Hannah's in Greece!
Hannah's in Greece. It looks gorgeous. Will Hannah be forced to get rid of one of her guys? Or will the Producers spring for an extra suite? Despite wanting to get laid, Hannah assures us that this week isn't about sex. It's about "spending time with the guys away from the cameras". Let's be clear--it's about sex.
Peter's Fantasy Suite
Peter's up first and Hannah's ready to get down and dirty with Peter. They go sailing. It must be cold because for some reason they're not in bathing suits. In fact, Peter doesn't even get out of his jeans. Peter's giddy with Hannah and thinks they're going to have the most fun life together. Peter's still holding back on sharing his feelings with Hannah. It's hard to get a read on Hannah's feelings towards Peter. As much as they clearly have chemistry, she doesn't seem as into him as the other guys.
We see about five minutes of the day date and then all of a sudden it's the evening portion of the date. Peter goes on and on and on. He's clearly nervous and finally spits out that he loves her. I keep hearing what a great Bachelor Peter would be and I think he would, but I don't WANT him as the Bachelor. I want Hannah to pick him. Because it can't be Jed. And I don't think it can be Tyler. But I'm worried she's not going to pick Peter.
Hannah "finds" the note from Chris about the fantasy suite. No surprise they forgo their individual rooms. Will it be the Windmill room? They can't wait to get out of there. It looks like it is the Windmill place. It's really cool looking. They find the box with the condoms and toys.
The next morning it's clear they did the deed. I'm relieved to see that Hannah seems more smitten now. But no rest for the weary because up next is Tyler.
Tyler's Fantasy Suite
Tyler and Hannah get a spa date. They start off with a couples massage and Tyler basically says he wants to jump her bones. He gets up off the massage table and starts massaging Hannah and thankfully the other masseuses leave. As much as Hannah wants to jump his bones too, she sees that their communication needs some work.
Ahem. Things are getting steamy but before things go too far, they finally cut to commercial and when we come back, it's evening. She tells him she can't have sex with him in the Fantasy Suite and if they were to forgo their individual rooms, they'd need to focus on talking and not having sex. Tyler pretends to take this all in stride. He of course has a ready answer and assures her he'll be a gentleman and they can do whatever she wants to do. She of course loves this response. They spend their night on a yacht.
The next morning she thanks him for pretending to not have sex. Hmmm. This makes me feel like she's going to pick Tyler. She cries seeing him leave. Yikes. If Tyler wasn't so young I'd be less worried about his long-term partner potential.n Or she's crying because she knows she's not picking him and just gave up her shot to hvae her one night with Tyler.
Jed's Fantasy Suite
They are really getting through these dates quickly. Jed talks about how he can't understand how Luke wasn't cut in the last Rose Ceremony. The Bachelor producers found a family and paid them to let Hannah and Jed hang out with them for some inexplicable reason. They have an incredibly awkward conversation with the family about how Hannah's going to decide which guy she's going to end up with. Jed finally pulls Hannah away, presumably to save both of them. Or because he's a cry baby and sulking.
Jed pulls Hannah aside and asks for clarity on Luke and why she spends time with Luke. She doesn't say anything initially but asks Jed how honest he wants her to be. She essentially summarizes it as they have a connection that she can't explain. She pulls the "I've seen sides of him that the rest of you guys haven't seen" excuse. She seems pretty close to tears. Jed doesn't seem appeased by her explanation and is concerned that Luke's still in the picture.
We transition to the evening portion of the date and Hannah's ready to explain to Jed that whatever her feelings for Luke, it's separate from her relationship with Jed. Ironically, Hannah says that relationships need to be built on trust, which is funny since Jed allegedly had a girlfriend when he went on the show and allegedly cheated on said girlfriend.
Hannah thanks Jed for bringing up his Luke concerns earlier. She vaguely refers to her own concerns from Colton's season but he needs to butt out. She asks if they're good and he basically says no. She apologizes for her feelings for Luke but continues to insist that the two relationships are separate. Essentially he says there's no way she could possibly have feelings for Luke and Jed. Jed essentially calls her out for keeping Luke around, who is toxic and abusive and that her keeping Luke around changes his feelings for Hannah.
It's unclear if this is calculated or not. This could be Jed's way of getting out of this experience. But we know that he didn't go back to his ex-girlfriend. Does he just have commitment issues? Is he just being a sulky baby? If I trusted or believed a word that came out of his mouth, I'd be pretty impressed. But it feels fabricated and a little childish. Hannah seems a little blown away but also seems in on the fabrication. She's kind of laughing about the whole thing.
She may have been laughing in disbelief, because she quickly gets frustrated with Jed and his sulky behavior. She walks away from the dinner and is clearly pissed off. Jed tries to talk to her but it doesn't seem to go well.
They sit back down and Hannah reiterates again that he needs to trust her decisions. She pulls out the Fantasy Suite card and despite what just happened, they forgo their individual rooms. No surprise. We did not see any discussion of Hannah's concerns around Jed's family and what his family said during last week's Hometown date.
The next morning it's clear these two also got it on. They say their goodbyes and finally we're on to...
Luke's Date
Luke has his cross on full display today. He high-fives her when she tells him they're going to Santorini. He is so annoying. How does Jesus feel about tattoos? Or did Luke get those after a night of sinning?
