This might be the first week that I've looked forward to BIP. It definitely had a slow start but now that things have slowly moved away from Blake and his harem, I'm more interested. Things pick up right where they left off with Jordan inexplicably inserting himself in the Clay/Nicole/Christian drama. Jordan goes over to pull down the pinata. The guys start fighting and I'm amazed at how quickly a crew of security swarms down. Christian is riled up and Jordan is cool as a cucumber. Christian gets away from the security guys and makes another run for Jordan.
Nicole claims to be scared but you can tell she's excited that two guys were fighting over her. Although to be clear, they weren't fighting over her. They were fighting over a pinata. The producers bring Chris H. by. It's unclear what's happening next. Mike reminds us there still hasn't been a Rose Ceremony tonight. Nicole claims she wanted somebody assertive and aggressive but not that aggressive. It's a slippery slope my dear.
Chris and the producers pull Jordan aside to get his side of the story and tell him he's kicked off the show, which I think is smart. What Jordan did is stupid and he should go home. Jordan accepts this but you can tell he's disappointed. Christian is spoken to next. It looks like Jordan might have hurt Christian which is surprising. The producers and Chris tell Christian he's gone too. Christian's annoyed by this.
Chris gathers the gang together in the palapa. Kristina's worried there's going to be another production shut down. Chris tells the gang that the show is about love not fighting and that Christian and Jordan have been sent home. There's a lot of sound bites from the gang on how violence isn't the answer. Chris tells the guys to go back to what they were doing and the cocktail party continues.
Clay pulls Nicole aside. I thought he was going to tell her that he's not an agro guy but he doesn't. Instead Nicole says that she's glad he didn't try and intervene in the fight.
Blake starts stirring s*** up and tells Onyeka that Cam is telling people that he's getting her rose. Cam pulls her aside and begs for her rose. Onyeka starts to wonder what she's doing in Paradise. Meanwhile, the women gossip about Hannah's indecisiveness. Dylan sets up a picnic for Hannah. My eyes glaze over. Blake pulls Hannah aside next and says he wants to remind HER why SHE has a crush on HIM. Did he actually say that? What a tool. A mariachi band comes in and he continues to show off his dance moves. They start making out in front of Dylan. Mike's annoyed with Hannah and it's wonderful. The gang tells Dylan that he shouldn't watch them. Dylan doubles down and lurks in the shadows to watch them. It's really creepy. Dylan starts crying.
Rose Ceremony
It's finally time for the Rose Ceremony. Everyone's glad that this will hopefully put an end to the Dylan/Hannah/Blake triangle because everyone is over it. Chris H. is giving his speech and Onyeka interrupts him and asks if she could say something. She says she's been unhappy and is leaving. Cam, who was banking on getting Onyeka's rose, is stone faced. Wills sums it up by saying, "what a f***ing night." True dat Wills, true dat.
Cam, being the bitch he is, says he would have given his rose to Onyeka. Is he really this annoying or is he playing it up to the camera? The ceremony finally starts. Tayshia gives a pretty long speech to give JPJ her rose. She seems smitten. Sidney, who hasn't had much screen time, gives her rose to Mike. Yes! Kevin's disappointed. Sidney, you're quiet and I hope you and Mike have a good time together on Paradise but not too good of a time. Hannah is finally called up to give out the final rose. Everyone hopes that she'll choose Dylan over Blake but Chris and I agree that she's likely going to give it to Blake. After a long buildup she finally gives her rose to Dylan. That's a HUGE surprise. You can see Mike beaming behind Blake. It's fantastic. Everyone else is beaming too, except for Blake. Mike's smile is HUGE as Blake looks down at the ground. Oh wait, Kristina still has as rose to give out. I thought Hannah was the last one.
Kristina gives her rose to BLAKE?! WTF??? So just when we thought Blake was gone, he's not. Everyone is stunned. Kevin, Cam and Wills go home. When is Wills going to get his chance at love? Cam is obviously whining on his way out. I'm glad Kevin's gone. He's a weirdo. Wills talks about how Kristina is still clearly very damaged. My words, not his but you could see that's what he meant. Kristina rationalizes her decision by saying she wants Blake to have to watch Dylan and Hannah together. Sure, Kristina.
The Next Day
Despite Kristina saving his ass last night, Blake mopes around and is spiraling into a dark hole. Demi compares him to the turd that won't flush. Caitlyn walks in and I vaguely remember her from Colton's season. Caelynn is worried that Caitlyn is going to steal away Dean. Caitlyn gets the lay of the land and everyone staking their territory. She ends up asking Blake on her date. It turns out he also saw her at Stagecoach but he insists that nothing happened. Right...
Blake and Caitlyn go on their date and they're doing tantra yoga. I'm pretty sure we've seen this yoga couple before. Blake complains how brutal Paradise has been for him. Dude, that's your own fault. Blake fills in Caitlyn on the whole drama, which is a little surprising. She's fine with everything and they start making out.
Blake and Caitlyn get back from their date and shortly afterward Sidney finds a date card with Dylan's name on it. Blake says it's hard to see Hannah smiling and laughing and grudgingly admits he was smiling and laughing with Caitlyn too. Chris asks him how he's doing and he goes on and on and on in a creepy way. Blake comments on Dylan's clinginess (which he is) and questions whether they'll even last outside Paradise (doubtful).
Dylan and Hannah's Date
Dylan says the last few weeks have been the hardest of his life, which is bizarre since in my IG stalking he's posted about his dad dying. This is worse than your dad dying? Really? Hannah thanks Dylan for sticking by her as she jerked him around these few weeks. Coincidentally, Dylan brings up his dad's cancer. I thought his dad had died but maybe he hasn't. But even if he didn't, this time with Hannah has been worse than his dad's cancer? Anyway, he tells Hannah's he's falling in love with her and she tells him she's ready to commit to him. Out of nowhere Aztec warriors emerge from the shadows and put on a show.
Back at the Beach
Back at the beach we see Tayshia and JP's dynamic. JP is such a goof ball. He's ready to get married already. Demi continues to waffle between Dylan and her woman back home. Hannah arrives and says she's here to talk to Demi. That's not weird at all. Hannah claims she wants to see where Demi's head is at right now. Hannah and Demi talk but I space out and the next thing I know, Demi asks Dylan if she can talk to him. She basically says she downplayed the depth of her relationship with the woman back home and she's still confused. It seemed she was maybe going to leave but as of right now she just wanted to tell him that she's confused. Okey-doke.
Demi asks to see Chris Harrison. Everyone thinks she's leaving but I think she's going to ask if the other woman can come to Paradise. But we'll have to wait to find out what she says to Chris because that's the end of tonight's episode.
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