunities to play the game I've been wanting to play all season long--the Big Reveal Game.  What deep dark secret is Brendan going to reveal to Tayshia?  Here are some guesses:

1. Parents are divorced so he's never seen a "good" example of a marriage.
2. He was a fat kid and was bullied (although I think Chasen already used this one).
3. He used to have glasses and was bullied.
4. His cousin died of an overdose.

Wrong!  His deep dark secret is HE'S divorced.  I know he's worried but Tayshia is also divorced, which he may have forgotten, so the good news for Brendan is he'll be fine.  

Brendan didn't do it for me initially, but he's cuter now that the camera is staying on him for longer than a split second.  He says him and his ex did "a counseling", which I assume means they went to counseling once but didn't like it.  He also says that his ex wasn't sure if kids were in her future, which could either mean two things--either she wasn't sure she wanted children (or she didn't want children with HIM), or she couldn't have children and he dumped her, which would be super-douchy of him.

Nevertheless, Brendan is relieved that they have so much in common.  Tayshia wants five kids(!).  Good Lord.  She might think she does, but that's a lot of kids.  I originally thought that Brendan was wearing a t-shirt, but it's some kind of patterned knit shirt(?).  And of course La Quinta sets off fireworks for them.  There's no sign of a musical act.  A few guys see the fireworks over the villas.  Tayshia is ready to marry Brendan, but clearly not in a Clare way.  She's still wants to assess the other options.

Next Week

The testosterone is in full effect next week and I'm here for it.  The closing credits show Ed (?) and Bennett (who's screen time has plummeted) talking about weirdo Noah's weirdo mustache.  It's unclear to me why Ed hasn't been sent home yet, even with all of the Clare drama.  Unlike Brendan, I don't think my perception of Ed is going to change with him getting more screen time.

Quarantine Clare: Week 4

 Wow.  What a week.  If there was a time that I needed this show as a distraction, it was this week.  As usual, I have no idea what to expect in this episode. I'm hoping the tone is more positive than it was last week but we'll see.

The episode opens with some of the guys going on and on about the previous night's lack of a date rose.  It's lame and not worth recapping.  Then we see Clare playing MASH writing in her journal.  Chris arrives on her doorstep for an intervention.  I don't remember seeing Chris swear before, and it's not mad swearing, it's "he's looking for honesty from Clare" swearing.  I sincerely hope that Clare doesn't get s*** from people about her checking her guys out pre-production because anybody that claims s/he wouldn't do that is a total liar.  Clare swears on her father's grave that her and Dale weren't in contact prior to production. Chris' expression is hard to read--it's unclear if he's pissed or happy.  He fake wipes a tear away as she gushes about how much she's in love with Dale and guilt trips her with the "congratulations, you've officially blown up the Bachelorette" line.  Chris, shut up.  

Chris Breaks the News

The guys are all sitting on the couch and I am blown away by the range of wardrobe choices.  Boy Band Manager is constantly in the same tank top while Anesthesiologist looks handsome in his crisp white button down.  Brendan from Mendon is wearing a mock turtleneck, which seems like an odd choice for Palm Springs IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SUMMER.  Though it is a dry heat, so I could see if he's used to humidity, it might feel chilly.  Okay, Brendan, I'll give it a pass  Dale sits awkwardly on his chair avoiding eye contact with everyone.

Chris walks in and tells the guys there won't be a cocktail OR Rose Ceremony tonight.  They are justifiably confused and Chris says he'll see the guys tomorrow and asks to speak to Dale outside, which increases the awkwardness.  Chris tells Dale to go get his woman and in his ITMs, Dale looks like the cat that got the canary.

Lady in Red

Clare is wearing her best pushup bra and might be in the dress she was planning on wearing for her final rose.  Listen, I love red dresses, but this dress is a LOT.  It's a weird look for a dinner date. It looks like it has flowers on it, but they look like sequin-y flowers.  It has a very Jessica Rabbit meets Black Swan feel.

