So admittedly, I've lost a little enthusiasm this week. The episode begins right where things left off last week--at the Cocktail Party. Blake and Becca begin planning how many children they want and their names, so it appears that Blake pretty much has this in the bag at this point. Can we just move on to BIP and pray that this season isn't also ruined by sexual assault? Is that too much to ask?
Cocktail Party (Still)
The guys are talking about David and Lincoln wants him gone, but not as a result of an injury. Jordan takes credit for David's injury because seemingly Jordan thinks that God does things for him. David has left the hospital (possibly AMA but probably not) and he doesn't look THAT bad. Jordan's pissed because he comes back right when Jordan was talking to Becca. To make matters worse, Becca's happy to see David and pulls him aside immediately to talk to him.
Rose Ceremony
I'm over Jordan's self-absorption. Becca gives David a rose so he can go to bed. Finally the Rose Ceremony starts. Obviously Jordan will get a rose because him and David need to be on the two-on-one together. Nick shows up in a track suit and he looks super sleazy. Bizarrely, he gets a rose. Thankfully Leo is sticking around for another week. The last rose goes to Jean Blanc. Ryan/Banjo guy and Mike/ESPN guy, we hardly knew thee. Seriously, neither one of you got any screen time.
Becca tells the guys it's time to pack up because they're heading to Utah.
Garret's One-on-One
Garrett gets this week's first date and Becca still seems rather smitten with him. I always wonder if the producers give them spending money on these dates or if they're expected to bring their own money.
Back at the house, Lincoln gets more unwarranted screen time because he thinks the earth is flat. Please stop talking. After the break, John is forced to awkwardly listen to Jean Blanc discuss what a great connection he has with Becca. John, who by some miracle hasn't been sent home yet, thinks Jean needs to chill the f*** out.
Back at the date, Becca continues to gush about Garrett. They go up a ski lift without wearing skis. I was nervous about how they would dismount the lift, but since there's nobody at the mountain, somebody seems to stop the lift. As it turns out, they're going bobsledding. Of course they're being taught by two former Olympians. Silver medalists, as a matter of fact. Admittedly, the professional bobsledders don't seem very enthusiastic about being on the show, but since they won their medals 12+ years ago, they're women, and bobsledding doesn't seem to result in lucrative endorsements, here they are. As it turns out, the two women are married. Garrett pretends to be cool with this but there's a split second where his face is a little grossed out. You saw it, right?
It's the evening part of the date and Garrett would need to do something epicly terrible to not get the rose. Becca tells Garrett that he reminds her of her dad. Whoa, Garrett drops the bombshell that he was previously married. I didn't see that coming. He was married for two whole months! Of course, Becca internally freaks out about this. What if he feels like he's forced to propose before he's ready and then changes his mind? Because I'm not sure if you're aware, but that's happened to her before.
Back at the house, the group date card arrives and Wills, who has gotten pretty minimal screen time, gets the other one-on-one for the week.
Back at the date, Becca asks Garrett why his marriage broke up. He says she was emotionally abusive and he ignored the red flags. He says nobody in his "bloodline" had ever been divorced before. Bloodline? Anyway, he assures her he's all in. Becca thanks him for sharing his dirty laundry on national TV. Obviously he gets the rose and they transition to the awkward unknown country musical act.
Group Date
Becca's on a massive group date with 13 guys. John's in it to get the rose and prove his manliness in other ways since he's obviously going to suck at a lumberjack competition (which sounded more judgey than it came out). As is the theme this week, they're being taught some lumberjack skills by some professional lumberjacks that are also together IRL. This is a hetero relationship. I would have loved two guys but I'm not sure the Bachelor producers are ready for that.
Most of the guys are doing really well. Even Jordan and John are able to split a piece of wood. However, Jean Blanc, Lincoln and Chris struggle. I was a little surprised that Chris struggled.
Next up is ax throwing, log throwing. The log throwing is pretty tough but again John prevails. The guys are split into teams. Leo is ready for the boys and men to separated. As am I, Leo, as am I. Flannel shirts are involved. It's a race to the finish in a pole climbing race between Jon and Blake. John wins and Becca gives him a Golden Axe. It's not a rose, but it might give him an edge.
For the evening portion, most of the guys ignored her request that they keep their flannel on. Becca is again in red. Jason pulls her aside first. I might like this guy more if his hair wasn't so greasy. He plays the "I'm embracing my emotions" card which Becca eats up.
