It's a two-fer this week! There were allegations of impropriety on BIP but everything's since been swept under the rug and thankfully BIP is still happening. Without a doubt, Corinne will settle with ABC for "an undisclosed sum".
Still on the Group Date
As for the Bachelorette, we're still on the longest group date in recent history and Kenny's taking Lee out to have some words with him. The rest of the guys "stay out of it" but are watching the entire drama unfolding.
Oh wait, this is the Bachelorette, not the Kenny and Lee show. Bryan's all in with Rachel. Blah blah blah, he sticks his tongue down her throat.
No, sorry, I'm wrong. We're back to Kenny and Lee. I'll give Kenny credit that he's keeping his cool but he's wasting his breath because he'll get no satisfaction out of confronting Lee because Lee won't admit to doing anything wrong.
Finally finally Rachel comes in to give the rose. I think she's going to give it to Bryan and winner winner chicken dinner! Maybe the rest of the guys (Iggy, Kenny I'm looking at you here) should focus LESS on spending time with Rachel talking about other guys and MORE time talking about themselves.
Somehow Kenny and Lee start arguing again. Eric and Josiah are laughing, entertained by the whole thing.
One-on-One with Jack Stone
Wow, we still have a one-on-one to go? I'd forgotten about Jack. I don't see Jack getting a rose on this date. There's nothing wrong with Jack Stone, he's just...kind of boring. Rach--the fact that you're both attorneys, around the same age and both live in Dallas doesn't suggest to me that you should be good for each other. It just means that you have three random things in common. I'm not seeing the connection there either. Rachel is "sick" and doesn't want to kiss him. Jack is talking this date up big time but you can tell that she's not feeling it.
Back at the House
Will and Lee discuss race relations and the stigma of calling a black man "aggressive". Lee either totally misses the point or is just as racist as has been suggested and says Kenny is playing the race card. Sigh. Will gives Lee the benefit of the doubt and calls him ignorant.
Back at the Date
Jack continues to talk about how quickly his feelings have developed. He's either lying to us or himself. Is it me or does he look creepy in his interviews? Kind of a, "I put on this facade but I'm actually a sociopath," or, "I hope nobody discovers the super creepy wall of everything Rachel I've put up in my apartment." Or something along those lines. I liked it better when he was just boring and not creepy or weird.
Rachel's not feeling the passion. There's something so odd about him and you can tell Rachel thinks he's odd too. I'm right! He's super creepy! He'd capture Rachel in his apartment and lock the door. Poor Jack is expecting a rose but it seems like he's putting on a show more than being sincere. Jack Stone doesn't like getting dumped on national TV. He's definitely taking down the Rachel wall when he gets home. I'm not sure what Jack said in the car, if anything, because they never showed it. He'll be forgotten like those dismissed before him.
The Rose Ceremony
Rachel decides to cancel the cocktail party. There's no discussion of Jack Stone's departure so apparently nobody is torn up about it. Iggy freaks out about the cancelled party. Kenny's concerned too but we know he's safe at least for a little bit because him and Lee are going on a two-on-one. I don't know how many guys are going home but Adam and Iggy are certainly on my list as high-risk for going home. Iggy, if you don't think you're part of the drama then you're part of the problem (that sounded more profound in my head). Wow, Adam gets a rose. Kenny makes some play on words that includes Lee, snakes and lizards.
Tickle Monster's time has ended and I'm amazed he made it this far. Maybe he'll end up on BIP. Despite his annoying tickling, he was dorky in a cute way. And apparently he's a physician? I see him as the new Evan. Thankfully Iggy's gone. Of course he cries.
We must move forward everyone--we're going to Norway next! I'm 100% positive that we won't find out in this episode who Rachel picks on the Kenny/Lee two-on-one, but the good news is we should find out in the next one!
