Quarantine Tayshia: Week 12

It's Fantasy Suite night dear readers!  I can't wait.  I still think Zac will be the last one standing but I'm mostly worried about Brendan's poor broken heart.

What's the Living Situation?

So, it's unclear what the current situation is around the living situation.  Are the guys all staying in the same villa now?  It seemed they used to have their own room (although I think some guys shared a villa with another guy), but I can't tell now if they all live in the same villa or if they're forced to sit in that same room when they're not sleeping.  Remember when they made Pilot Pete's women all stay together because they wanted to virgin-shame Madison?  Maybe the producers realized this was too fantastic not to keep doing and they're kicking themselves for it taking almost 20 years to start this tradition?  

So we see Tayshia and randomly she's talking to Jo Jo.  Tayshia claims Jo Jo is here for one last "girl chat", but couldn't this just be leftover footage from when they spoke earlier? This is so weird.  It's entirely possible that they had Jo Jo stick around an extra day because Chris just came back last week.  Whatever the reason, the conversation is pointless.

First Up...Ivan

Ivan gets the first Fantasy Suite date and he's super psyched he gets first crack. The awkwardness in the room is palpable.  Seriously, starting my own business and not having kids in daycare anymore (or any activities for that matter) has cut off my connection to women in their 20s.  Women who would probably be looking for somebody as adorable as Brendan.  He has the qualities of a townie--down-to-earth, loyal, family oriented but without the grating accent or friends that are going nowhere yet he's known them forever so he can't dump them.  

Zac is sounding pretty confident which makes me wonder if his bubble is about to burst.  Have I mentioned how much I like Brendan?  Because I'm not sure I have.  Honestly, I like Zac a lot too.  And Ivan.  I LIKE ALL OF THEM.  There doesn't seem to be a DB in the bunch.  Zac is definitely more intense and serious though.

Ivan's Date

I am concerned about the pressure these guys have to propose and I appreciate that both Ivan and Brendan have expressed reservations about this.  Unfortunately, that's not how this show works and if Dale proposed after two weeks then you know full well these guys are going to be expected to propose after 6ish weeks.  I think Tayshia would be totally fine to keep dating, and maybe during FS she has these conversations with the guys along the lines of, "it's okay to "propose" but I won't consider it a real proposal."

Back to the date.  Sigh.  Remember a few years ago in Paradise when Evan and Carly did that ridiculous hot pepper kiss?  Ivan and Tayshia are going to get into an ice bath and set a record for the world's longest coldest kiss.  In case you were wondering, he current world record is 5 minutes, 16 seconds.  Thank goodness they're in Palm Springs where it is hot as blazes.  I'd probably want to run around for a while though so the ice bath felt better. 

They have apparently run out of people to bribe to come to Palm Springs because Chris is joined by Big Paulie.  Who's Big Paulie?  He's the goon/muscle of the show.  Poor Paulie, he looks out of his element.  Ivan and Tayshia get in and despite the fact that Ivan is sweating, it doesn't look fun. Also, they're in separate baths so it looks awkward that they have to turn and face each other.  They're not even making out, they've simply attached their lips to each other.  Maybe if they were actually making out it would go by faster. Yes, they set the record.

For the evening portion of the date, Tayshia shows off her romantic side by talking about how she likes to set goals in relationships and then celebrate when you reach goals.  Tayshia is looking at Ivan with a look of adoration that I don't recall seeing before.  Ivan tells Tayshia he's been falling in love with her and she says she's been falling in love with him too.  Obvi they forego their individual rooms.  

The Fantasy Suite is an Airstream camper and it looks really cute.  The next day, whatever reservations that Ivan had about proposing are lost in the wind.  

Ivan makes his way back to the guys and they have another awkward conversation.  The producers make it seem like Ivan just walked in and now it's Zac's turn but there's no way she's doing back-to-back dates if only because the poor woman is probably exhausted and at least let her take a nap.  Or maybe they need to move the train along.

Zac's Date

Tayshia is BEAMING when Zac runs to her so I do think that he's still the frontrunner. It would take a lot for Zac to screw this up.  Zac and Tayshia are going to rub themselves with paint and then rub it all over each other.  And that's what they do.

Once they're dressed and cleaned up from the paint date, Tayshia tells Zac that his mom told her Zac didn't want kids and he says he used to think that but now he doesn't and he wants to get married and have kids blah blah blah.  Then Zac tells Tayshia that he loves her and she tells him that she loves him and as far as I can tell they should just head straight to the final rose ceremony.  Obviously they forego their individual rooms.  No camper for these two.  They get...another suite. Zac pours them both wine but does Zac drink?  I'm pretty sure he doesn't.  And no judgement if he is.  

