The Bachelorette: Week 3

When we left things last week, DeMario had just showed up.  Let's get right to it shall we?

Rachel is told by the producers she has to speak to DeMario is impressed that DeMario had the guts to come to the mansion and out of respect goes to hear him out.  The guys come out with torches in the interest of kicking his butt.  DeMario wants to move forward and gain Rachel's trust back.  He begs her to let him come back but Rachel isn't having any of it.  She tells him he's acting like a boy and she needs a man.  He seems to have moved on because word has it he's on the next season of BIP.  DeMario doesn't seem that disappointed by Rachel's rejection.  Any other dude that isn't being real best watch out because Rachel will show you to the curb too.

The men feel great about DeMario's rejection, part deux.  Remember when I said Tickle Monster was kind of cute?  Yeah I take that back.  He comes out with super weird large hands.  Kenny continues to push very hard on the single dad thing.

Blake's obsession with Whaboom continues.  With any luck they'll both be gone tonight.  Whaboom tells Rachel about Blake standing over Whaboom's bed licking a banana.  Rachel has the most bizarre follow-up conversation with Blake about this peeled banana incident.  Blake denies on the basis that he doesn't eat carbs.  Of course!

Rose Ceremony
Thankfully Chris walks in to start the rose ceremony.  Tickle Hands gets a rose relatively early on.  Alex shows off by speaking Russian.  I wouldn't choose Alex because he wears a bow tie, so he's clearly trying too hard.  Brady (the male model? who hasn't gotten any screen time yet this season) also gets a rose.  Lee the potential racist gets a rose.  Iggy's sweating and will be in tears at some point.  Whaboom makes comments throughout the ceremony.  Even Fred gets a rose.  The final rose goes out to Diggy and by the grace of God, Blake and Whaboom are GONE.  I couldn't tell you the name of the third guy who didn't get the rose.  Blake, being clueless, gives Rachel his opinion of getting eliminated.  He also blames Lucas, not realizing he's just as annoying as Whaboom.  Lucas continues to push Blake's buttons.  To be honest I'd push Blake's buttons too because it seems like it would be really fun.  It's pretty amazing that Blake says Lucas is attention seeking since they were on the same reality show prior to joining the Bachelorette.

Brand New Day
Thankfully we finally say goodbye to Lucas and Blake and we move on.  Chris comes in with the first date card for this week--group date #1.  And it's the Ellen one.  It turns out Ellen is a super fan too and gives her opinion of the various guys as they get out of the van.  Ellen agrees that Tickle Monster needs to go.  The guys find out they'll be on the show .  The guys take their shirts off and dance in the audience.  Will is grinding and twerking as is Alex.  Can you imagine how weird this would be if it was the woman who had to take their clothes off?  Tickle Monster had a better body than I would have thought.  Then they play "Never have I ever".  Alex is wearing some sort of gangster pants for Russians.  They're not track pants but they're some sort of odd workout pants.  I'm not sure why the guys are so surprised that Rachel's kissed multiple guys.  It's week three people!  I think Freddy's days are numbered.

At the night part of the date, Alex wins points with Rachel.  She goes off and makes out with quite a few of them (which sounds WAY more judgey than it sounds).  Freddy's very insecure that he hasn't kissed her.  He asks her if it's okay and the whole interaction seemed awkward.  Rachel didn't seem into it so I'm guessing he was into it and she wasn't.  Tickle Monster didn't appear to get any action at all.

Rachel picks up the rose and takes Fred away, implying he'll get the rose.  But...then Rachel starts talking and it's clear he isn't.  She lets him down easy and sends him away.    And she's still holding that rose.  They have a very awkward elevator ride down and she says goodbye.  After she gets back to the group Alex, now wearing purple pants, gets the rose.

The guys are all falling in love with Rachel.  Sigh.  Of course they are.  They've never felt this way about a girl, like evah.  Eric's feeling insecure and I'm guessing he's going home soon too.

One-on-One Date
The show randomly transitions to Anthony, who apparently got the one-on-one date card.  I don't have a vibe yet on Anthony but it looks like they're riding horses on Rodeo Drive.  Nothing can go wrong here.  Apparently you can ride horses on Rodeo Drive.  Who knew?  I'd be very nervous riding a horse for the first time down Rodeo Drive.  And...you can take the horses inside the stores too.  At least into Western stores.  Ted (the horse) poops in the store.  Again with the pixelating poop.

