Becca's Season: Episode 1

Hello dear readers!  When we last left things this day seemed very far away, but alas it's here.  I have no doubt that we'll (and Becca) be forced to relive the Arie breakup quite a bit in this episode if not the entire season. And sure enough, the opening scenes are just that--Becca looking at Polaroids, the proposal, the infamous breakup.

We transition to winter.  How symbolic.  We see happy pictures of Becca's family before her dad died.  I have no recollection of Becca's sister from Hometowns.  I just double-checked and she didn't seem to be there.  Is it me or is that totally weird?  Oh, now we see her.  Holy crap.  That seems pretty shitty that the producers couldn't help the sister out with some hair and makeup.  No wonder the sister wasn't around, she clearly hates Becca.  I probably would too if I looked like the sister and my sister was Becca.  I'm sorry, I know it's mean to say catty things like that but did you see her? 

There's the additional weird filler of Becca in Minnesota getting the key to the city or state or some such nonsense.  And...of course the photo shoot.  And...of course of course of course, the pre-meeting with alums.

In this case the alums are Rachel, JoJo and Kaitlyn.  All lovely women.  They are contractually obligated to assure her that this process works.  At least on the Bachelorette side. And by "working", all three are still with their chosen suitors.  No actual weddings, but let's stay focused, shall we? Kaitlyn looks unenthusiastic at best, miserable at worst.  They are forced to toast to, "Let's do the damn thing."  Oy.

The Men
Finally we begin to meet some of the guys.  First up is Clay.  When I passed judgment reviewed the men last week, Clay seemed nice enough.  He's a football player so of course we see him doing football drills.  He says he doesn't fit the stereotype of most football players.  I'm unclear on what that stereotype is unless he's referring to Ballers.  But he doesn't seem so bad so until further notice I like him.

1. Garrett:  God this guy is annoying.  I know he loves Chris Farley and I was willing to withhold judgment last week, but now I'm passing judgment. 
2. Jordan:  Jordan is a model and "his brand is the pensive gentlemen".  Direct quote, people.  Direct quote.  If you think modeling is easy, Jordan assures us it isn't.  It's more than being "ridiculously good looking".  Again, direct quote.  Here I thought being unemployed and living in a basement with my family while our house is under construction was taxing and stressful.  Nope.  I should be more grateful.  Now I know it could be worse--I could be modeling. Thanks for putting that into perspective for me.
3. Lincoln: Lincoln has an English accent so he could speak absolute gibberish and it would be okay.  It sounds English but perhaps it isn't?  It sure as hell isn't American.  But he came to the States from Nigeria?   Am I having a stroke or are we not getting the full story here?  Is that a Nigerian accent?
4. Joe:  Joe's the grocery store owner.  They force him to go through the produce section and pretend to throw out produce that's gone bad. He's clearly insecure and terrified of dying alone.
5. Jean Blanc: This is the cologne guy.  Jean likes to judge people because you can tell a lot about someone by their watch and their tie. Well Jean, maybe not everyone is loaded like you.  Did you ever think of that?  Yes, I'm ornery today.  Ew, he wants to blow her nose away.  Poor choice of words.
6. Colton: Red flags right away in that he's wearing an overly large cross.  So potential Jesus Freak.  One thing I didn't mention in last week's judgment session is he dated Aly Raisman. He brags about how he was born to play football and then mutters something about a career-ending injury so he no longer plays football. And for the record, Ben would probably disagree that a dog can't be the love of your life.

Becca's Arrival at the Mansion
Becca arrives at the mansion and has the obligatory conversation with Chris where he asks her if she's afraid she's going to screwed over yet again.  Becca attempts to change the slogan to "let's get this ball rolling."  And the first limo pulls up.

The Guys
I feel like I need to be drinking for this but it's 10 am on a Wednesday and I don't have mimosa or Bloody Mary fixings. 

1. Colton: Colton's the first one out of the gate and even though he's wearing cuff links, he forgot his tie. He did bring some sort of popper-thingie.  Yes, that's the technical term.
2. Grant: Grant's the electrician. Grant brings up Becca getting dumped and then suggests they not talk about that.  I wouldn't have opened with that myself but he obviously won't be the only one.
3. Clay: Oh Clay.  So corny, he seems very nervous.  I want to like this guy, even if he might not be the brightest bulb.  I should have used that joke for the electrician.
4. Jean Blanc: He makes her say, "Let's do the damn thing" in French. Also, for some reason, even though we've already seen this guy, I keep thinking, "who's this guy?"  Not in a "oh he's hot" kind of way, but in a "who's this guy" kind of way.  Is he a two-face?
5. Connor: He's the second guy to mention Arie and to make matters worse reminds her by getting down on one knee.  He also wearing bracelets. Cut him.  Tonight.
6. Joe: Joe doesn't make an impression.  He totally choked.
7. John: John is as awkward as you'd expect from his picture.
8. Leo: Leo arrives in his man bun but shakes it out.  Despite my disappointment about Leo, Becca's sister desperately could use some tips.  I know, I know, I'm a bitch.
9. Jordan:  Jordan has to stay if only because he's entertaining.  It's super weird how he goes from buttoning his jacket to being "on".  Did you catch that?  The other guys start snickering immediately when they see him.
10. Rickey: Rickey's intro doesn't even get any screen time so he's probably gone tonight.
11. Alex: Again, not a lot of screen time.
12. Nick: Nick is wearing a racing suit.   Again, guys.  This is why you're single.  Don't bring up the ex.  As I compare these guys to what I wrote last week, it seems my initial gut reaction was dead on.  You're welcome.  Leo just went  up a few points in my book because he totally gets it.
13. Mike: Another douche. Brings a cutout of Arie.
14. Garrett: drives up in a mini van filled with kids stuff.  He doesn't share his Chris Farley impression.
15. Blake: You might remember Blake from the After the Final Rose special. If you do, you have a better memory than me.  He sidles up on a bull. Sorry, ox. This is the guy that still wants his independence.  
16. Lincoln: He brings her cake.  I confirmed he did grow up in UK even though his bio said he went to Boston.  I think we all know that is NOT a Boston accent.
17. Darius: Another one with little to no screen time for his introduction.
18. Banjo guy: for a guy that was on the live show with a banjo, he doesn't make much of an entrance here.
19. Christon: He's super hot but then I'm reminded he's the dunker.
20. Wills: Meh. I don't know why, this guy just doesn't do it for me.
21. Jason: He still looks like a db.
22. Kamil: Total tool.  First he has her come to him and says you need to meet people halfway.   THEN he says it should be more like 60/40.  And he's the 60.  Jackass.  Becca seems to think so too.
23. Jake: Dude forgot his socks and Becca knows him.  He seems to be as annoying as he looks.  
24. Trent: NOOOOO. If only because he's one of those people that still uses literally incorrectly.  
25. I need to pause here and say I LOVE JORDAN.  Keep talking. 
26. David: This is the guy that came in the chicken suit?  The rich 25 YO who's a "venture capitalist"?  And if you listen to the Bachelor Party podcast, then you know it was the other Bekah that was "Beh-kaw".   Jordan is beside himself.
27. Chris: Chris brings a gospel choir to impress Becca's uncle.  I don't think Becca's uncle's church has gospel music.  He leaves Becca with the choir, which is odd.

