Happy Thanksgiving everyone! In this year, despite the children that are on Tayshia's season, I'm extremely thankful that we have Tayshia and her guys.
Go Bold or Go Home
It seems that Chasen and Noah are good buddies now and they canoodle on the daybed together. Chris walks in to tell the guys that weren't on yesterday's group date (invited or not) that they need to write and perform an original love song and the winner will get a one-on-one with Tayshia. And they only have an hour. Game on, guys.
It's clear that none of these guys have any musical talent but there is a boy band manager in the group, who I haven't seen yet in this montage. Demar seems ready to go and I'm excited to see what he brings. Here's a notable quote from Bennett: "I did not take any music courses at Hah-vad that's for sure but I spit some flow for my high school friends over, you know, some retreats." "Spit some flow"? In case it's not obvious, he means, "I rapped while I was hammered with my friends while we were skiing in the Swiss Alps during winter break at our prep school."
Boy Band appears and confirms this is the most terrifying thing he's ever done in his life, again showing that he's led an incredibly sheltered life. However, as the MANAGER OF BOY BANDS he can presumably steal from their songs since the general public will most likely never see these boy bands. Zac the recovering addict/drug counselor NEEDS this one-on-one because I've been waiting for his story for forever. He goes first and it's not terrible. Boy Band isn't terrible either and he sums up Bennett's rapping perfectly: "f***ing awkward." Ivan, while stammering and making excuses, does a good job too. Demar does a really good job too but I'm concerned that his days are numbered because I think Ivan's going to win. Because to be clear, this isn't about the best song, it's about who she wants a one-on-one date with. And the winner is...Ivan! The non-winners look sad and dejected.
Ivan's One-on-One
As Ivan's "getting ready" for his one-on-one which is basically him looking in the mirror and fixing his necklace and shirt over and over, Brendan is forced to listen Noah talk about how he thinks Ivan isn't Tayshia's type because he's quiet and super sophisticated and she likes bold, outgoing guys. Oh to have the confidence of a mid-twenties white boy from Oklahoma. Because he obviously knows what Tayshia likes being a mid-twenties boy from Oklahoma where his opinion was probably never challenged. Because if you look at the front runners--Ivan, Ben, I'll throw Zac in there, none of them are loud. Because again, "loud" isn't really a quality that most women include on their qualities list. Many women put things like, "good person", "kind", "doesn't think mustaches are cool" as better qualities in guys. But I know, a 25 YO white male does know better.
Tayshia says they're going to order room service but the phone is in her bedroom, so they need to get the phone but the floor is lava so they can't touch the floor. I thought this was really fun and you know what I liked best about it? That Ivan didn't take the opportunity to shove his tongue down Tayshia's throat while they were on their way. Because you know full well that many of the other guys would have. This is where we see the pillow fight and I feel bad for the staff that has to clean that up. As snarky as I like to be, it's hard to be snarky with Ivan because he seems smart, genuine and normal and you wonder what on earth he's doing on this show.
Can we focus on that ginormous ice cream sundae? How wasteful is that? Yikes. As it turns out Ivan is also part Filipino and Tayshia says she's never met a Filipino Black person and I'm just as surprised as Ivan because there are a lot of Filipinos in California. I grew up in Cali and I met a lot of different Filipinos. So I'm just as perplexed as Ivan is. Tayshia doesn't really appreciate being questioned on this and gets a little defensive.
Another Date Card
Another date arrives while Ivan is with Tayshia and it includes: Zac, Kenny, Demar, Bennett, Riley and Blake. Weren't these the guys that were just on the group date where Ivan got the 1-on-1? And nobody is acknowledging this. I'm super confused that nobody is pointing this out. Instead Bennett and Noah have a pissing match.
Back to Ivan and Tayshia
The one-on-one is happening and you feel that Ivan is going to reveal his dark secret. My new favorite game:
- His mom broke up his dad's first marriage.
- His brother is a drug addict. And by drug addict, he's a pothead.
- His brother is in jail.
And the winner is...number 3! Woo-hoo! Well, partially. I think the brother is out of jail. I also feel like an a**hole playing this game because it does sound like a legitimately sad story. As smart as Ivan is, he is a "literally" over user. Sigh. Everybody has their faults but this would be a dealbreaker for me.
Ivan does a Bachelor first and mentions George Floyd. Doesn't he know that racism doesn't exist in Bachelor Nation? Ivan asks Tayshia how the BLM moment has affected her. Tayshia seems to discount it a little bit but eventually starts crying. As an African American, I'd be more concerned if she wasn't emotional, but it's clearly not something she wants to talk about, which is fine. Again, she has a role to play and Tayshia doesn't strike me as a social activist. Which, again, she doesn't have to. But there does seem to be something going on that she doesn't want to talk about. It's not the deepest conversation, but for this show it was groundbreaking. Ivan obviously gets the rose. Ivan is close to planning their wedding but I don't know if Tayshia likes him as much as he likes her.
