The big day's finally here! Chris drones on about Nick's endless search for love. How does Chris say this script with a straight face? Oh, the money probably helps.
Rovaniemi looks lovely and apparently is where Santa Claus lives. The producers have flown Nick's whole family up. We are reminded that Raven's already met some of Nick's family. Side note: Is it me or does Nick's dad look like Robin Williams? I keep waiting for him to say something funny and snarky.
Raven: They are incorporating Nick's sister Bella in a weird way. I guarantee I would spill wine on that white couch. You try and look at Nick's dad and not see Robin Williams. Raven's hitting it out of the park with the fam. Sigh. Let's go over this again--Nick gets to choose. Seriously, has ANY woman not said yes to a proposal on this show? I mean really? They're going to say yes. Well the way that they're showing Vanessa she might say no.
Vanessa: Wow, is it me or is the body language of Nick's family off? They don't seem to like her. Yes, Vanessa of course you need more time together. Nick's mom gives her a funny look, like, "I don't think you get this show." Vanessa--you live in reality. The Bachelor is the opposite of reality. Nick's dad seems to see that Vanessa and Nick may not be a good match even though she's his "type". Oh my god why is his dad crying? Is he thinking of all of the things he's given up for Nick's mom? Oh now Vanessa's crying. Holy shit this is weird and awkward. There's no interaction between Bella and Vanessa that we see.
The way that they're building this up, my guess is he's going to propose to Vanessa and she's going to reject him. Or is that what they want us to think? Oh Bachelor Producers, stop f***ing with us.
Nick's family reminds him about his previous rejections and how he could possibly get rejected again.
Chris reminds us that there will a "jaw dropping event" and he's not joking.
Vanessa: Vanessa and Nick get one last day together and she's not leaving without answers. I'm not sure whose pants are tighter--Nick's or Vanessa's. Vanessa, if he wears skinny jeans that's reason enough to reject him right there. They ride horses and come upon a shed. And who's in the shed? Santa. Time out:
1) I'm pretty sure they don't call Santa "Santa" in Finland. At least he seems to be in a more Finland-like outfit and not the standard American Santa outfit.
2) This is a pretty fake looking Santa as Santas go.
3) Since when does Santa hang out in a shed?
Time in. If Santa gets too close to that fire he's going to go up in flames. Santa goes off to get a present and they unwrap it and it's Andi's book! It's not but I had you there, didn't I? It's some random wood burning heart thing. I did something like that in wood shop once, it was fun. But no more fun because it's time for Vanessa and Nick to start talking again. She's putting more pressure on this engagement than on the marriage itself. The conversation goes about as well as past conversations, so not very well. Vanessa--you need to listen to your gut. Run away!
Sigh. Vanessa, you're tiring me. He does have feelings for another woman. That's the whole point of this show. However, Vanessa, there is no way you're going to get all of your questions answered. The unknown is scary for a lot of people. Maybe I'm just not romantic enough but relationships (and wuv) shouldn't be that hard. Relationships can be hard, don't get me wrong, but they shouldn't be THAT HARD ALL THE TIME. It shouldn't be your wuv keeping the two of you together. If you're madly in love with each other but your relationship is that hard, then there's something wrong. Nick is probably the most articulate he's been with Vanessa but she doesn't really get any answers because she doesn't understand the show.
Raven: Wow, Chris asks "Is Nick going to let America down?". That's harsh. Thankfully we're back to Raven. I love Raven. She's so much more low-key. They have a lovely ice skating montage to "Kiss Me" from She's All That. It's easy, they have fun. But why do you sense that Nick wants something more? They make out lying on the ice because that's their thing. Making out on the ground whether it's mud or ice. Nick goes off and brings back some husky puppies which are freaking adorable.
Nick comes over for dinner and tells Raven how he's still conflicted. Raven goes in for the final pitch by telling him she'd be all in if he proposed. Nick talks about how great it would be with Raven but we'll see if it's good enough. I suspect it's not.
Proposal day: It's here folks! Is Nick going to let Raven or Vanessa down easy before they get into their pretty dresses? Nick's contemplating his big decision and Neil Lane shows up. They look at rings.
It doesn't look like he's going to let one of them down easy. I wonder if that's part of their contract? That they can't do what Andi did? They build up the anticipation with all three of them getting ready and talking about who knows what. Thankfully he's not going to propose to the women in the freezing cold, they're inside.
The car pulls up....and Raven gets out. I knew it. I'm so bummed. Oh boy, Nick, cut her off. Please. He looks so uncomfortable. However, this might get more interesting if Vanessa turns him down. Raven knows. Well Raven, at least you got your first orgasm out of this experience. Maybe it's time to leave Hoxie though. Can I just say that I really like Raven's dress? Wait! Her coat! Nick, for crying out loud, it's freezing, get her effing coat.
Raven, the issue is you live in freaking Arkansas where apparently men either don't know how to give women orgasms or don't care. And by all men in Arkansas I mean your one boyfriend but based on what we saw of your dad, let's just say it seems more old fashioned down there. Also, isn't that weird crazy religious family who doesn't believe in birth control from Arkansas? The Duggars right? You'll find yourself a fella, I'm not worried. Also, you're 25 so simmer down.
Vanessa's turn. Nick's already crying. Nick proclaims his love and Vanessa's face is hard to read but it turns out okay. He proposes, she says yes. She's sobbing. Is it me or do they seem like the two least exuberant people to get engaged on this show? Is it just that they're reserved? Or do they know that they're doomed?
It's a snow day so I have to do a little bit of work but don't you worry, I'll be back for my final post on After The Final Rose.
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