I seem to have missed a few because I think Chris said there were 28, and including my comments on Jordan, I only have 26.  Chris reminds Becca about the First Impression Rose and sends her into the house.

Let the Games Begin

Connor's the first guy to steal Becca away.  Jordan's impressed with Connor's moves. Clay's up next and they play with...clay.  They make clay figures of each other.  Did you know Christon is a dunker?  Because I'm not sure if you know that.  Then the rest of the guys come out and show off their peacock feathers and their basketball moves.   They don't show it, but I'm sure Christon is annoyed by this. 

Next up is a montage of sorts as Becca gets to know the various guys.  Becca seems to be falling for all of Blake's lines.  Becca so far thinks that all of the guys are here for the right reasons.  Unfortunately, she might be wrong.  Chris (the contestant, not the host) is already stirring the pot and tells the guys that he's friends with one of Chase's exes and she told Chris that Chase just wants to hang out with his boys and revamp his marketing company.  Like, WTF, right?!  He asks the other guys if they think he should talk to Chase.  Because they love drama as much as the next guy, they encourage Chris to talk to Chase.  And hope he does it in a place where they can spy on the conversation.

After the break Chris pulls Connor aside.  Connor's about a foot taller than Chris. Shockingly, Connor dismisses his ex as crazy and assures Chris he's here for the right reasons.  He seems to start to say something like, "women are bat shit crazy bitches", but he catches himself in time.  It's unclear if Chris is appeased by this conversation.

Chase thinks the best way to deal with this is to tell Becca before Chris can.  His explanation makes no sense--he says he doesn't know what the text said but he's not that guy she described in the text.  You can tell Becca's inner voice is saying, "danger, danger, Will Robinson".  Then he gets up and suddenly leaves.  To talk to Chris.  Dude, you're handling this all wrong.  Then he brings Chris back. To help explain.  As you can imagine, this backfires.  Poorly played, Chase.  It only gets more awkward from there.  Miraculously she doesn't show Chase the door then and there.

Next Becca grabs Jake.  I thought he was a stalker but according to Becca, while she recognized him, he's never expressed any interest in her. He doesn't even seem to remember when they first met. She's ready to send him home but before she does that, Jake insists there are some things he needs to say.  He essentially blames her for having a different viewpoint of him but assures her he's had, and again, I quote, "a very transformative year" and he's a "new Jake".  She's not persuaded.  I could be reading too much into it but it almost seems like he's there for the other guys.  But maybe that's me?  In his exit interview, Jake tries to play it off cool.  Maybe he's a new Jake because he's going to try and be hetero?  I must know more.

First Impression Rose
With Becca throwing the gauntlet down with her first dismissal, the guys know she's not here to mess around.  Some guys seem to respect this, others seem ready to piss their pants. From there we see another montage of conversations.  The guys look nervously at the First Impression Rose and they all look crestfallen when Becca pulls Garrett aside to give him the rose.  She's already smitten.  She even says that word.  They're giddy.  We'll see if the First Impression Rose streak continues.

Chris walks in and and the energy in the room drops yet again.  Becca gives her scripted first night speech about making tough decisions, thanking the guys for joining her on her journey, yadda yadda yadda.  The guys freak out but sadly there aren't any tears.  Jordan says his going home wouldn't be fair to Becca and I'd add that it wouldn't be fair to us either.

First Rose Ceremony
As we head into the Rose Ceremony while the sun rises, Chris is annoyed that Chase brought him into his drama with Becca even though he's the one that started the drama.  Becca assures the guys that if they don't get the rose, it's not because they're not amazing.  Obviously it is.

Does it really matter who got the rose beyond the first five?  Rickey, who got zero limo-exit time, gets the third rose.  Proving that I still can't figure out this show's editing.  Let's focus on those who didn't.  Multiple guys, specifically Jordan and Leo, are annoyed that the guy in the chicken suit got a rose before them.  Phew, Jordan here's for at least another week.  Jordan will clearly be on the two-on-one.

There's one rose left. Please give it to the grocery guy.  He seems nice enough. Although that accent.  Sadly, it goes to Chris the Pot Stirrer.  Those that didn't receive a rose: grocery guy, electrician, Chase, Kamil, Christian, and Darius. Guys, we hardly knew thee.

Kamil is shattered.  And really, really embarrassed.  Not a little embarrassed, a lot.  Chase will be plotting Chris' demise until he's eliminated in the next few weeks. 

Coming Attractions
It's going to be a great season guys!  Chris continues to stir the pot, Jordan continues to drive everyone nuts, and Lincoln may have a dark side.  Oh, and Colton is a virgin.  Has there been a guy virgin on the show previously?  One doesn't come to mind.  But I told you he was a Jesus freak!  Plus lots more drama. 

And we end things with some more Jordan-isms.  And this day can only be good from here.

Becca's Season: Who are the men?

ABC released the pictures of Becca's men. Let's review and make knee-jerk judgments, shall we? It feels cruel to do this for the women in a Bachelor season but perfectly acceptable to do it to the guys. Actually before we do that, can we agree that ABC could have done better than, "Let's do the damn thing?" as this year's theme? I realize Becca said this but my guess is she wants to un-say it since it now follows her everywhere. Now that that's rant over, let's get to it.