Hannah again tries to justify her connection with Luke. For the record, I love Hannah's outfit. At one point Hannah said Luke was the best kisser. How can Luke be a better kisser than Tyler or Peter??? I don't buy it but there's an upside for all that sex chasing he did. It's painful to hear Hannah gush about Luke. Luke gushes to Hannah and I feel sick to my stomach at how over the top it is.
Thankfully the day part is over and we transition to the evening. Hannah clearly had a good time on the date and Luke thanks Hannah for taking him on a date that checked off a bucket list item for her. Luke starts rambling about how they're both spiritual leaders in their household (as somebody who is clearly not the spiritual leader in her household, I have no idea what this is. Maybe I am and I just don't know it because I don't know who is the spiritual leader in my house). As he goes on and on, Hannah seems increasingly concerned or bored. He comes across as very "things are going to go the way that I want them to." Are you surprised? No. Then he transitions to his, "Let's talk about sex." sentence. Is your popcorn ready? Here we go!
Luke talks about how the marriage bed should be pure and he hasn't had sex in 3.5 to 4 years (I'm sure he knows the exact amount of time but that's neither here nor there). Hannah's facial expressions are priceless. He goes on and on and on. Hannah does a great job of letting him go on and on and on. And then she responds. She tells him she doesn't agree with what he said and how he said it. She says she's kind of mad because he has no right to say what he said to her because he's not her husband. He asks if he "can cut her off for a second?" And she quietly says "No" and keeps going. She says he has no right to judge or question her. She calls his "sex is a sin" comment and raises him with "pride is a sin too." You throw his bible right back in his face, woman!
He, of course, immediately asks to take a step back from what he said. Is he that spineless or just a gas-lighter? He basically says that even if she had sex with all three guys (a "crazy scenario"), he's willing to work through it. HE IS SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE. You can see the Hannah Beast percolating. She tells him she doesn't owe him any explanation. Then he does the, "You're misunderstanding me AGAIN." He seems genuinely frustrated that Hannah is misunderstanding him. And so begins the gas lighting again.
She goes off and stands up for herself and cuts him off every time he tries to interrupt her. She tells HIM that for him it's clear that having sex with other people is a deal breaker, but he's lacking qualities that SHE wants in her partner, like the ability to get along with other people and not being a total insecure douche. He gives her his trademark mean, empty look. Break for commercial.
After the break he again takes back what he said but again refers to potentially having sex with any of the other guys as a "slip up". She brings up the Bible again, because that's the game he plays, and out plays him again. She says she finally sees the disrespect he's shown the other guys, to her and to himself. She is on point and he continues to look at her blankly. Like he has no idea what she's talking about.
She says there were times she wanted to send him home but she prayed for him. But now she finally knows she doesn't want him as her husband. His jaw almost hits the floor when she says this. He seems visibly taken aback. As taken aback as he can be since he doesn't seem to follow anything she says.
He asks for a chance to speak. She says no. Believe it or not she asks to walk him out, which he doesn't deserve. He asks again if he can speak. Hannah's standing, ready to walk him out and he stays seated. She tells him to get up and go. She basically has to beg him to get up and move. He tells her she owes him something and she says she doesn't owe him ANYTHING. Now she's really getting mad. I don't know if she's wearing a dress or a skirt but it looks fantastic. She tells him to get up and he keeps asking for a minute to talk.
Luke claims that the things he said weren't meant to judge her. He tells her he loves her and sees a future with her. He tells her that he doesn't care that she has clarity because he refuses to get into the van and go. Dude, when a woman says no, she means no. This is frightening. She tells him she did have sex and Jesus still loves her. She tells him she fucked (Peter) in the windmill. She tells US it happened twice. Thank you Jesus! Luke is speechless but still won't get into the car. He just stands there. He asks if he can pray over her before he leaves. I'd scream at him but it's like talking to a moron so she rolls her eyes and says no.
He finally gets into the car and she flips him off. Hannah grabs her wine off the table and says she feels like a weight is finally off her shoulders. Of course we know that he comes back. Partly because it was teased a while ago and partly because we see a menacing video of Luke not taking no for an answer and crashing the Rose Ceremony. We can only hope that either Chris or the producers steps in because Peter, Tyler and Jed shouldn't have to deal with him.
Next Week
I'm a little confused about next week. It seems that there's a Rose Ceremony to whittle it down to the final two guys, which we know Luke crashes, but it's also Men Tell All? Which is fine, because I'll come for the Rose Ceremony and suffer through the Men Tell All, which is always a snooze fest.
Final Questions
Here is what I'm pondering as I anxiously wait for the next two weeks:
- On the two Bachelor-centric podcasts I listen to, the perception seems to be that Peter doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of ending up with Hannah. I whole-heartedly disagree. Who's the crazy one?
- Do we really have to watch Luke crash the next Rose Ceremony? Haven't we reached the point where the fourth wall is broken and one of the Producers can call the police on Luke? Wouldn't that ultimately be more dramatic? Hannah has more than done her fair share of dealing with Luke. His inability to take no for an answer is alarming and should be shut down. No means No. Behavior like this makes me wonder if there are other instances where a woman has said no and he wasn't listened.
- This ultimately suggests she ends up with Jed. What's the over/under on how long they last before she dumps him? Or perhaps she already has?
No comments:
Post a Comment