Quarantine Tayshia: Week 1/5?

I don't know what to call show anymore.  Clayshia week 5?  Tayshia, Week 1?  It doesn't really matter.  In case you were hiding for some reason (seriously, no judgement), Clare ran off into the sunset with Dale last week and Tayshia is now the Bachelorette.  Now you're all caught up.

Clare who?

Most of the guys are psyched when Tayshia walks in.  Remember when Clare met Dale and got heart eyes?  It's the flip in that most of the guys now have heart eyes for Tayshia.  As they should because I've always really liked her (at least as far as I remember). No surprise, a lot of the guys start back pedaling and insist this is all working out for the best because Tayshia is more their type than Clare ever was.  Within the first few interactions that Tayshia has, we learn more about these guys than we ever learned when Clare was on. For example, Riley is a medical malpractice attorney.  I forgot he was an attorney (if I ever knew).  He also said he did personal injury, which gives off Ambulance Chaser vibes, but I'm going to push that aside.

Tayshia is talking to Brendan (not) from Menden when Chris pulls her away (already?).  The guys are alarmed, as they should be.  They have a bit of PTSD.  Chris tells her there are more guys coming in for her.  Fresh blood!  

New Meat

Kenny/Boy Band Manager needs to go.  To be honest, I don't pay too much attention to the new crop of guys, although Montel stands out because he's from Boston and is wearing...a salmon colored coat.  The guys are not welcoming to the new guys, it is quite awkward.  Wait, there's also Peter from FRAMINGHAM?!  I don't know Peter from Framingham, but I live right next door to him.  Noah seems like a POS but it could be the weird mustache.

Spencer, one of the new guyw, steals Tayshia away and of course the veterans hate him. Clearly he doesn't know his place.  Spencer gets the First Impression Rose and I think the veterans are going to smother him in his sleep.  Spencer gives me Derek vibes (who I think was on JoJo's season, but better known for his time on BIP).  Tayshia cancels the Rose Ceremony and all of the guys breathe a huge sigh of relief.

UGH, A Break in the Action

Chris mistakenly seems to think that we still care about Clare and Dale.  So he interrupts the regularly scheduled programming to sit down with them.  It's what you'd expect and it's a complete waste of time.  The weirdest moment is when Chris asks them what's next. Clare gleefully shouts "babies" and Dale's heart stops pretends he didn't hear her.  Poor guy.

First Group Date

Since the strip Dodgeball game went so well, for the first group date withTayshia, the guys are put in Speedos for some bizarre pool game.  Sigh.  Again, Fred Willard, RIP.  The guys play water basketball.  It's intense.  Blake still has PTSD from dodgeball game and he's determined he's not going back to the villa.  Kenny already has a nickname for her--T.   Spencer gets elbowed in the mouth but he's fine.  Blue Team wins.  As it happens, this is NOT the team that Blake is on and he's really pissed.  No matter, because we don't really see any scenes from the winner's BBQ and before we know it, all of the group date guys are back together again for the cocktail party.

The green team rejoins the winners and again, we learn way more about these guys than we did in the first few weeks.  For some inexplicable reason, Tayshia seems to like Kenny, despite the fact that he either can't button his shirts or refuses to.  I can't decide which is worst--probably the latter.  But he does call Spencer a dick and Riley calls Spencer "lunch meat".  I'm going to put this out there--I'm not sure Spencer is here for the right reasons.  Thankfully, Eazy finally gets a group date rose.  Tayshia does a good job of going around and saying nice things about a handful of guys and then giving the rose to one of them.  And yes, I have heard about the allegations against Eazy, which is disappointing.  It doesn't appear that Eazy's screen time has been cut since Reality Steve shared his news.

Jason Can't Get Over Himself

Jason for some bizarre reason can't get over Clare so he decides to leave.  I think what he really needs is a good therapist but I'm afraid he'd probably just fall in love with his therapist.  He goes to tell Tayshia goodbye.  Tayshia tells him that he's delusional if he thinks he's in love with Clare it's fine. Tayshia seems mildly disappointed but I think Tayshia dodged a bullet because we know from his one-on-one date with Clare that Jason has a lot of issues that he needs to work through.

Brendan from Not Mendon's One-on-One

In what might be one of the strangest dates we've seen, Tayshia and Brendan ride horses around the La Quinta resort.  Chris appears out of a mirage to offer them margaritas while they ride their horses.  Then he offers them ice cream, then cold coconuts(?).  Brendan accuses Chris of cock-blocking him.  He's complaining about not being able to kiss Tayshia but I think the horses are the real blockers here--how can you kiss somebody when you're riding horses?  They finally get a chance to make out in teh pool.  

Evening Portion

We haven't had enough opportunities to play the game I've been wanting to play all season long--the Big Reveal Game.  What deep dark secret is Brendan going to reveal to Tayshia?  Here are some guesses:

1. Parents are divorced so he's never seen a "good" example of a marriage.
2. He was a fat kid and was bullied (although I think Chasen already used this one).
3. He used to have glasses and was bullied.
4. His cousin died of an overdose.

Wrong!  His deep dark secret is HE'S divorced.  I know he's worried but Tayshia is also divorced, which he may have forgotten, so the good news for Brendan is he'll be fine.  

Brendan didn't do it for me initially, but he's cuter now that the camera is staying on him for longer than a split second.  He says him and his ex did "a counseling", which I assume means they went to counseling once but didn't like it.  He also says that his ex wasn't sure if kids were in her future, which could either mean two things--either she wasn't sure she wanted children (or she didn't want children with HIM), or she couldn't have children and he dumped her, which would be super-douchy of him.

Nevertheless, Brendan is relieved that they have so much in common.  Tayshia wants five kids(!).  Good Lord.  She might think she does, but that's a lot of kids.  I originally thought that Brendan was wearing a t-shirt, but it's some kind of patterned knit shirt(?).  And of course La Quinta sets off fireworks for them.  There's no sign of a musical act.  A few guys see the fireworks over the villas.  Tayshia is ready to marry Brendan, but clearly not in a Clare way.  She's still wants to assess the other options.

Next Week

The testosterone is in full effect next week and I'm here for it.  The closing credits show Ed (?) and Bennett (who's screen time has plummeted) talking about weirdo Noah's weirdo mustache.  It's unclear to me why Ed hasn't been sent home yet, even with all of the Clare drama.  Unlike Brendan, I don't think my perception of Ed is going to change with him getting more screen time.