1. Tom Brady Alex: Alex is Tom Brady's double and claims to be a "construction manager", whatever that is, but seems to be independently wealthy as he owns a boat and travels to the West to go skiing. Unless construction managers make bank. Alas, I'm not sure how often he actually boats since he takes it to the beach. Last time I checked, you don't see many boats at a beach. Usually they're at docks. So perhaps not the brightest bulb, but at least he's good looking in his picture.
2. Blake: "Blake considers himself a modern romantic who believes that two people need to be independent in order to truly love each other, so he's looking for his equal match." In other words, he still wants his freedom.
3. Chase: Chase's first problem is his name is Chase. He's 27 and an advertising VP. Again, vague job title and if he's really a VP, either he's at one of those places where it's pretty easy to get a VP title (which is possible if he's in advertising), or his parents own the place and he was given this job. Chase has a look about him that suggests, "there for the wrong reasons." 
4. Chris: Chris is only 30 but looks older than that to me. He "comes from a family of successful entrepreneurs that retired in their 40s, and he's determined to do the same!" My guess is you're nowhere close if you listed Sales Trainer as your job! 
5. Christian: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 
6. Christon: Christon is a former Harlem Globetrotter but is now a professional dunker. I have no idea what that means. He has pretty eyes but dude, lose the earrings. I didn't realize kids still did that. 
7. Clay: Clay is apparently a pro football player who loves hip-hop AND country music. He's so diverse! He seems nice enough. 
8. Colton: Insufferable. He was named after the Indianapolis Colts (who does that?) and helps children fight cystic fibrosis. Not through medicine, but through his charity. He's 26. If you're running a charity at 26 I suspect you're a trust fund baby. I'm tempted to keep Colton around if only to see his parents and if they're total a-holes. 
9. Connor: Lots of guys with C names. Yet another athlete. Is this Becca's type? "Connor is a risk-taker, whose health and fitness is his #1 priority." Huh? 
10. Darius: Finally, a new letter. Darius seemingly has a real job as a pharma sales rep. I don't know if he used the term "fun-loving" to describe himself but that word needs to be banished.
11. David: David's cute until you read that he's 25 and a venture capitalist. So obviously he's an entitled brat. He loves guac but hates avocado. Ohhhh he's soooo complex! (Note: I like pickles but hate cucumbers, so I get it. If he wasn't 25 and a venture capitalist I might be more charmed.)
12. Garrett: I googled Garrett because I was curious where in CA he was from and found some potential spoilers. He loves Chris Farley, despite the fact that Garrett was 9 when Chris Farley died. Some might snicker but admittedly I loved Chris Farley so I could potentially look past this.
13. Grant: I want to like Grant. He's an electrician (a profession that I'm mulling pushing encouraging my daughters to pursue because by the time they're old enough college will be totally unaffordable). And he's clearly a very successful electrician (or his family is) because Danville is not a cheap town. Please don't be a d-bag.
14. Jake: Jake's eyes are too close together and he has very large teeth. He will clearly ride the fact that he's from Minnesota too, just like Becca. Like, OMG! 
15. Jason: Where do I start with this guy? First there's the overly gelled hair. Next, "A successful banker with a heart of gold." What does that even mean? Also, he belts out Disney tunes? Weird. Stop trying so hard, no one's buying it, dude. 
16. Jean Blanc: Jean Blanc either needs to stand up to the producers or is a complete weirdo, because despite that the fact that he's Haitian, has an MBA and has worked in both engineering and finance, they focus on his extensive cologne collection. Ew. 
17. Joe: I'm intrigued by Joe because he's a grocery store owner. Interesting. I'm going to hope that he didn't write his bio himself with lines like, "Successful in produce, but unsuccessful in love, Joe's ripe and ready to be picked by the Bachelorette." 
18. John: I think we can all agree that John won't last long. 
19. Jordan: John may or may not last long but if there's a God(dess), he'll last longer than this guy. His bio screams insecurity with his mention of his good looks and his 4:24 mile. Uh, well done, dude. Who knew that Crystal River, FL was such a hotbed of male model work? 
20. Kamil: Oh, Kamil. Kamil listed "social media participant" as his claim to fame despite competing with Jordan for modeling work. "Just don't ask Kamil to get his hands too dirty, he has a terrible fear of spiders!" Don't tell him that spiders can show up indoors too. He also appears to be wearing a chambray shirt. 
21. Leo: When I first saw Leo's picture on my phone, I think what I wanted to see was Jason Momoa. Further scrutiny now has me on the fence. I'll withhold further judgment until next week. Generally I don't like long hair like this unless it's Jason Momoa, but it does look healthy, so that's in his favor.
22. Lincoln: Like Jean Blanc, Lincoln also immigrated to Boston when he was little. He's good looking but his bio is terrible. 
23. Mike: I know why I thought Leo looked better initially--because I saw Mike first and was grossed out. As a result, Leo was a definite improvement. No way this guy makes it past week two. I'd even wager he gets cut the first night. He also seemed to name his dog after Tim Riggins, which...I can't say I blame him because Taylor Kitsch is super hot. 
24. Nick: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So many things wrong here but since he seems to enjoy alliteration, we'll go with total tool. 
25. Rickey: Oh Rickey. You seem like a teddy bear. But you want a best friend first and a lover second, which is a little concerning. 
26. Ryan: Ryan's from the Cape but plays in a band with his family. So there's that but he reminds me of Wells and I always thought Wells was adorable. I have a good feeling about Ryan. 
27. Trent: Obviously they culled quite a few guys from their Florida casting call. Trent is also a supposed model who I pray is better looking on TV because he's not doing it for me here. However, to his credit, he's more specific than Jordan about his type of modeling work--catalogs and romance novel covers. 
28. Wills: Last but not least is Wills. At least he has a real career. I don't see Wills standing out much. 

Only one more week to go!!!

The Bachelor: After After the Final Rose

I'm finally watching this, what three-ish weeks later?  The beginning is a lot of filler that we saw in the previous episode.  After Arie finally left, they clearly forced Becca to do interviews and lots of shots of her crying.  Arie keeps saying how difficult it was for him to do this to her.  They film Becca going home.  Arie meets up with Jason because he's the only one that has previously pulled this crap.

Arie goes to meet up with Lauren but has a "panic attack" in her driveway.  What if things don't work out with Lauren?  He would have gone through this for nothing.  Poor Arie.  The producers continue to force Becca to film her looking at pictures and sit in on interviews. It's painful to watch.

We are also forced to watch Arie's pathetic "panic attack" as he visits Lauren.  If he was worried about Lauren's reaction, he doesn't need to because she basically jumps into his arms when she opens the door.  Still Lauren claims she has a bunch of questions.  He tells Lauren he's totally over Becca, which will probably suck for Becca to hear.  Lauren forgives Arie and says she had always wished he'd come back.

The Ladies Share Their Perspective
When we come back from the break, some of Becca's friends are on the couch to share their thoughts.  None of them blame Lauren, they blame Arie.  They call Arie manipulative and cold. Chris asks the women about them televising the breakup and not a huge shocker, they are fine with it.  And they hope that Lauren runs for the hills ASAP.