The next day we get the same rigmarole where Zac does the walk of shame to sit with the guys and now it's even more awkward than when Ivan came back.  Brendan's dressed and ready to go.  I'm not loving his button-up short sleeve shirt.

Brendan's Date

Brendan and Tayshia are going ring shopping with old pal Neil Lane today.  Poor guy (Brendan, not Neil).  Neil's probably pissed he's gotten so little screen time these past few seasons and has insisted on some kind of camera presence.  Brendan and Tayshia walk in and Neil is of course, "playing" the piano.  He does the, "oh!  there you are, I was just tickling the ivories."  Neil tells Brendan to not get nervous and Brendan is obviously nervous.

This is a super weird date.  Tayshia tries on jewelry for her wedding.  Then they look at wedding bands.  This is so boring and is clearly meant to be a mindf*** for poor Brendan.  Then because Neil hasn't had enough screen time, the three of them sit down and Neil runs down the list of Bachelor "success stories".  Meanwhile, Brendan is getting paler and paler and looks so incredibly uncomfortable.  He's not smiling and he's clearly not having fun.  Tayshia finally notices that Brendan isn't having fun.

For the evening portion, Tayshia looks amazing as always.  Brendan has changed from his white shirt to his black shirt and looks great (obvs).  Brendan robotically tells her the day was fun.  Tayshia gaslights Brendan a bit by saying she thought he was the one early on but he's really undershared.  Poor Brendan looks so nervous and says the last few weeks have been really hard.  

Brendan then proceeds to tell her that he's not ready to propose to anyone and I love him even more.  I'm so glad he's self-selecting out.  He starts getting choked up and it's so sweet and I want to give him a hug.  Tayshia is very graceful and kind and isn't a bitch.  Plus it's one less decision that she has to make tonight.  This is the best ending I could have envisioned for Brendan and I'm so so so glad he's leaving on his own terms.

Obviously we know that somebody comes back.  Is it Brendan?  I don't think so.  Is it Ben?  Maybe.  Is it Bennett again?  Good God I hope not.  As we watch Brendan's SUV leave, I wonder the same thing I thought about when we said bye to Blake last week--where are they driving to?  Do they just drive around the compound a few times?  Because the guys still need to pack up.

A New Day

There is no awkward discussion with Brendan and the guys.  The next morning, Tayshia has breakfast that is set out for two people but she's eating for one and who shows up?  Rachel Lindsey!  Rachel looks amazing of course.  I love her skirt.  I got sidetracked trying to find the skirt and when I look up, Ben is back and he's here to see Chris.  I never did find the skirt but it's probably for the best because I doubt I can afford it.

But Ben's not here to see Chris, he's here to try and win back Tayshia of course.  Ben wants a do-over on getting dumped again.  Since Brendan self-selected out and they want drama for the Rose Ceremony, I have no doubt they'll let Ben go see Tayshia.

Tayshia is still sitting at the table not eating her breakfast.  But Ben doesn't show up quite yet.  We see Tayshia "getting ready" for the Rose Ceremony when Ben finally shows up.  Tayshia doesn't look surprised but nor does she look happy.  She's probably tired of people showing up at her door.

This feels...weird.  Now Ben is giving off the Patrick Bateman vibes.  I really hope they don't make Ben the next Bachelor.  Presumably the field will be wide open because we need to get through Matt James, then *fingers crossed* Paradise and then maybe another Bachelorette before we have another Bachelor season.  Ben states his case and Tayshia stares at him dead eyed.

She says she needs a minute and goes to her room to talk to her producer.  Obviously there is not resolution but it looks like Ben stays.  FFS....

The Finale and Parting Questions

The finale is tonight!  I can't wait.  If she ends up picking Ben then I'll be pissed.  Well, maybe not pissed, but aggravated.  I hope she doesn't let Ben stay but the coming attractions suggested he does, but again, we still need to get through the Rose Ceremony.

Here is what I'm thinking about as I impatiently wait for tonight:

1. Will Ben get a rose and Ivan get sent home?
2. Does Tayshia end up picking Ben and it implodes before it even gets a chance because Ben is exhausting?
3. Does Tayshia pick Zac (as she should in my opinion) but it still ends before it gets a chance?

On one of the podcasts I listen to, the host and her guest were discussing that Tayshia didn't seem happy at MTA. I didn't notice this because Tayshia isn't very gregarious but now I can't stop thinking about this.