Oslo, Norway
We get the obligatory shots of both Rachel and the men skipping around Norway. Rachel meets them in a pub and grabs Ryan for a one-on-one. Lee, clueless as ever, looks puzzled. Dean thinks that Bryan may not come back with a rose but I think Dean is delusional. Bryan would need to seriously eff this date up to not get a rose. Rachel can't understand why Bryan is single, but many would say the same about you, Rach, so give him a chance.
Back at the House
Eric doesn't directly call Rachel a racist but calls her out to Anthony on why only one black guy has gotten a one-on-one. Anthony seems to talk him off the ledge a bit and tells him he's reading too much into it.
Back at the Bryan Date
Rachel continues to think Bryan is too good to be true. She shares how her big sister was always the pretty one and she was the cool one so when she finally became "pretty" in college she didn't know how to react to it. Bryan attempts to relate to her by saying he didn't become pretty until senior year of high school. Sigh. Rachel doubts this as much as I do. Bryan declares his wuv feelings for Rachel. She swoons. And sorry Dean, but she gives Bryan the rose.
Back at the House
The door knocks for a date card. It's a group date card but Kenny and Lee aren't on the list and as a result are going on the two-on-one. Bryan and Kenny discuss Kenny's "plan of attack" for tomorrow. Sadly, Iggy would have been a better choice to handle this conversation more effectively because he's a consultant. But before we get to the two-on-one, which might start on this week's episode but certainly won't conclude, we need to get through the next group date.
The guys find out they'll be playing hand ball, a popular Norwegian sport. Coach Tom may be the Belichick of handball. Apparently Will and Alex have both played handball. The guys are all falling over themselves to get their paws on Rachel in some form or another. Why is Dean wearing his cup on the outside?
Back at the House
Kenny Facetimes with his daughter and it's adorable. Kenny needs to decide who he wants more--to go back to his daughter or stay and fight it out? Has Lee even kissed Rachel yet?
Back at the Date
Will and Rachel have a heart to heart. Rachel eats it up. Alex reads Rachel a letter, which she also eats up. Basically all of them bring physical or emotional gifts to the altar of Rachel. Then we get to Josiah, who lays it on super-thick and thankfully Rachel's not buying it. To Rachel's comments, I think he wants to win the competition more than he wants to win Rachel. I don't think Rachel's feedback really resonates (one has to be open to feedback to accept it) and overcompensates by bragging to the guys how well the conversation went.
Peter and Rachel end up in the hot tub. The other guys are nowhere to be found. Before she gives the rose out, I think it's going to be Peter since she and him were clearly at the hot tub for awhile. Presumably she spent the most time with the guy she wanted to spend the most time with and nobody came out to interrupt them. But we'll see. Maybe she'll surprise us. If she does, I'll pick Will. Surprise! It is Will, Peter's clearly disappointed and feels a little used. It doesn't feel great, does it Peter? To get used like that?
Waiting for the Two-on-One
It is awkward as the guys wait around for Rachel to show up for the two-on-one. The two-on-ones are known to be epic. It usually involves a villain. Chris Soules sent both women home on his two-on-one (I think, right? Ashley I and the weird widow? How pathetic is it that I remember that and yet I couldn't tell you what I did over the weekend? And I can rattle off the two-on-ones for Ben, Jojo, and Nick?). Will this be a case of both men getting sent home?
Also, I don't know why, but it bugs the crap out of me to see somebody younger than 60 wearing a Rolex. Maybe because most of the younger guys that I've known who had them were entitled tools. Lee is not breaking stereotypes. I digress.
The Date Begins
They are in the wilderness (also a common theme for the two-on-ones). Rachel pulls Kenny aside first and she looks like she's freezing. Rachel wants to trust him but I don't think she's at the point where her feelings are as strong for him, regardless of the Lee/Kenny dynamics. Rachel pulls Lee aside and Lee immediately starts talking about Kenny and starts lying his ass off. Now Rachel's more confused than ever.
Rachel pulls Kenny aside AGAIN to tell Kenny what Lee had said. Obviously we have to wait until tonight to find out what happens. I can't remember the last time I wrote a post less than 24 hours after it aired. Hazzah!
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