Becca's Time
After the commercial break, Chris commends Becca for coming back on the show, although we all know that she was contractually obligated to, whether she wanted to or not.  She's obviously nervous.  Chris asks for her opinion on them filming the breakup and she has rehearsed her script and says it was painful, but she signed up for this and it gave her closure.  We all know that's BS but she's in a tough spot.

Arie was shady from the beginning--he didn't tell Becca until a week after that he'd reached out to Lauren, but Becca wasn't concerned at the time.

Arie finally comes out and Becca actually hugs him, which is big of her.  This is so awkward.  Essentially, Arie didn't have the balls to break up with Becca until he was sure that Lauren was going to take him back.   She then asks why it took him so long to tell her that he had reached out and he says that he didn't want to be rush his decision.  Dude, that wasn't the question.  He then says how hard it was for him because she was in Minnesota. This gets a response from Becca and the audience.

For some inexplicable reason Kendall is sobbing on Bekka's shoulder.  Perhaps they're tears of relief from being the 2nd runner up?  Arie apologizes for proposing and Becca tells Arie she forgives him.  She's a better person than me, that's for sure.

Jason and Molly
Jason and Molly are forced on the show since up until now, Jason's been the only one to do this sort of thing.  Jason assures us Arie is a nice guy but no one buys it.  I'm assuming they were paid pretty well for this appearance unless as a couple from the show the have a perpetual contract that obligates them to show up on these shows for the rest of their lives.

Arie and Lauren
Arie's back, apologizing but not really. Lauren comes out and is forced to relive her last few days on the show.  Lauren was initially unimpressed by Arie's outreach and she asked Arie if Becca knew he was reaching out.  We now know that he lied about that to Lauren since he didn't tell Becca until a week after.  Lauren's reserved personality continues to shine through.  Arie reminds us that we don't understand what he's going through.  Chris asks the hard hitting question of how they're going to get through this.  And then we watch perhaps the most awkward proposal in Bachelor history. Chris halfheartedly congratulates them.

Bachelorette Announcement
We all know at this point that it's Becca.  Becca's friends come up and they all sit on the couch together.  Do you remember when Rachel met some of her guys on this episode?  And it was totally weird?  Well, apparently the producers didn't think it was weird because Becca's meeting some of her guys right now. 

Fresh Meat
I didn't catch the first guy's name but he's adorable, despite the bow tie.   The next guy,  Chase--NOOOO.  He reminds me of Rachel's choice.  OMG, they're going to constantly remind us what she went through.  Becca doesn't seem to like this guy as much either. UGH, the next guy shows up with a fucking banjo (and a bow tie).  Which is a shame, because he's totally hot.  The next guy brings up Arie AGAIN.  I didn't catch his name either.  How long are we going to have to do this for?  The next guy brings a horse.  His name is Blake.  Finally Becca's put out of her misery.

The Bachelorette premiere is only two months away but that feels like forever!  See you soon!

The Bachelor: Week 9

It's Fantasy Suite week.  No wait, the Overnights.  Peru seems to have paid good money for this publicity and Arie recites the reasons why Peru is so amazing.  Kendall's up first this week.

Note: I'm watching way past the finale airing, but I never watched it, so I'm watching it now.

Kendall's Date
Arie's hanging out in the middle of the desert.  Kendall's feeling the pressure to be ready to get married.  Arie sagely tells us that dune buggying is like a relationship.  You're such a tool, Arie.  Then they go sand surfing, which looks really fun.  Ha!  Kendall says if Arie proposed to her today she'd say no.

We all know by now that Kendall should be going with her gut on this.  Kendall's tired of men dating her because she's "interesting" and "quirky" and Arie's said several times how "interesting" Kendall is, so she's seeing the signs of this.  Kendall tells Arie she feels like she can trust Arie with "her", but this is clearly a load of crap.  Before everything went down, it was obvious that Kendall wasn't going to be in the final two.  Kendall has expressed reservations about the Fantasy Suite but I think we all know she's forgoing her individual room, because as we found out from Winter Games, it seems that only the North Americans forgo their individual rooms.

Arie's so eager to hear her answer, he's like a puppy.  He's relieved to find out he'll be getting laid tonight. His laugh is like nails on chalkboard to me now.

The day after Kendall of course feels amazing.  All of her fears have been dismissed.  Oh Kendall...

Lauren's Date
Arie and Lauren get on a plane to look at geoglyphs. Arie complains about Lauren's walls. Lauren shares her insecurities and misgivings again.  Lauren says she's thinking of walking away and Arie's annoyed by that.  He spends so much time reassuring her--what's her problem?  He of course doesn't acknowledge that she is still one of three women remaining and that's why she's feeling insecure.

Arie tells her he loves her and would hate to lose her.   This sets him up to then present the Fantasy Suite card.  His ploy works because of course she agrees.

The next day they're as much in love as ever.  Lauren's very pretty without all that makeup.

Becca's Date
It's weird to watch this knowing what happens. She's going to be a great Bachelorette.  They talk about how they have no concerns about each other.  Then they talk about doing the long distance thing and Becca's cool with it because while it's hard, she did it with her ex but says it was kind of annoying that she always went to him.  She then points out that if they were together at the end, presumably one of them would move (duh) and he says she could move down to him whenever she was ready.  Of course she's the one that would have to move.  Becca keeps going on about how happy she is.

The evening portion of the date is more of the same.  While everyone else got tables and floors, Becca gets a yurt.  Arie's three worries were not finding someone at all, someone not loving him back and (foreshadowing) picking the wrong person.

It's hard to focus on the conversation because it seems like there are a lot of background animals/bugs.  It's either birds or ginormous crickets.  Arie pulls the same "I'm not falling in love with you, I am in love with you" shtick.  And he pulls out the card.

A yurt would give this contraption too much credit.  It's a tent.  I'd feel trapped in that thing.  It's so small.

The next morning Becca obviously didn't bother to pack PJs or clothes for the next day because she's lounging around in her kimono.  They have a picnic breakfast in the desert.

Back at the production site, Becca's crazy ex boyfriend has decided to show up and claim his "girl" back because Becca's clearly just a piece of property.  To his credit, he's well dressed.  Becca's walking around blissfully unaware of this.  The guy shows up at Arie's place to claim his property.  We finally get a name--Ross.

Arie and Ross have a super weird conversation.  Apparently Arie's look of confusion is his "angry" look.  Ross seems to be sweating through his suit, which is gross.