Part Two of the First Group Date
Again, nobody is commenting that these guys have already been on a group date (except for Ben and Ivan) in this episode. Today Tayshia is joined by former Bachelorette Becca and Sidney. The guys will be playing "Tayshia's Truth or Dare". Production finally decides to let the guys wander around the property. This might be the most interesting date yet. The funniest is listening to Boy Band and Blake fake orgasms and have it broadcasted to the other guys. I definitely would have thrown up drinking one of those smoothies.
Tonight is the Truth portion of the Truth or Dare Date. Bennett is surprisingly emotional and admits his parents were in a loveless marriage and he was about to go that way too but claims he called off the wedding, which I'm not entirely sure I believe. Bennett thinks he's locked in the date rose. When asked what his exes would warn Tayshia about, Blake pulls the, "I have great relationships with all of my exes", which is essentially the same as answering, "my biggest weakness is I'm a perfectionist." I would push more but Tayshia doesn't seem to care that much. The rest of the date is forgettable. Tayshia ends up giving the rose to Zac.
Ben Goes Bold
Ben is freaking the f*** out because he was chastised by Tayshia for sitting back during the group date so he's going to visit her room. Clearly the producers have been stirring the pot again because they also encouraged Ed to visit her room too. Ugh. It would be so great if Tayshia loved this from Ben and sent home Ed because Ed needed to go home week 1.
Ed knocks on the door and Chris Harrison answers. Ed went to the wrong suite. It's so great. Chris says it's 2:30 in the morning but he's clearly been warned of Ed's arrival. Chris invites Ed in and they have some wine. Tayshia who? It's unclear why Ed doesn't then go over to Tayshia's but he's an idiot so that's perhaps the reason.
Ben finds Tayshia's suite and apologizes to her for being a doofus. She scolds him quite a bit but forgives him. Somebody knocks at Tayshia's door while her and Ben are making out and you think it's going to be Ed, but it's room service, which Ben had "arranged", which means the producers set it up.
Meanwhile, Ed is still wandering the grounds but seems to eventually give up and go back to bed.
Cocktail Party
This has felt like the longest episode. I started watching Wednesday(?) and it's Monday and I'm still not done. Ben, of course, pulls Tayshia first at the cocktail party. Noah looks so much better without his mustache. Noah decides he needs to stir the pot and whines to Tayshia that the guys don't think he really earned his rose. Has anybody actually said that? Tayshia gets pissed and gathers the guys to tell them off. She then cancels the rest of the cocktail party.
The guys are confused and stunned because I don't think any of them knew what she was talking about. They immediately know that Noah's the one that started it and go at him. Ed says that if he goes home it's going to be Noah's fault. Of course, Ed. It couldn't be that she just isn't attracted to you.
Rose Ceremony
Bennett is quite the martyr and identifies himself as Noah's babysitter. Dude, nobody asked you to be Noah's babysitter. Boy Band says the only reason Noah pulled his shenanigans was so he'd stay but he doesn't seem to realize that Noah already has a rose, so he's staying this week no matter what. It's down to five(?) guys and unfortunately I think Chasen will get the last rose. No, it's Ed. UGH.
Are there really four guys going home? Yikes. As far as I can tell, the following didn't get roses: Chasen, Joe, Boy Band, and Jordan C. When I was trying to identify Jordan because I still didn't know who he was, I found out that Chasen is from Walnut Creek, which is where I went to high school. Further stalking reveals that he went to the same high school I did. So now I feel strangely attached to Wolverine/Chasen. Chasen is perfect for Paradise so I'm confident we haven't seen the last of him.
Next week
I've already forgotten what they previewed for Tuesday night but it looks like Bennett and Noah go on a two-on-one. Because, of course. I'm glad they've brought that back because at this point I'd be fine if Tayshia sent them both home.
Closing Thoughts
Here are the things I've been thinking about:
- Does anybody else have a visceral dislike of Ed?
- Does anybody want to analyze why I have such a visceral dislike of him? Because even I wonder where it's coming from but I can't stand the guy.
- Is anybody else over Bennett?
- Has anybody been to Brendan not from Mendon's IG? He's very funny.
- Has anybody gone to Montell's IG? Remember Montell? Well, maybe not because he was on for about 30 seconds. His story looks really interesting so it's a shame he didn't get more screen time.
- Any other good IGs I should look at when I'm supposed to be doing something else, like laundry?
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