Dale arrives and seems nervous.  Clare pours her heart out and again, it's a lot.  Dale is very hard to read during this, he has more of a poker face than I'll ever have.  We hear about how Clare's parents met and it's a weird yet kind of cute story, and Dale's parents met in a similar way.  Dale talks about his mom's death and how that changed him.  It's a very realistic and open conversation, way more honest than we usually see on this show.  

Oh Right, the Other Guys are Still There

I had forgotten about the other guys.  It's interesting how production is clearly screwing with them and telling them nothing.  Jason is getting on his soapbox about disrespect, Blake's eyes are in full crazy intense mode.  There is bizarre night vision footage of Blake and Boy Band talking.  Blake refuses to accept that Clare has chosen Dale.

Thankfully we're quickly back to Clare and Dale.  Clare pours her heart out and I give her a ton of credit because that took guts.  Clare has very strange facial expressions.  Dale says he's falling in love with Clare.  I don't understand what he sees in her but I'm not the one that has to be with her.  She is exhausting, I don't know how he deals with it.  She clearly wants to rip his clothes off.

Musical Guest!

Remember when we all swore we weren't going to watch "Listen to Your Heart" but we watched it anyways because it was in the early COVID days?  Well, the winners, Chris and Bri, obviously have it written in their contract that they have to appear as musical guests and here they are.  I can't believe these two are still together.  I'm sure it wasn't that hard to convince them to show up.  What else could they have been doing in the summer?

Morning After

So, spoiler alert, Clare and Dale had sex.  Dale is seemingly starting to realize what he's done.  They both swear up and down they didn't talk beforehand.  Dale doesn't seem to realize that production is shutting down.  Obviously the guys know that Dale has been gone for 18 hours, though who's counting?  Chasen (I have no idea why I remember his name) assures Crazy Eyes Blake and Eazy that Clare isn't that kind of girl to have an overnight date with Dale.  It's one thing to have sex with three guys in a row once you've known them two months.  Having sex with a guy that you just met two weeks ago is totally different.

Chris visits Clare and she is glowing.  Chris' facial expressions are odd.  Again, it's hard to read what he's thinking but he clearly doesn't seem convinced that Dale really loves her.  Chris knows how to call Dale's bluff though--he's going to tell Dale that the next natural step is to propose.  Immediately.  Clare is of course on board, even when Chris tells her that Dale is going to propose TONIGHT.  Clare's teeth seem to get larger with each episode.  She has giant teeth.  Not like a horse, I'm not trying to be mean, but she has a lot of big teeth.

Clare goes to break up with the rest of the guys.  They assure us they're going to demand answers.  Clare stammers out her explanation and the guys are speechless, except for Blake, who knows what she needs and knows that it's not Dale and is generally extremely condescending and I hope Tayshia cuts him quick.  Because they're guys, someone (it's unclear to me who because they don't show it, which is super odd, but it might be Boy Band?) asks her to apologize to the group.  Clare asks him what she's apologizing for.  Good for you, Clare.  F*** that guy.  Every single lead, whether it's Bachelor or Bachelorette, wastes all of the contestants' time.  There's only one "winner".  Furthermore, nobody who appears on this show wastes their time when they know that they next path is an appearance on BIP or additional Instagram followers so that's total BS.  After leaving Boy Band out to dry, a lot of the guys voice their support for Clare because they're not idiots.  

Jason is more fragile than I ever thought because he said he hit bottom when he gave his last hug to Clare but at least he didn't say, "I literally hit bottom", so there's that. That's what makes you hit bottom?  Poor, fragile Jason.  We do see that some of the previewed crying was as a result of letting the guys go and not because of Dale.  

Blake--f*** that guy too.  He seems to think that Clare owes him because he made the choice to research dementia and Alzheimer's.  Nobody asked you to do that.  He's convinced that she doesn't know what she wants, but he clearly does.  What an ass.

Dale Freaks Out

Poor Dale, he has no idea that he's now expected to propose to Clare.  Because once you blow up the Bachelorette, you need to put your money where your mouth is and they need to ride off into the sunset together and be deliriously happy for the rest of their lives.  Chris arrives to give Dale the good news.  Dang, Dale's villa is really nice.  

