Hi all! Have we recovered from poor Dean's departure? He's heading to BIP so I think he'll be just fine. After last week's Hometowns, it looks like they're going to Spain where she'll finally get some action (if she wants and no slut shaming if she bangs all three) and the guys will meet Rachel's family. It's implied that Bryan's in particular doesn't go well, but we know how the producers can toy with us at times. I still don't know what I missed when Peter was going to make Rachel cry a week or two ago. Anyhoo, you'd think I'd know the drill by now, but I don't. It appears they're starting with the family meet and greets so let's get to it.
Okay, I thought fantasy suites happened before the final two guys met her family. It turns out that Rachel's sister is going to give birth imminently so Rachel's mixing things up.
Peter Meets Rachel's Family
Peter's up first. They go shopping for Rachel's nephew and nephew-to-be. Peter's sweating a bit that not only did he not declare his love for Rachel, he told her he might not even propose to her. Peter tells her he's falling in love with her. Rachel is psyched and says she's falling in love with him too, but we all know this doesn't guarantee anything. Damn, Rachel's family lives in a mansion. We are introduced to Rachel's creepy brother-in-law again. This time Rachel just says that her dad won't meet any of these guys and doesn't use the "he's working" excuse.
Peter's rambling and Rachel's family is staring at him like they have to appear to be interested in him and the dinner but they can't wait for it to be over. Constance likes him enough but is skeptical. Constance and Rachel go off and talk about Peter. As the token white guy in the group, the creepy brother-in-law talks to Peter and points out that Rachel is not perfect and asks Peter what his concerns are. The two that come to mind for me are "1) How often do I have to interact with you and 2) Can you stop having children so I can stop thinking about the fact that you have had sex at least twice with Rachel's sister because the thought of you having sex grosses me out?" But that's just me. Peter answers very smoothly that he's worried that he hasn't seen any red flags yet, which is close to the interview question of "My greatest weakness is I work too much and I'm a perfectionist."
Rachel next meets with her mom (Kathy) and Kathy asks Rachel what HER red flags are about Peter. Rach states the obvious about Peter not knowing if he'll propose.
Next Peter meets with Rachel's mom. WhenKathy asks what it is he likes about Rachel, he doesn't answer the question, just goes on about his feelings again and how he can't ask her and Rachel's dad for their permission and he doesn't know if he'll propose in two weeks. Hey, at least he's honest. Rachel's mom really likes this about Peter and tells him that's fine as long as he's serious about Rachel and isn't going to dump her right after the show. Kathy gives the thumbs up for Peter.
Eric Meets the Fam
The guys appear to have to sit in the lounge area of their suite making forced chit chat. It's Eric's turn next. Eric and Rachel have come a long way. Bryan gets catty about the fact that Eric has never been in love and pumps Peter for information. Bryan's clearly feeling cocky and Peter perfectly articulates that in his interview. Peter then tells Bryan that he doesn't want to hang out with him. Hahahaha.
Oh wait, there's a date happening. Eric's really nervous. While Eric's never introduced a girl to his family, two of his exes thought he was worthy enough to meet their families. so he's not a total novice.
Am I the only one that is creeped out by the BIL? Eric gives his speech about his upbringing. Constance immediately takes him aside and begins grilling him. Eric, to his credit, is very straightforward with her sis. He seems to win her over despite the love (or lack thereof) thing. Next Eric talks to Rachel's mom. He makes her pitch to her. Eric asks Kathy for Rachel's hand in marriage. She gives a vague answer that says she'll go along with whatever Rachel wants. Thankfully we're not forced to see an interaction with Eric and the BIL, probably because the BIL is white and Eric isn't. Did that come out racist? It wasn't meant to be.
Guys--we still need to get through Fantasy Suites! I'm exhausted already and we still have to get through Bryan's s*** show of a family meet and greet.
Bryan Meets the Fam
Bryan's feeling cocky. Bryan and Rachel are both wearing their watches, which disappoints Peter and Eric. Peter and Eric are ready for Bryan to get taken down a few pegs. Bryan gets to meet Rachel's girlfriends. Please let them be her real girlfriends and not Bachelorette girlfriends. They're her real girlfriends. This is huge for Bryan though because neither Peter nor Eric did this and despite Peter, Eric and my reservations about Bryan, I think it's his final rose to lose at this point.
