Quarantine Tayshia: Week 6

In case you were wondering, it looks like the toxic masculinity is in full force this episode.   I am here for it.  The timing is a little strange, because it's the second group date since Tayshia arrived, but it kicks off this week's episode.  That's neither here nor there.  

Grown Man Challenge

Ugh, Ashley and Jared are the hosts of this date.  At the end of the day, one guy will be crowned a "grown ass man" and another will get the "man-child" title.  I can't wait!  My guess is Chasen will get the "man child" title.  Thankfully, Bennett is on this date and it's nice to have him back.  Scratch that--Bennett, might get the man-child title because he's acting super weird.  He's also proof that he got into Harvard because of his money and connections and not because he's brilliant.  I find it strange that he seems to be getting a bad edit on this episode.  

The next challenge is sort of a reverse tug of war.  It's very Titan Games-esque.  The only reason Ed has made it this far into the season is because of the Clare shenanigans.  Bennett claims he can't compete because of an old polo sailing equestrian lacrosse football injury.  Sure, B, sure.

Next the guys have to make breakfast in bed for Tayshia.  It's lame.  Here are the highlights:

1. Another guy whose name I still can't remember seems to think Scottsdale started "Sunday Fundays."  
2. Ed does the lame, "sit on my back while I do push ups" move.
3. Bennett, in his bathrobe and clearly with no shirt on, complains about Chasen taking his shirt off.  Bennett--who did you piss off?  Is he the new villain now that Dale is gone?  

Ed gets the man child award and Bennett gets the Grown Man Award, demonstrating that there was no rhyme or reason to this entire date.  Bennett thanks Tayshia by shoving his tongue down Tayshia's mouth.  I'm so confused by this date but unfortunately it's not quite over.

Bennett still has his robe on at the after party and it's very cringey.  I'm dismayed that Chasen also says "cringey" to describe Bennett's behavior.  Of course Chasen starts complaining about Bennett winning.  Guys--this was a move by producers to stir the pot.  It's so obvious.  They gave it to the guy who clearly didn't "earn" it so you guys will be pissed and start bullying him.  You're all falling for it!  It doesn't matter!  

Tayshia arrives and gives Bennett a funny look.  He immediately tries to pull her aside but Tayshia says she wants to say hi to the other guys, to which he smarmily sneers, "whatever the girl wants." WTF is happening right now?  This is a fascinating study in how the producers can show two completely personas of a single person in this show.  Chasen asks if he can pull Tayshia away and she's extremely grateful that she doesn't have to talk to Bennett.  

Ugh, Bennett tells Chasen he's not excited enough for Tayshia.  Leave poor, simple Chasen alone, if only because his nickname is Wolverine, which is confusing.  This episode is so bad in it's chest puffing.  Ed spends his time with Tayshia throwing Chasen under the bus which is such a quick way to get yourself booted.  Tayshia, who when was asked by one of the guys what her career was, vaguely alluded to the fact that her job title is "Influencer", is annoyed that Chasen says he also wants to be an Influencer.  I mean, obviously, that's what they all want, but you just don't say it, you know?  It's so new money to talk about your Influencer ambitions.  

Tayshia for some reason decides to waste time clearing things up with Chasen and of course Chasen smooths things over with Tayshia.  Chasen goes to confront Ed and it feels like a terribly acted soap opera.  It's bizarre and lame and as Tayshia is on her way back to rejoin the guys, Ed shushes Chasen, who, to his credit, refuses to be shushed.  There's lots of throwing around the term "grown-ass man" and what determines what a man is.  Fortunately, Ben the Army vet tells us what a true man is (thank you Ben!):

1. Grown ass men DON'T argue.  So...they're just "yes men"?
2. They ARE kind.
3. They ARE humble.
4. They protect those who can't protect themselves (women and children, presumably.  Also, baby deer.  No wait, he probably hunts deer.  Ummm...puppies and kittens).
5. They don't **** on national TV about some stuff. (Didn't follow this one but obviously he's right because he's BEN and has white male privilege).