Anyway, Dale shares his feelings with Chris and Chris feigns interest but can't wait to tell him that Clare broke up with all of the other guys and is expecting a proposal.  Poor Dale, he looks shook.  

Now the guys are laughing at Dale and are relieved at the bullet they've just dodged.  Meanwhile, Clare is starting to freak out that Dale might not want to marry her, which is completely normal and I'm relieved that Clare isn't so out of touch that she doesn't realize this.  The production crew is perhaps nervous they have pushed things too far and ask Chris to step in AGAIN and feel Clare out.  Clare is so pretty without makeup. Chris tries to "reassure" her that of course Dale is going to show up.  Of course he is.  We see Dale holding the ring and he does not look happy.  That kind of stinks that they just give Dale whatever ring that Neil felt like giving him.  Of course, I'm sure Neal is pissed that for two seasons now he hasn't gotten any screen time.  

The Proposal?

Clare waits for Dale to show up. Chris emerges from the La Quinta Conference Center and forebodingly tells her he needs to tell her something.  Ugh, we see Crazy Eyes and Boy Band AGAIN laughing at Dale and playing both sides of how Clare doesn't know what she wants but she obviously expects a proposal. No.  Production wants a proposal.  

Chris is such an a**hole.  Production continues to f*** with Clare and Chris says he came out to tell her that they're all so proud of her.  Dude, f*** you.  Am I coming across as really angry?  I don't need to remind you guys what a rough week it's been.  I'm cautiously optimistic, but until I see that ring on Biden's Clare's finger, I'm not going to relax.  Even then--what if Biden wins Clare gets engaged and...I can't let my mind go there.  

Just like Clare, Dale shows up.  I knew production was just screwing with us.  He indeed proposes and Clare swoons.  She got what she always wanted and I'm super happy for her.  He tries to get up without putting the ring on her and she physically pushes him down and makes him put the ring on.  She clearly wants to take him straight back to her suite and screw him again.  It's clear that he's not as excited as her and I feel bad that there was clearly pressure for him to propose.

Mopey Mopes

Every time I see guys wearing different necklaces throughout this show I think, "they made an effort to pack more than one necklace".  Call me old fashioned.  I'm wondering if Chasen is going to be a front runner for Tayshia because he seems to be getting a lot of screen time this episode.  I don't see the appeal.  Chris shows up and apologizes and Blake appreciates his apology.  Finally, somebody is willing to apologize.  Boy Band throws Clare under the bus again about potentially reaching out to Dale before the show and Chris says it didn't happen.  Can I remind everyone that Blake admitted he'd reached out to Clare but there's been no discussion of that?

Chris reminds the guys that this show was about Clare and not them but gives them the good news that their journey is not over but doesn't provide further explanation.  While I'm psyched for Tayshia, this would have been a perfectly good time to launch BIP right there and then.  Chris tells the guys that they need to evaluate their "feelings" for Clare and whether they can heal in 24 hours or so.  My guess is that all of the guys will find the strength to move on.  Just a guess though.  As it turns out, they have mere hours to decide if they want to stay. Jason is still pissed that he shared so much.  Dude, move on.  With any luck Crazy Eyes will leave.

No shocker, everyone decides to stay but Blake and Jason are still bitter.  Chris shows up and tells the guys the new Bachelorette is arriving and the guys all beam ear to ear.  Brenden puts his hands on Anesthesiologist's (I'm going to start calling his Dr. because that's getting tedious to type out) shoulders and Doctor squeezes Brendan's knee.  Chris goes to get Tayshia.  

Tayshia Arrives

Boy Band is glad for the "clean slate" because obviously Tayshia is purer than Clare and didn't taint herself by cyberstalking the guys.  Uh-huh.  Tayshia looks amazing.  Tayshia is one of the most beautiful women that's ever been on this show.  I'm not sure how I feel about the dress but she still looks great in it.

The Drama Continues

Obviously it cuts off right as Tayshia opens the door to go in.  Next week is an early ATFR with just Clare and Dale.  I'm hoping this is only an hour long.  Meanwhile, more drama is promised as Tayshia meets all of the guys.  Stay tuned!