- The house band at the bar might be pretty bad if they don't get rank getting an acknowledgement of who they are.
- How fantastic would it be if Jed showed up as a future musical act?
Since the date is so boring, back at the house, Hannah Ann (HA) and Kelsey have a discussion around the definition of bullying and the importance or lack of importance of champagne. The women are over the attention that these two are getting. Kelsey gaslights HA a bit.
You might remember that blonde Victoria is the one whose mom and sister are/were drug addicts. She shares her story with Peter and I'm a little surprised at how much she cries through it. She talks about her dreams of getting the hell away from her family and marry a very rich guy. I'm kidding, she doesn't explicitly say the rich guy part but it's implied. She's potentially willing to make her own money through sponsored Instagram content if her additional income allows her to meet more rich men. Peter shares an inane story of talking to God and seeing a shooting star. My eyes can't roll far enough in my head when in hear this. No shock, Blonde Victoria gets the rose.
Meanwhile back at the house, Alayah, who I never recognize when she doesn't have a ton of makeup on, is getting hammered, which is really entertaining. I know the Bachelor producers were forced into limiting alcohol because of past issues on Paradise, but I do miss it when people would get totally wasted. And really, if the women are there by themselves, can't we lighten up the drinking restrictions a bit? Although, two an hour is still a healthy clip, especially for these women that weigh nothing.
The Women Get a Rude Awakening
Demi is back and rather than bringing two friends we know and recognize, she brings total strangers. She wakes up the women in the house. Apparently Peter is outsourcing all of his date planning and Demi has "planned" this date. Some of the women get lingerie, while others get nightgowns. I'd prefer the nightgown myself but I might just be showing my age. Anyhoo, the women find out they're pillow fighting for the date. Chris Harrison and Fred Willard provide the play-by-play and as I've discussed in the past, I'm startled and concerned by Fred Willard's frailness. He looks 100 years old. At this point he's been on at least once for the past several seasons and somehow I must think he's magically going to stop aging. And yet every time I wonder if this is going to be his last appearance on this show.
Anyway, Alayah wins the competition and the women are all pissed. Sydney in particular gets passive aggressive and catty. Peter ends up calling out Sydney in front of all of the other women and ask her to name names about who is fake. Sydney names Alayah and everyone leaves Sydney to twist in the wind. Alayah tries to do damage control with Peter despite the fact that nobody took Sydney's side. Alayah fakely cries to Peter. Peter of course has no idea who to believe. Peter gives the date rose to Sydney, which surprises me. What cracks me up is that Alayah doesn't deny being fake, she's just pissed that Sydney said anything.
Pool Party with Peter
In a pretty common move when there's a lot of drama and the lead doesn't want to deal with a cocktail party, Chris comes over to tell the gang that Peter wants to see them in their bikinis Peter's coming over for a pool party today. Peter comes in and scolds the women and then pulls Sydney aside and tells her he's glad she ratted out Alayah. She thanks him for thanking her and he's relieved. We see Alayah talking to the women and she said she asked around and nobody said anything to her face and then in turn we see the respective women stab Alayah in the back to Peter. Alayah goes to talk to Peter and fakely tells him how unfake she is.
Peter pulls Blonde Victoria aside and she "grudgingly" unleashes on how fake Alayah is. Peter immediately pulls Alayah aside again and asks her about what Victoria said. She's a terrible actress and Peter seems to see through it but who knows. Peter walks off and Alayah starts crying about whether this means she's just lost both spon cons and an appearance on Paradise. This woman is obviously going to be on Paradise. Chris walks in to scold the women about Peter being upset and sternly tells the women to get ready for the Rose Ceremony. Mykenna makes it about her and is worried that she didn't bring enough drama of her own. Kiara, being a woman of color and someone who legitimately has been on the screen for about two seconds, is rightfully concerned.
Rose Ceremony
As Peter kicks things off, Mykenna has the look of someone that's going to interrupt him mid-ceremony. Or Alayah will "faint". Kelsey gets the first rose handed out, ahead of Hannah Ann. Shiann, who also has had very little screen time other than us seeing her sob before every Rose Ceremony, lives to see another week. Kiarra also lives to see another week. Not to be out drama queened, Peter walks off before handing out his last two roses. Peter and Chris have a whispered conversation and Chris plays the concerned father figure that says so much without saying anything at all. Then Chris comes in to snatch one of the two remaining roses back. The final rose goes to Mykenna. There's something off with Mykenna's makeup. It's not lack of makeup--she clearly wears a ton. Maybe she needs the fake eyelashes? Or she needs a better foundation shade? Alayah and a few other women who we never got to know head home. Oh, the lovely black woman that never wore makeup is going home but honestly I don't know her name and it was clear she wasn't going to last long anyway. Alayah fakely goes out with "class" and blows kisses to the women as she leaves. She claims to not be bitter as she blames Victoria as the reason she's going home. We don't see a happy toast from Peter. Instead Peter leaves to ask his producer if Alayah can stay after all. Which would be awesome. Next week promises Alayah's return as well as an amazingly awkward one-on-one with Brunette Victoria, Peter and the musical act that happens to be Victoria's ex. Can't wait!
Peter pulls Blonde Victoria aside and she "grudgingly" unleashes on how fake Alayah is. Peter immediately pulls Alayah aside again and asks her about what Victoria said. She's a terrible actress and Peter seems to see through it but who knows. Peter walks off and Alayah starts crying about whether this means she's just lost both spon cons and an appearance on Paradise. This woman is obviously going to be on Paradise. Chris walks in to scold the women about Peter being upset and sternly tells the women to get ready for the Rose Ceremony. Mykenna makes it about her and is worried that she didn't bring enough drama of her own. Kiara, being a woman of color and someone who legitimately has been on the screen for about two seconds, is rightfully concerned.
Rose Ceremony
As Peter kicks things off, Mykenna has the look of someone that's going to interrupt him mid-ceremony. Or Alayah will "faint". Kelsey gets the first rose handed out, ahead of Hannah Ann. Shiann, who also has had very little screen time other than us seeing her sob before every Rose Ceremony, lives to see another week. Kiarra also lives to see another week. Not to be out drama queened, Peter walks off before handing out his last two roses. Peter and Chris have a whispered conversation and Chris plays the concerned father figure that says so much without saying anything at all. Then Chris comes in to snatch one of the two remaining roses back. The final rose goes to Mykenna. There's something off with Mykenna's makeup. It's not lack of makeup--she clearly wears a ton. Maybe she needs the fake eyelashes? Or she needs a better foundation shade? Alayah and a few other women who we never got to know head home. Oh, the lovely black woman that never wore makeup is going home but honestly I don't know her name and it was clear she wasn't going to last long anyway. Alayah fakely goes out with "class" and blows kisses to the women as she leaves. She claims to not be bitter as she blames Victoria as the reason she's going home. We don't see a happy toast from Peter. Instead Peter leaves to ask his producer if Alayah can stay after all. Which would be awesome. Next week promises Alayah's return as well as an amazingly awkward one-on-one with Brunette Victoria, Peter and the musical act that happens to be Victoria's ex. Can't wait!
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