Thursday, March 29, 2018

The Bachelor: Week 9

It's Fantasy Suite week.  No wait, the Overnights.  Peru seems to have paid good money for this publicity and Arie recites the reasons why Peru is so amazing.  Kendall's up first this week.

Note: I'm watching way past the finale airing, but I never watched it, so I'm watching it now.

Kendall's Date
Arie's hanging out in the middle of the desert.  Kendall's feeling the pressure to be ready to get married.  Arie sagely tells us that dune buggying is like a relationship.  You're such a tool, Arie.  Then they go sand surfing, which looks really fun.  Ha!  Kendall says if Arie proposed to her today she'd say no.

We all know by now that Kendall should be going with her gut on this.  Kendall's tired of men dating her because she's "interesting" and "quirky" and Arie's said several times how "interesting" Kendall is, so she's seeing the signs of this.  Kendall tells Arie she feels like she can trust Arie with "her", but this is clearly a load of crap.  Before everything went down, it was obvious that Kendall wasn't going to be in the final two.  Kendall has expressed reservations about the Fantasy Suite but I think we all know she's forgoing her individual room, because as we found out from Winter Games, it seems that only the North Americans forgo their individual rooms.

Arie's so eager to hear her answer, he's like a puppy.  He's relieved to find out he'll be getting laid tonight. His laugh is like nails on chalkboard to me now.

The day after Kendall of course feels amazing.  All of her fears have been dismissed.  Oh Kendall...

Lauren's Date
Arie and Lauren get on a plane to look at geoglyphs. Arie complains about Lauren's walls. Lauren shares her insecurities and misgivings again.  Lauren says she's thinking of walking away and Arie's annoyed by that.  He spends so much time reassuring her--what's her problem?  He of course doesn't acknowledge that she is still one of three women remaining and that's why she's feeling insecure.

Arie tells her he loves her and would hate to lose her.   This sets him up to then present the Fantasy Suite card.  His ploy works because of course she agrees.

The next day they're as much in love as ever.  Lauren's very pretty without all that makeup.

Becca's Date
It's weird to watch this knowing what happens. She's going to be a great Bachelorette.  They talk about how they have no concerns about each other.  Then they talk about doing the long distance thing and Becca's cool with it because while it's hard, she did it with her ex but says it was kind of annoying that she always went to him.  She then points out that if they were together at the end, presumably one of them would move (duh) and he says she could move down to him whenever she was ready.  Of course she's the one that would have to move.  Becca keeps going on about how happy she is.

The evening portion of the date is more of the same.  While everyone else got tables and floors, Becca gets a yurt.  Arie's three worries were not finding someone at all, someone not loving him back and (foreshadowing) picking the wrong person.

It's hard to focus on the conversation because it seems like there are a lot of background animals/bugs.  It's either birds or ginormous crickets.  Arie pulls the same "I'm not falling in love with you, I am in love with you" shtick.  And he pulls out the card.

A yurt would give this contraption too much credit.  It's a tent.  I'd feel trapped in that thing.  It's so small.

The next morning Becca obviously didn't bother to pack PJs or clothes for the next day because she's lounging around in her kimono.  They have a picnic breakfast in the desert.

Back at the production site, Becca's crazy ex boyfriend has decided to show up and claim his "girl" back because Becca's clearly just a piece of property.  To his credit, he's well dressed.  Becca's walking around blissfully unaware of this.  The guy shows up at Arie's place to claim his property.  We finally get a name--Ross.

Arie and Ross have a super weird conversation.  Apparently Arie's look of confusion is his "angry" look.  Ross seems to be sweating through his suit, which is gross.

Ross finally goes to see Becca, which he should have done in the first place.  She doesn't seem too surprised to see him, so she must have been given a heads up.  She's willing to talk to him for a few minutes but she doesn't invite him into her room.  Shes just keeps saying "What the f***" over and over.  He doesn't seem to want the cameras there but I'm not sure what he was expecting.  This is a waste of time and clearly filler.  She's pissed that he spoke to Arie.  Becca humiliates him and he finally leaves.

Becca goes to talk to Arie and apologize for her stalker ex showing up.  Arie's being bitchy, which isn't fair to Becca.  Everything's in question for him. 

Rose Ceremony
Before the Rose Ceremony, Arie sits down with Chris and evaluates each of the women.  Arie's makeup looks terrible.

Arie could not be any less enthusiastic about this rose ceremony.  What's with the horse tied up to the tree?  Before handing out the house he pulls Kendall aside AGAIN.  WTF?  It turns out he's pulling her aside to break up with her.  He essentially tells her she was a great lay but he's just not feeling it.  She doesn't seem too broken up about it but it's awkward.  Kendall gets a little teary in the car but we all know that she dodged a bullet.

Arie, Becca and Lauren stand awkwardly in a circle and talk about next week. We all know what happens by now...

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