Ross finally goes to see Becca, which he should have done in the first place.  She doesn't seem too surprised to see him, so she must have been given a heads up.  She's willing to talk to him for a few minutes but she doesn't invite him into her room.  Shes just keeps saying "What the f***" over and over.  He doesn't seem to want the cameras there but I'm not sure what he was expecting.  This is a waste of time and clearly filler.  She's pissed that he spoke to Arie.  Becca humiliates him and he finally leaves.

Becca goes to talk to Arie and apologize for her stalker ex showing up.  Arie's being bitchy, which isn't fair to Becca.  Everything's in question for him. 

Rose Ceremony
Before the Rose Ceremony, Arie sits down with Chris and evaluates each of the women.  Arie's makeup looks terrible.

Arie could not be any less enthusiastic about this rose ceremony.  What's with the horse tied up to the tree?  Before handing out the house he pulls Kendall aside AGAIN.  WTF?  It turns out he's pulling her aside to break up with her.  He essentially tells her she was a great lay but he's just not feeling it.  She doesn't seem too broken up about it but it's awkward.  Kendall gets a little teary in the car but we all know that she dodged a bullet.

Arie, Becca and Lauren stand awkwardly in a circle and talk about next week. We all know what happens by now...

The Bachelor: Week 10

Even though I still haven't finished last week's episode, I had to skip ahead to see this because otherwise it was going to be too hard to avoid news and social media.  So here we go!  Chris promises us that Arie will be the most controversial Bachelor ever. 

The scene opens with Arie wandering the streets of Peru and talking about Becca and Lauren.  Lauren "writes" in her "journal" while sipping champagne.  When I used to do stuff like that I was usually sobbing and hammered.  I just said too much, didn't I?  Arie's family is in town.  Arie pulls his dad aside to get some wisdom.  His dad is neither wise nor helpful. 

Lauren's Day
Lauren is meeting the family first.  Do the producers help the contestants out with flowers and presents or do they need to do it for themselves?  Lauren tells his family that each date has been amazing.  Arie's mom looks different from last time. We see Arie's brother and sister(?).  Lauren asks the sister-in-law what it's like to marry into this family.  Since she asked this question in front of everyone, she can't be too honest but leaves it at, "there's never a dull moment." 

Arie's dad pulls Lauren aside to grill her.  Dad asks Lauren if she has any reservations and she gushes about Arie and is worried that she's going to have a second engagement that won't work out again.  Arie talks to his brother and sister and talks about how needy Lauren is.  The sister asks if Lauren's somebody that you could talk to all night long and Arie has to think about this.  So the answer is "no". 

Next up is mom threatening Lauren to not break Arie's heart.  Lauren starts crying.  Mom is sympathetic to how effed-up this whole process is but in general Mom's not very comforting.  This seems like a unaffectionate family.  Dad's pretty closed off too.  But as the family discusses her after she left, they really liked her. 

Becca's Day
My guess is most of my readership are Russian bots.  But boy was I psyched when my mother-in-law called me last night to see who I thought was going to win.  Apparently she's somehow gotten sucked into this show.  I love you Judy!  Since you asked, and as I told you last night, I think he picks Becca initially, but ends up dumping her for Lauren.  Becca's the one that's better on paper, but he clearly seems drawn to Lauren.  Of course, it could go the either way--he could pick Lauren but then realizes he has nothing in common with her and can't hold a conversation and dumps her for Becca.

Arie's nervous about how today is going to go.  The family assures Arie they'll be nice to Becca.  I knew that he told both Becca and Lauren that he loved them, but I didn't know if it had happened yet.  Obviously it happened already for Becca.  Since I'm watching this before I finished last week, that was surprising. 

The family has the exact same conversations with Becca that they had with Lauren.  The family seems to like Becca better.  She's certainly more outgoing, so I could see that they would like her better.  The family looks concerned and they seem to not want to like Becca.  Mom shares her conversation with Lauren with Becca, which I'm sure Becca loved.  As with yesterday, Becca gushes.

Mom tells Arie she loved both women.  They talk about Lauren's low self-esteem and neediness.  Mom starts to tell him who to pick but either stops or it's edited out.  Dad tells Becca that he can't tell who Arie likes more.  Dad seems more interested in understanding Becca's interactions with Lauren than how she feels about Arie.  It's clear Becca doesn't want to talk about this:

Dad: So I bet you met Lauren and got to know her a little bit.  Did you and Lauren get along?
Becca: (not looking at dad AT ALL): Uh, yeah, I got to know her.  She's an uppity bitch a great girl, just so kind.  But we're so different so I made friends with the other women that were also bubbly and not uppity and judgmental.  Have I mentioned how much I love Arie?

Dad continues to tell Becca what a hard choice Arie has to make but he's good with whomever he chooses.  Becca's super annoyed when she discusses this in the interview, as she should.  Dad tells Becca it was lovely to meet her.  Her conversation with Arie's brother goes down the same path.  As does her conversation with his sister and another guy, maybe another brother.

By the end, Becca's concerned and disappointed.  She doesn't think that went well at all.  Arie and Becca's time ends weirdly.  If they talk before she heads out, we don't see it and she just...leaves.  Arie asks his family what they think.  If you listen to Arie, he defends Lauren in a "you guys just to get to know her better.  She has flashes of personality" whereas with Becca, he can articulate her qualities and she seems better on paper.  But there's clearly something with Lauren that he likes.  ARGH, now I don't know how he'll go.  Maybe he picks Lauren but then realizes what a mistake it was and goes for Becca? 

The entire family says Becca's a better choice.  Okay, I'm feeling better that he picks Becca but dumps her, especially going with Becca's comments that she had more friends.  That's not what she said specifically, but it's implied.  Arie's hopeful he's going to have more clarity in the next few days.

Before they go to break, Caroline has joined Chris on stage.  He asks her if her opinion of Arie has changed.  Obviously it hasn't, but she seems to have backtracked on whether she knows what happened or whether it's a rumor. Obviously she knows, so this must have been language the producers threatened her with.  Caroline isn't very articulate and looks extremely uncomfortable.  Thankfully Chris lets her go.

Lauren's Last Date
Lauren and Arie are going to Machu Piccu in their own train.  Wait, did Lauren say that she had met Arie before?  If that has come up before I've forgotten.  Arie continues to reassure us that Lauren is lovely, you just need to get to know her.  They spend the day at Machu Piccu telling each other, "I'm lucky" "No, I'm lucky!"  It's nauseating.  They continue to have stilted conversations but discuss how great meeting the family went.  Arie is still confused.  Lauren has a speckle in her eye and Arie seems to consider that a quirk.  It's these quirks that made him fall in love with her.  Oy.