They don't show Anthony getting the date card but they do show the date card "ceremony" for the second date.  Eric continues to freak out.  Brady the Model finally gets a date.  Maybe we'll hear him speak.

Anthony seems far too normal to be on this show.  He had a loving upbringing and  "perfect childhood".  He's keeping his skeletons in the closet for now.  They make out in front of the quartet and the quartet awkwardly tries to look anywhere else so they don't have to watch.

Iggy is annoyed that Eric is attempting to steal away the "most insecure" award from him and has some words for Eric.  The interaction makes no sense so it's not even worth commenting on.

Group Date #2
Eric continues to whine.  Rachel comes in with her posse which includes Raven, Corrine, Jasmine and Alexis.  Interestingly enough, all four of them are on BIP.  Am I the only one that thinks that it wouldn't have been asking too much for Raven to have worn a shirt with two sides?  Everyone else, even Corinne(!), is dressed semi-normally and not like the one that's on the date. Raven--it's not your date.  These are Rachel's guys.  They'll be dismissed soon enough and will be your future prey on BIP but not yet honey.  The guys do pole dances on the bus.  They are way too good at it and it's creepy.

The guys find out they're going mud wrestling.  This is both awkward and awesome.  Anytime the men are objectified as much as the women on the Bachelor seasons I'm down.  Kenny's a little too excited since this is his thing. The guys look so awkward.  The women on the sidelines yell demeaning things to the men.  Are there multiple Jack S's?  Why does Jack go by his full name?  Because it makes him sound like a superhero's alter ego?  "Hi, I'm Jack Stone.  Lawyer by day, superhero by night." Shockingly Bryce beats Kenny in the final.  Most of the guys look uncomfortable.  Rachel's friends are just as enamored by Dean and his teeth.  Raven warns Rachel about Eric.  Corinne looks perplexed the whole time.

At the evening portion of the group Kenny, kicks things off by revealing to Rachel that he used to be a Chippendale's dancer and shows her some of his moves.  Oddly enough, she seems to be into it.  Eric pulls her aside and he shares how vulnerable he feels blah blah blah.  Rachel shares that he's the latest who's not there "for the right reasons".  Even though we have no idea why the guys think that, Eric is a worse actor than DeMario and gives his version of a confused/perplexed face.

Eric immediately goes back to confront the guys.  Somehow this translates into it's not that he's not here for the right reasons, it's that he's never been in love.  Which is apparently a prerequisite for the show now.  And then it changed to how was Eric screaming at Iggy the night before.  Lee keeps telling Eric he loves him to death.  Eric thinks that Lee's afraid of him because he's now seen Eric as "angry black man", which I think is spot on.

Surprisingly, Rachel gives the rose to Eric.  Lee is not happy and very fakely tells Eric how happy he is for him.

Cocktail Party
After the break it's cocktail party time.  Iggy, yet again concerned that he's going to get cut, pulls Rachel aside to further defame Eric and share his interaction with Eric.  Perhaps Iggy's time would have been better spent talking about himself and not Eric. Iggy then tells Eric what he did.  Iggy actually tells Eric what his "opportunities for growth" are.  Then Slimy Lee throws Eric under the bus.  Rachel is confused about the Eric that the guys describe and the Eric she sees.  Rachel's not into the drama and tells Eric she's questioning her decision to give him the rose.  Rachel gives him a warning and lets him keep the rose for now.  

Eric summons all the guys in the room and starts giving a crazy ass speech.  Bryan's uncomfortable with Mr. Crazy.  Lee and Eric go at it and I could care less who's in the right or wrong here.  Oh my gosh, the drama.  These men need to stop being little bitches.

Coming Next Week
Race relations is a front and center topic next week.  Rachel gets upset because she didn't want to address race relations on her season.  She's just looking for love people, and shouldn't love be color blind?

Credits
We finally hear the model talk.  He doesn't sound at all what I thought he would.  Thankfully Brady's here to break the stereotypes of male models.  They're just like us!  He shows Rachel one of his go-to modeling moves, the Booger Roll.  It's as gross as you'd might expect.  I'm pretty sure Rachel's not impressed.  You want to talk about a guy that's there for the wrong reasons?  How about the male MODEL?  My guess is he'll head straight to BIP and when he shows up people will say, "who is that"?