Becca asks Colton if he's ever been in love. He says yes--once.
Jean Blanc is up next. Jean "created" a perfume for her. I assume this isn't a real perfume he created. Their conversation gets super weird. Becca's not feeling JB (as I've now decided to refer to him). Leo interrupts them and he's wearing an awesome jacket but we don't see their interaction. JB feels unfulfilled by how his time with Becca went and goes in for round two. Jean Blanc puts himself out there and says he's falling for Becca. Becca calls him out on his BS and says that it's too early for him to be saying stuff like that. She also says she doesn't feel the same way. He backtracks and asks if they should take a step back but she passes on that too and kicks him out.
Because he doesn't think he's made enough of an ass of himself, as they're walking out, he asks about the perfume, which Becca's confused about (as am I). He continues to try and persuade Becca and then tells her that he told her that he doesn't feel that strongly about her, he just told her what she wanted to hear. It's super awkward and I'm disappointed she didn't lay into him more for saying what she wanted to hear, but perhaps she really didn't care that much anyway.
But as Becca joins the remaining guys, she's clearly pissed and shares what JB said and tells them that if anyone else wants to pull the same shit they can just go home. She says she's not giving out a rose tonight and syas she'll see them at the rose ceremony.
Brand New Day/Wells' Date
Becca shares that she's emotionally exhausted. The guys discuss how wrong what JB did was. Wills is scared to death about facing Becca for his date. He says he's ready for the challenge but I don't think he is. Becca's clearly off today. This should be a fantastic date. Becca tells Wills that she's not going to focus on last night meaning she's really going to focus on last night.
They go snowmobiling and what's the over/under that they'll run into a hot tub? Not literally, although that would be entertaining. Sadly, no hot tub is involved, but there is a fire and champagne. Shockingly, Becca talks about last night but Wills does seem to get Becca out of her head. According to her he lifts her spirits. But he's not off the hook yet. For the evening portion, she's ready to ask Wills the tough questions. Wills shares that he's been in Becca's situation. He was ready to go all in with somebody who wanted a hall pass. Hahahaha, I'm sorry, I had to laugh that somebody actually attempted to cash in on that, especially when a hall pass is typically reserved for a CELEBRITY. Or so I thought.
Wills seems to touch on all of Becca's insecurities in the sense that he has the same ones as her. Whether it's genuine or not is hard to tell, but he seems genuine. While I'm not sensing a strong attraction between the two, but Wills gets the rose. Wills looks stoned to me all the time. His eyes are always half open. I like it when I see the whites of his eyes (that sounded racist but it's not meant that way) and he's growing on me. More so than the likes of Blake, Colton and Garrett. Thankfully there is not an awkward musical act.
Cocktail Party?
Going into the cocktail party, Nick, who I can't believe has lasted this long, is bitter that JB's antics cut off his potential time with Becca the other night. The guys are all sitting on the couch either being forced to reiterate things they've already said off camera (best case) or just having to make small talk with all 15 guys smooshed together on couches (worst case). Chris walks in and tells the guys there's no cocktail party tonight. Instead, they're heading straight to the rose ceremony.
Rose Ceremony
Colton seems to feel good but knows other guys feel nervous. Becca looks extra decked out tonight. Becca gets into her speech and I'm impressed by the amount of pocket squares so many of the guys have. The rose ceremony begins and Leo gets the first rose this week. Didn't see that coming. We're forced to listen to Lincoln go on. His accent seems to evolve. Connor's nervous but gets a rose. Sadly Lincoln makes it through another week. The scene continues to be set for the Jordan/David two-on-one. Jordan squeaks by with the final rose, eliminating Nick (again, I can't believe he lasted as long as he did) and Christon. Christon was adorable but was possibly there for self-promotion. He's not overly upset. Nick is more disappointed and blames himself for not putting himself out there more.
Becca tells the remaining guys that they're going from Mormon country to the City of Sin. Jordan compares himself to a sponge but it doesn't make any sense, but he's ready to move on from his status of Captain Underpants. Until next week, all. And by next week, I mean the episode that aired yesterday.
Do I need a new guilty pleasure? I'm not sure. I'm not loving any of the guys (except maybe Leo). But who are we kidding? I'll suck it up for yet another week.
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