Lauren is dropping her guard a little bit.  Arie is clearly smitten.  She probably feels relaxed since she doesn't know he pulled a Ben and told two women he loved them.  Lauren bares her soul to Arie and he doesn't walk off this time but in true Arie form, he doesn't really respond initially.  Arie asks her if she's thought about what their daily life would be like outside of this and she outlines a regular day, which is as boring and regular as our lives are--get up, have coffee, take the dogs for a walk, go to work, come home, have dinner, go to bed.  This is just what Arie imagined too!  OMG, what a coincidence!  Arie clarifies he's looking to pro-create ASAP.

Lauren rationally thinks that they wouldn't have had their conversation if he wasn't going to pick her.  Arie is more confused than ever and thinks that he'd pick Lauren if he had his druthers.  Before the break, we now find Bekah and Sienne on the couch.  Like Caroline, they look uncomfortable and answer the questions as vaguely as they can.

Becca's Last Date
Arie's still hoping for clarification.  They walk around some city in Peru.  At dinner they talk about what's going to happen.  He seems more reserved than he has been.  Becca gets a dig in at Lauren and how Lauren's probably more like the other women he's dated in the past.  Becca feels Arie out about where he stands and he tells her he's still conflicted, which I'm sure is concerning to her.  Becca asks him if he has any additional questions for her and he says "no".  Becca tries to make us think that she's feeling pretty good about where her and Arie are at this point.  She reads him a letter that she "wrote".  Oh and it's a scrapbook of sorts.  Where do they get these pictures from?  Did the producers print them out for her, or do they take them and drop them by the house, unrequested?  Is this Becca's way of killing time since she's presumably sequestered? 

Poor Arie, he feels overwhelmed.  Oh Arie.  He shares his pros and cons list of both women with us.  Now Chris is joined on the couch by of course, Jason and Ben, since Arie's pulled from both of their seasons.  Ben says in hindsight that telling two women you love them probably wasn't a great choice.  Jason must be so psyched to finally not be the only one to change his mind, even if we're referring to what Arie does as "pulling a Mesnick".  I didn't watch Jason's season so I don't have an opinion of him, but there's always been something about him I didn't really like, but honestly it's more a feeling than anything concrete.  That being said, he's one of the what, two, success stories from the Bachelor side?  So he has that going for him.  So I guess I do have an opinion of him.

Jason reminds all of us that being the Bachelor is hard and you can't understand it unless you go through it.  Chris is gleeful about sharing the fallout with us.  As am I, I'm not going to lie. It's going to be like watching a train wreck.  And we won't be able to take our eyes off of it.

Decision Time
Arie again talks about the two women.  Are we going to see him picking out the ring?  Similar to earlier with Lauren, we see Becca "writing in her journal", getting ready and talking about how devastated she'd be if Arie didn't pick her.  Lauren says the same.  The women are all dressed up and ready to go and Arie's still wandering the streets of Peru in his jeans and polo shirt.  Neil Lane gets his contractually obligated appearance.  Arie tries to engage with Neil, but Neil clearly doesn't care.  It's unclear if Neil knows or cares that Arie was on Emily's season.  He wants to get through this ring thing as quickly as possible.  I really, really, really like Becca's dress.  It's a longer version of a dress that I used to have.  I still have it but I don't think I'd fit into it anymore.  But I can't bear to give it away because for some reason I love that dress. 

Nick's in the audience and he looks uncomfortable.  All past participants must have language in their contracts that they're obligated to show up to these events for either the rest of their lives or until the Bachelor producers consider them irrelevant, whichever comes first.

The weather seems to have finally cleared up.  Arie paces around the proposal stage.  Lauren emerges.  I knew it!  Lauren looks like a wreck and seems unenthusiastic.  But in her interview she says she feels confident.  I don't know how long they had to wait for the ground to dry up but it doesn't appear that Lauren slips down the long hill they make her walk down to get to Arie after all of that rain .

Lauren begins her speech and you can tell from Arie's face that what he's going to tell Arie isn't good. He looks very serious.  Lauren talks about opening up blah blah blah.  Arie should cut her off and end it.  She immediately knows when he starts talking that she's not chosen.  She doesn't really react to the dumping.  Lauren says she's confused.  She wishes him the best and says she needs to go.  He walks her out, but why bother?  He keeps holding her hand and she asks him why she did this to him.  He talks about his confusion and says he still loves her.  She gets in the car and drives away. 

Lauren is, of course, crying in the car.  Don't worry, sweetie--you don't know it now, but you're going to win out in the end.  Lauren is of course upset that she let her guard down and got screwed over.  This is as close to a coin flip as it gets if he wasn't sure what he was going to do until this morning and she thinks he made a mistake and chose the easy route.

Chris has his "somber" face on.  He constrains his glee when he reminds us that we're going to see the first unscripted unrehearsed unedited scene in reality tv history. Not just Bachelor history.  REALITY TV HISTORY.  And we know that Chris doesn't use words like that lightly.

After the break Chris is less somber.  Arie looks a little happier now as he looks at the ring. We watch Becca drive up to the proposal spot.  My favorite dress is a little different from hers.  It's mainly similar in the dusty pink with the black lace overlay.    I like that it looks strapless but it isn't.  I'm not a fan of strapless dresses.  Becca gives her speech, blah blah blah.  Now Arie has the same face as he had when he dumped Lauren. 

Arie finally starts talking and talking and talking.  He proposes but it's weird.  Maybe it's weird because we know what happens.  They make out.  She's already practicing how her name is going to sound. 

The Aftermath
Finally, this is the moment we've been waiting for.  Let's see what happens, shall we?  We see Arie and Becca canoodling.  He says their time together has been "good".  Well that's heartwarming and confidence building.  Arie says he keeps thinking about Lauren.  He says that Becca can tell that he's still thinking about Lauren.  He thought it was normal that he was in love with Lauren and eventually those feelings would go away but x weeks later (maybe three tops?) he can't stop thinking about her and has decided to break up with Becca and see if Lauren will take him back.  He doesn't say the latter, but obviously that's where this is going.

Chris and Arie talk.  Chris' faces are awesome--ecstatic, puzzled, contempt, distaste, fretful.  Becca is in LA under the pretense of one of her and Arie's secret getaways.  She walks through the sweet pad, Becca loves her engagement ring and talks about how excited she is for the future.  Arie arrives and there's yet another break.  The crowd is booing. 