For all of the attempts that this show has made to increase diversity, have you noticed that the only dudes that have gotten ANY screen time on this date are the white guys?  Ivan's gotten some time (and he gets the rose), but the Joe (the doctor) hasn't gotten anything, nor have the other two black guys on this date.  Do you know why I don't know their names?  Because they haven't gotten any screen time!  So frustrating. Ben is also frustrated that he didn't get the rose especially since he so clearly defined manhood for us.  Chin up, Ben.

Cocktail Party

Apparently they're having the Rose Ceremony smack dab in the middle of this episode.  I always get a little out of sorts when they do this, especially in this challenging year, but I'm resilient so I should be fine.  Anyhoo, Chasen makes a speech about people questioning his character.  Boy Band Manager has again forgotten to button his shirt up all the way.  Who has time for such things when you're practicing your looks of shock at what people say?  Thankfully, Bennett has changed back into clothes.  Chasen calls out Ed, who stands by what he said.  Chasen--chill out.  Ed will go home soon enough. 

The thing that I didn't articulate before about Ed and Chasen's bickering is that it was a result of Chasen having the gall to describe Clare and Tayshia using the same adjectives.  Fortunately, Chasen has come up with a new adjective for Tayshia--smoke show. I don't think smoke show is an adjective, it seems more like a noun. The men openly snicker and Chasen looks genuinely hurt and confused by this reaction.  Another fun fact we learn from Bennett--Ed got a perfect score on his math SATs.  This is how I imagine this revealing itself when they met:

Bennett: My name is Bennett and I went to Harvard.  

Ed:  Oh yeah?  I'm Ed and I look like a Neanderthal because of my heavy forehead and beady eyes. But I got a perfect score on my Math SATs so I'm really smart.

Bennett:  That's great!  I didn't have to do well on the SATs because I went to a prep school and my dad bought a building at Harvard.  Also, how old are you?  Why are you still talking about your SAT scores now that you're in your early to mid-30s?  I can brag about Harvard for the rest of my life but you bragging about your SATs is odd.

Ed: I do it because I'm insecure.  Just so you know, I totally could have gotten into Harvard but I didn't want to.  In high school I had this girlfriend who was a model and she lived in Canada.  For immigration reasons she couldn't go to Massachusetts, so if she couldn't visit me there, I didn't want to go to school there, you know?  

Bennett:  Oh yeah, bro.  I totally get it.  I mean, I don't, because I had an actual girlfriend in high school who went to the sister school from my male prep school, but yeah. 

Ben pulls Tayshia aside and shovels horse s*** about how he loves that she wants somebody to be their authentic self and that, like, totally resonates with him?  For some reason Tayshia seems smitten. 

Ed and Bennett continue to mock Chasen, especially the fact that Chasen thinks smoke show is an adjective.  The other guys sitting nearby laugh and smile awkwardly because they also weren't aware that "smoke show" was a noun and not an adjective.

Ed again talks about Chasen to Tayshia and you can tell by her face that like us, she doesn't care about this.  Please stop talking Ed.  I hoped that I would like Ed if we got to know him and his beady eyes a bit more, but the more he talks the more I want him gone.  

Ed tells Tayshia that Chasen intimidated him last night (did they show this? If so, I totally missed it).  Tayshia pulls Chasen aside, Chasen admits he did intimidate Ed to Tayshia, which she's unhappy about.  Then Chasen pulls a, "I'm sorry if you felt threatened by me last night", again, not an apology and Bennett and Boy Band the busy bodies insert themselves into Chasen and Ed's conversation.  These guys are all such drama queens.

Rose Ceremony

Ben is the guy version of the woman that cries throughout her ITM that she's not sure if she's getting a rose.  It's exhausting.  Demar was the other guy that wasn't on the date.  I've also noticed that we've seen nothing of Eazy, so it's unclear if he's been edited out because of the allegations I mentioned last week or if the producers think that because they have a Black and Mexican lead, that they can ignore pretty much all of the other guys of color on this episode, as they already have.  Ed miraculously makes it another week as does Chasen.  

The two new guys from Massachusetts get sent home as does Straitjacket guy.  Chaesen is really focused on his new noun adjective.  Even if the guys weren't impressed, he's clearly very proud and he's sticking with it.

