Hey y'all! I wasn't planning on blogging this week's episode for a few reasons:
1) I don't usually blog for Men Tell All because nothing really happens and nothing is ever resolved. There's no real closure.
2) We're leaving on vacation.
But as it's 7:15 in the morning and everyone is sleeping, I thought I'd enjoy a few moments of solitude with Hannah and the guys before the chaos of the day erupts. Also, Chris said they were continuing from last week before kicking off MTA, so here I am.
Hannah's Last Rose Ceremony
Hannah says this is her last Rose Ceremony but it really isn't. She still has the final one where she picks the final guy, but these are details that we don't need to focus on right now. Her dress is...interesting. I remember seeing the previews and she was wearing this dress and it was unclear if it was a dress or a bathing suit. Now I can see why I thought it was a bathing suit. She looks fantastic, she always does, it's just not my thing. But then again, I'm no longer in my mid-20s. Even if I was, I don't think it would be my thing. I digress.
In her ITM, it's clear that Hannah is subdued and isn't ready to say goodbye to one of her guys. Anyway, Peter, Tyler and Jed line up for the Rose Ceremony. Tyler whispers that now they get to wait for the "Great Luke". But obviously he's not going to show up. Or will he? Hannah talks about how glad she is that Luke's gone.
We immediately switch to Luke, vlogging and saying things like, "Hannah thought I wouldn't want to be with her anymore." OMG, this is so f***ed up for so many reasons. But it gets better because Hannah's "sadly mistaken" if she thinks that Luke wouldn't still accept her for screwing other men. He still loves her. I'm sure Hannah is relieved. Hang on a sec while I climb on my soapbox.
My Soapbox
This is far exceeded the point of ridiculousness. This is where the producers step in and don't give Luke any more screen time. He's manipulative and a gas lighter and perhaps most scary, refuses to respect the fact that she sent him home. We saw it the first time she tried to send him home and he essentially refused to leave (remember that?). Even last week, she told him to go to hell and he wouldn't get up from the table. And then when she essentially dragged him to the van, he asked if he could pray for her. Enough is enough. He has dead eyes and by continuing to give him screen time, the Bachelor producers are rewarding his behavior.
Back to the Rose Ceremony
Apparently Luke has some things he still wants to say to her. He thinks she's making a big mistake by letting him go home. It's very foreboding when he says, "She doesn't know it yet, but I'm on my way and I'm coming." Dude. Go find some submissive woman in your misogynist church somewhere. I'm sure there are plenty of beautiful empty vessels there that would accept your crap. But it gets worse--he has a ring.
Hannah walks in to say hi to Chris. Before she can walk out and join the guys, Luke walks in and stands in line for the Rose Ceremony. Like it's totally normal. AGAIN--where are the producers? The guys don't blink because they have no idea Hannah's already kicked him off the show. Back to Chris and Hannah, they chat about how Hannah is dreading sending one of her three guys home. Hannah has heart earrings on again. She loves those heart earrings.
Hannah walks up to the Rose Ceremony and sees Luke. She rolls her eyes and he immediately walks up to her and says he has things he needs to say. She keeps saying no. The guys, not realizing that he's already been kicked off the show, tell him to get back in line. She tells him to just GO.
Since he obviously refuses to listen, he says he needs clarity. She says she has clarity and it's her show, not his. The expressions on Jed's face is fantastic. Actually all three guys' jaws are on the floor as it dawns on them what is happening right now. Hannah stands her ground and lays into Luke. Since he still refuses to listen, the other guys finally step up and start to circle around.
Chris finally sidles up but doesn't say anything. Luke gaslights Hannah AGAIN and says she didn't understand anything that he tried to say the other night. Hannah tells everyone what the Luke said to her. Tyler keeps making comments to Luke and tries to get him to leave. Luke continues to say he was misunderstood and plays the "never have I ever" game.
Chris finally speaks up and asks Hannah what she wants to do. She tells Chris she wants Luke to leave. Luke leaves. Again. Chris tells Hannah that Luke was ready to propose and she's flabbergasted. The guys are giddy that Luke is gone. None of the guys care if they don't get the rose, they're mostly happy that Luke is gone.
And that's it. We don't get to see who gets the final two roses. We have to wait until next week.
Men Tell All
MTA is a lot of Luke on the "hot seat" saying nothing. There are a lot of long pauses. Nothing is truly resolved. Luke is bullied a fair amount, which again, I'd feel a smidge bad about if he wasn't so frightening. This man will likely procreate some day. And will raise little Lukes. That is frightening.
See you next week!
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