The Breakup
Arie's sick to his stomach as he walks the very long walk to the front door.  She's happy but immediately senses something's up.  You can see the camera crew in the mirror and you can see that Arie wishes that these people weren't there.  Maybe not for Becca's sake, but her his.  In which case, perhaps you shouldn't have told Chris what you were going to do. 

The screen is split so we can watch both of them at the same time.  Arie gives his speech about how he still thinks of Lauren and Becca's reaction is, "so...what's the issue here?"  She asks if he wants to be with Lauren instead and he says "maybe" and then it's "you've got to be fucking kidding me."

I thought the fur was going to start flying but not quite yet.  It turns out that he spoke to Lauren on the phone, which Becca knew about, and he realized he still had feelings for her.  His rationale for Becca is "it's not fair to be half in with her".  To which Becca responds, "so, wouldn't you be half in with Lauren?"  And he says no. 

I'm waiting for Becca to lay into him and maybe she's holding it together for the cameras.  So then Becca starts pointing out that he said he couldn't see a future with Lauren and was he lying to her about that.  Ironically her head is in her engaged hand so we can get a good luck at the ring, which she quickly pulls off.  Arie keeps talking, which probably isn't a great idea.

Becca says if he was so conflicted in Peru he should never have engaged.  He agrees.  I liked Tia as the Bachelorette but I think Becca will do just fine as the Bachelorette.  She's too good for Arie anyway.  He says the more time he spent away from Lauren the more he was worried that his feelings for her were fading and Becca's response is, "yes, that's a normal relationship, that's what should have been happening."  Becca is clearly stunned and humiliated.  Even by Bachelor standards, this is tough to watch.

Arie said he wanted to do the right thing and tell her in person. Or else what, you'd ghost her?  That would be pretty tough to do, buddy.  You'd have to see her on the After the Final Rose.  She says he shouldn't have proposed at all.

It's unclear what else could happen but Chris assures us that there's still more to watch.  Arie and Becca sit in silence for what feels like forever.  Becca walks off and the camera creeps up to watch her pack her stuff.  Arie hesitatingly follows her.  She tells him she's not hugging him good-bye.  Arie doesn't want to leave things this way.  More silence.  He asks her if he wants a few minutes to herself or if she wants him to go and she says, "go".   The cameras finally leave Becca alone so she can cry.  Arie steps outside the house but doesn't leave.  All that being said, Rachel and Pauls' breakup is more emotional than this one.  Arie's standing outside with a look of, "I should look sad so let me have a sad face.  He eventually goes back in the house to find Becca.  He knocks on the door and asks if she's okay.  No, douche-bag, she's not okay.  WTF is wrong with you?  She tells him again to go and asks why he's still in the house.  This house is gorgeous but it's a strange layout.  The long hallway suggests it's not a good use of space.  Becca's wandering around the house crying.  Arie's sitting on the couch. 

Becca starts talking and the screen is still split so it's hard to tell if they're in the same room.  It seems that they're not or Arie somehow walks over to her.  He wants to talk more and she's right in that there isn't anything to talk about.  Chris reminds this is unedited footage.  Thanks, Chris.  We remember.   

They finally end up back on the couch to "talk".  Becca's makeup is just now starting to smear a little but it still looks pretty good.  Arie finally apologizes for what he's doing to her.  They talk but not really.  She tells again to leave because he's just sitting there.  He starts to leave but doesn't.  He just scooches to the edge of the couch.  She tells him to leave AGAIN.  He still just sits there.  Then he says "Okay, I'm going to go." And finally gets up.  Poor Becca sits on the couch crying.  Then she moves to the bathroom. 

When the scene ends and we go back to Chris, Becca's sitting on the couch.  She doesn't look happy to be there.  Chris asks her what's going through her mind watching it back.   That's pretty cruel.  She hasn't spoken to Arie or seen him since that day.  Chris asks if she wants to see Arie and her response is, "what's the point"?  But of course she's going to see him. 

Obviously ABC has cleared their schedule to allow for an extra night of TV.  Hopefully they'll keep filming instead of making Becca come back tomorrow to tape again.  But Chris tells Becca to get some sleep.  He seems to say some comforting words to her and her girlfriends give her big hugs.  Before the hugs, the vibe between Becca and Chris is off.  She's probably pissed at Chris Harrison and the producers too, as she should.

The Bachelor: Women Tell All

You know what's super annoying?  When your children are so needy and you just want to get caught up on your shows!  Chris promises us, as always, the most dramatic Women Tell All EVAH.  After a long and drawn out preview, we revisit past Women Tell All.  I misheard and thought it was going to be a montage from the season, but presumably that's coming later.

I have zero recollection of most of those memories.  I also have few memories of a lot of the women.  Chris starts by asking the women about their recollections of finding out that Arie was the Bachelor and what it was like when they first met him.  They share the first montage of the season.  Lots of crying, bitchiness, the usual.

They talk about glam-shaming.  The women discuss glam-shaming around Chelsea and she's clearly frustrated.  Caroline forgot her top.  The women actually vote on whether glam-shaming is a thing.  They quickly transition to Bekah's age.  Tia and Bekah get catty.  Then the conversation transitions to Krystal.  Bibiana draws first blood. 

Krystal's Hot Seat
Krystal is the first one on the hot seat.  She is her fake self.  Before we get into Chris' hard hitting questions, we see the Krystal montage.  We see some unseen footage of Krystal's freak out after the bowling date.  The women are stone faced watching her.  She says she wishes that she'd made more of an effort to make friendships.  Caroline lays into her.  It quickly erupts into them screaming at each other and nothing gets resolved.  Krystal still has her smug smile.  Bekah the Nanny can't seem to stop laughing.  They revisit the bowling team party.  They continue to go around in circles.  Krystal doesn't own up to anything.  Who is Olivia?  I don't remember this woman.  Krystal says she lost her voice and that's why she sounded the way she did.  Not even Chris is buying this.  She goes back to her childhood again.  The crocodile tears come out when she starts talking about her brother and how he watched the program (why on earth would he watch this) and because of watching the Bachelor and seeing her, he's off the streets now.  What total horseshit.

A Little Seinne, But Mostly Bekah
Seinne is up next.  I liked Seinne but she was way too smart and cultured for Arie.  We all know that Seinne is better off without him.  Young Bekah's earrings are ridiculous. Next up we are forced to relive Bekah's time with Arie.  Bekah's on the hot seat next and it's lame.  Becca and Tia sort of have it out but not really.  Bekah's disappearance comes up.  She was too stoned to check in with her mom.  It happens to the best of us.  Is she a trust fund baby?  How do these people afford to not work?