New Day, New Group Date

This is the cage match date they've been promoting all episode.  Forget what I said about Eazy, he's back.  I know Bennett's getting an odd edit overall, but he increasingly reminds me of Jared Kushner and I hate looking at him.  The guys meet Tayshia at the date and Tayshia is joined by two badass women.  I'm really glad to see that Joe is getting some more screen time because he's adorable and funny.  I hope this doesn't mean he's going home soon.

Chris tells the guys that they're going to be wrestling in front of a "live" audience and by "live" I assume he means the other guys.  

Sure enough, the spectators are the other guys.  Wells Adams is auditioning for the role of co-announcer this week.  It appears they've converted an indoor basketball court as the scene for tonight's event.  Tayshia paints oil onto the guys.  It's icky.  

It's unclear what the rules are but instead of mud wrestling, it's oiled-up men wrestling.  Everyone is too slippery to take down.  I won't bore you with the details because nothing really happened. As you'd expect, Chasen and Ed are matched up against each other and I'm expecting Ed to get his ass kicked.  Wait, Ed waits until now to slink over to Chris and tell him he has bad shoulders that "chronically dislocate" so, you know, he's super bummed, but he can't compete.  It's unclear why this was edited the way it was.  It's like Ed told the producers he didn't want to do it and they said, "that's fine, let Tayshia oil you up anyway, it's not a big deal."  And then he got matched up and he had to go over to Chris and say, "I told the producers I couldn't do this but I guess they didn't tell you?"

Again, the coming attractions have misled us.  Since Ed pussied out, Chris asks if anyone wants to "fight for Tayshia's heart" and THAT's the reason Mustache jumps in the ring.  I mean, he still shows off by jumping the fence, but he didn't jump unprodded as we were led to believe.  Anyway, Chasen faces off against Noah, and Chasen wins the match and apparently the entire event.  Again, this whole "competition" doesn't appear to have any real rules.  Which is fine because I'm ready to move on from this date.  There's still an after party and Tayshia invites Noah along and the other guys are pissed at Noah but dare I say, this blame is misdirected.  Chris asked if anybody wanted to step in and if Noah didn't volunteer, I guarantee somebody else would have, so as much as I hate to defend him, I don't think Noah's in the wrong here.  

It looks like the guys were allowed to shower off that disgusting oil.  Of course Noah pulls Tayshia away first so the guys are further pissed.  Noah and Tayshia make out and it's gross but she asks him to shave off his mustache and to his credit, he goes to shave it off.  Ben is gunning for the Group Date rose and I can tell you now his plan is going to backfire.  He wants to be the last one to talk to her and it's clear he's not going to get a chance to talk to her.  Even if he does get his chance, I think Noah is getting the rose if he does shave off the mustache.    

Tayshia shaves off Noah's mustache and they make out more and I lose my appetite again.  Noah looked 15 before and now looks 12.  Tayshia sits down with the guys to give out the rose and it's clear that Ben has lost his chance.  Ben asks if he can talk to her and Tayshia says, "Ben...the night is over."  OUCH.  Of course Tayshia gives the rose to Noah and the guys are, of course, pissed.   

Credits

In the credits, we see Brendan showing Tayshia how to ride a different kind of horse and it is so funny and endearing, this sentence doesn't do it justice but I am totally rooting for Brendan and I'm really glad he's emerging as a front runner.

Closing Thoughts

These are the things I've been thinking about:

1. I listen to a few Bachelor-related podcasts and none of the podcast hosts had the same reaction I did to Bennett and his robe.  Am I the only one that read his robe as creepy?
2. You know how hotels and resorts give their conference rooms names that revolve around a theme?  What theme do you think La Quinta uses?  Maybe desert birds?  Cactus names?
3. I was stalking Ed's IG to see if he's better looking there I could gain a better understanding of him and I found this:

Is that guy on the far right Ed?  If so, what happened?  At least in this picture he's generically good looking in a 90s boy band way but he looks like a different person.  Based on the comments, this picture was taken years ago.