Rachel admits that she thought Bryan was going to end up being a d-bag but I think there's still time. Remember, he's hidden his rage about the disrespect he feels about being a chiropractor and not a real doctor. Bryan charms the girlfriends and then they head over to Rachel's mansion. It cracks me up that her family seems well coached on being excited even though this is the third date. Bryan's still feeling cocky.
Side note: Okay, I thought that Bryan had said last week that he was his mom's only child and then a sister(?) was there although she was never introduced (that I saw). I had started to write a whole thing about it in last week's blog, but then I took it all out because I thought I'd misunderstood Bryan and Rachel's conversation before he brought her home. So I guess it was his step sister? Or maybe him and his mom don't count the sister as a real sister because she's a sister and not a brother and therefore inferior?
Yikes, Bryan talks about how his mom is always the number-one woman in his life. RUN AWAY RACHEL, VERY VERY QUICKLY. Kathy asks Bryan whose side he'll pick if Rachel and his mom bump heads and he starts to say his loyalty will be with his wife but then he gets super vague and Kathy presses again on whose side he'd choose and he doesn't immediately say Rachel, which implies he'll pick his mom. Rachel chimes in and points out he already said his loyalty would be with his wife but Rach's family isn't buying it. Kathy knew that Rach didn't like the questions but she didn't care. Go Kathy! Bryan is the most exuberant about his love and it's backfiring on him big time. I can't wait to see how things go down with Bryan and Constance. Creepy BIL gives his creepy stare. The body language of Rachel's family is pretty epic. I love the group interview feel of this dinner. "Describe a decision you made that wasn't popular and how you handled implementing it." The uncle asks a question and rather than answering the question, Bryan excuses himself.
Rachel knows this isn't going well and tells her mom she's annoyed. Kathy doesn't care. BIL tells Rachel her reaction is "very emotional right now" and if I was Rachel I would throttle him. It's unclear if Bryan ever came back to the table because after the commercial break Rachel is talking to the BIL. For some reason Rachel and him seem to have a good relationship and she doesn't seem creeped out by him.
Now it's time for Constance and Bryan to chat. She tells him she's not convinced by his love. He tries to persuade her and she's still not convinced. Kathy's not convinced either in her conversation with Rachel. Rachel defends the Bachelorette process. Next up is Bryan and Kathy talking. Bryan asks for Kathy's blessing and she gives it because she trusts Rachel's judgment, not because she likes Bryan.
Spain
Now it's Fantasy Suite time as we head to Spain. We have thirty minutes to get through three dates and that's an aggressive timeline. Also, I'm trying to get this banged out before I pack for vacation and I'm feeling the time crunch. They are in Rioja and it looks gorgeous. Rachel reviews all of the guys as a time filler.
Eric
Eric is up first and Rachel's concerned about Eric's capacity for being in love. Eric has suddenly become in touch with his feelings, which is convenient and could put him in second place if Peter can't get out of his head. The first part of the date is going well enough and I'm bored.
Rach looks so much better when she doesn't have a ton of makeup on, like she does now. Eric takes us through the journey of their relationship and Rachel keeps interrupting him with questions. No surprise, Eric declares his love because he knows he needs to if he wants to get any tonight. No shocker, they're both into the Fantasy Suite.
Peter
Peter's up next. They're at a winery and the wine guy only speaks Spanish and they clearly have no idea what he's talking about. Rachel picks up words based on her high school Spanish. Oh boy now he starts singing. Peter looks pissed for some reason but maybe he's just uncomfortable. Dude, let them start drinking wine. The great news is they get a wine locker of sorts. I'd take what I could if I were them because it's unclear if this locker is permanent or not. My guess is not.
Peter tells Rachel that he asked her mom for permission to keep dating Rachel. They don't get a chance to discuss this because they're interrupted by an adorable little girl. Rachel has every intention of going back to the conversation.
It's nightime and Rachel's ready to get back to their previous conversation. Peter shares his family tradition of saving a wine cork and I like the premise but then it gets very complicated and there's no way I could write all that stuff on a tiny little cork. Rachel reiterates that she didn't do this experience to get a boyfriend. She wants to get engaged but that doesn't mean she has a timeline on getting married. Peter disagrees and doesn't want to propose unless he knows he wants to marry someone. Oh Peter, haven't you watched this show?
This takes their relationship to a screeching halt. This doesn't seem to bode well for the fantasy suite though. But alas, we need to wait two weeks to find out what happens because next week is The Men Tell All. I had forgotten about most of these guys. What will happen? Will Peter say goodbye? I'll be counting down the days...
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