Tia's Hot Seat
Tia's on the hot seat next and we relive her time on the program.  Tia was probably the front runner until we found out that he Mesnick'ed either Becca or Lauren.  I'd forgotten how broken hearted Tia was.  There is an extremely awkward silence after the montage.  I'm concerned that Tia forgot her pants.  She discusses her self-esteem issues but she seems to have transitioned to anger in the stages of grief.  Chris seems to tee up Tia being the Bachelorette but we'll see what happens.  Maybe however Arie screws over will be too despondent to look for love again. 

Arie's Hot Seat
Finally Arie comes out.  The crowd goes wild for some reason.  Arie tells Tia how sorry he was to send her home.  He tells Tia it wasn't her, it was him.  Either way, she would have been gone the week after anyway.  Jacqueline defends Arie with the whole "her working on her PhD" thing.  He does clarify that he wants to get married and start having babies and a woman with career aspirations doesn't fit into his timeline.

Chris continues to throw Arie softballs.  They discuss Bekah and her age.  Again.  And in case anyone had forgotten, Arie reminds us "it's a huge weight being the Bachelor."  My heart truly bleeds for you, sir.  Arie rambles.  Caroline has her "I know what you did moment".   For all of the attention her comments received after the fact, during the show itself, nothing really happens.  They don't show the audience's reactions, Arie is his wooden self and Chris (obviously) runs to commercial break. 

Arie and Krystal
Rather than staying in her spot like everyone else has done, Krystal wants to sit with Arie on the couch.  Whatever anger she displayed before has been buried and she is her poised, phony self.  She tells Arie that she thought his goodbye was a little cold.  He says in hindsight, it was pretty appropriate.  Krystal kills Arie with her death stare.  He tears into her a little bit and says he probably kept her on longer than he should have.  I'm not sure what Krystal was hoping to achieve here, but my guess is it's backfiring on her.  She is still going on about that freaking bowling date.  Even though she knows they're all making a fool of her, Krystal tries to laugh off the whole thing.  Wah-waaaaah.

Bloopers
Chris has been talking about these bloopers for the past hour.  Wow, he can't get away from Arie fast enough.  I do have a weakness for bloopers, yet I'm generally disappointed.  Let's see...the one with Arie doing squats for Jenny was kind of funny.  As was the "merp" thing. 

When bloopers are over, John Cena is sitting on the couch.  Thankfully, Chris acknowledges the strangeness of this.   Chris says that John could be the next Bachelor.  I'm pretty sure John has a girlfriend/wife?   John isn't the only one on the couch with Arie.  Leslie Mann and Ike Barinholtz are there too.  This suddenly becomes a random plug for the movie Blockers.  Wow, Chris really is desperate for filler.  This is up there in the most random segues. 

Still desperate for filler, we get the "blocking" montage.  Couldn't they have just shortened this to half an hour?  And we still have seven and a half minutes left.  This is so weird.  Ike lightens up the mood. 

Finale Coming Attractions
Chris assures us this is the most dramatic finale ever.  And this time, he seems to be right.  We see a long montage for this week's dates fantasy suites.  And by this week, I mean last week.  We see a premonition from Arie about him being afraid he'll pick the wrong person.  Which, let's be clear, most Bachelors/Bachelorettes say.  Okay, maybe I paraphrased earlier, but now Chris says "this is the most dramatic finale in Bachelor history".  Chris says we don't want to be the only losers that don't watch the finale and then doesn't know what everyone is talking about around the water cooler the next day.  Consider yourself warned and clear your schedule.

Bachelor Winter Games: After the Final Rose

All of our favorites have been reunited for today's show.  Jordan has shaved his head.  It's taken me forever to get to this and even I know some of the spoilers, but we're going to do this anyway.  Things start off with a montage of all of our favorite moments.  Bibiana's crying and Jordan has nothing but nice things to say about her.  I still don't understand where things went wrong with those too.  I blame Bibi for that one.  Chris "speaks" to Yuki in "Japanese".  It is painful to see them use her but she seems like a willing participant.

We check in first with Courtney and Lily to see how they're doing.  It's funny how nobody asked how Courtney and Lily were going to figure out a long-distance relationships.  I guess people assume the countries are essentially the same.  Anyway, it appears that neither of them have real jobs or ABC/Bachelor helped pay for them to RV across the country.  There was video footage, of course.  They now live in LA, doing Lord knows what.

Next up is Lesley and Dean. Despite Dean's track record, these two continue to remain an item.  It's unclear if Dean just told Lesley that he loved for her the first time.  I'm hoping not.  He says he has a question for her and gets down on one knee and people are freaking out that he's proposing, but of course he isn't, he's just offering her a key to his apartment.  She seems genuinely amused.

We know from the coming attractions that Luke and Stassi aren't together, so let's hear more.  Stassi is on the couch by herself.  But first Stassi has to relive her relationship.  Oh right, Luke and his "heart" issues.  Perhaps her first clue would have been that he kept calling her Russian and she's from Belarus.  She corrected Chris on this so you know this is something she feels strongly about (as she rightly should.  Can you imagine if we were introduced as "Canadians"?  As if!).  I bet that she's even more glad that she turned down the fantasy suite since Luke turned out to such a tool.  Turns out, he left without getting her number and they haven't spoken since.  Luke's booed when he comes on stage.  This pretty much kills all chances of him ever becoming the Bachelor. I wouldn't fuck with Stassi. Luke appears because he's contractually obligated to and comes off as the asshole that he has apparently been the whole time.  He claims they broke up and she says she missed that conversation.

They go to "break" but it's not a real break and Stassi continues to lay into him.  Luke won't look at her or try to explain himself. No one wants to talk to Luke after that.

Ashley and Kevin are on next and seem to still be together.  It's pretty funny watching Ashley's journey on this season and how she went from crying to happy.  Not only does Kevin look like Tom Brady, Tom seems to be his idol.  Anyway, they seem to be doing well.

Claire joins the hot seat next.  We re-watch Claire's journey on Winter Games and how she shunned Benoit and settled for Christian.  We of course know that Claire and Benoit reconnected. Ugh, watching Claire I'm reminded of how much I don't like Claire.  We all know that Benoit proposes.  Everybody swoons.  I'm not sure why they even included as many contestants as they did because all of a sudden it's over and they didn't talk to Eric (who was only on the show for 20 minutes anyway) or Christian, or some of the others whose names I've already forgotten.

Winter Games was magical and I can't wait to see the next season.  Until then, we suffer through the rest of Arie's season.