Bachelor in Paradise: Week 4, Day 2

BIP's been a bit of a bust, eh?  Maybe it's the cast, maybe it's the shutdown, but things never seemed to gel this season.  I suspect it's the latter more than the former.  In good news, at least we don't have to deal with a Corinne or DeMario interview this week.  Also, the twins arrive to liven things up a bit.

I don't think there are any additions to the intro this week because neither of last week's newcomers made it past the rose ceremony.  They are not worth naming.  There's more crab footage though.  Also, I hope Wells bring his puppets back this week because he was strangely absent in yesterday's episode.

Dom seems to think there's a lot of potential for love but I disagree.  I'm intrigued by Daniel and Lacey so I'd like to see a little more of that, especially because everyone keeps talking about what weirdos they are.  Dom foreshadows things by saying that it would take a lot to shake things up.  Jaimi arrives and gets a date card.  What is Raven's bathing suit?  Wait, Jonathan's divorced?  Jaimi plays for both teams and pulls aside Christen.  The guys are praying that Jaimi asks a woman out because they think that would be totally hot.  Jaimi sees everyone as fair game and decides to ask Diggy to with her on her date.  He enthusiastically says yes and Dom's annoyed.  Still, it's kind of payback for her since Dom went out with Fred right after she went out with Diggy.  

Jaimi and Diggy

Jaimi considers her sexuality fluid rather than labeling herself as bisexual. Spoken like a true Millennial.  And eyes rolled by a true Gen-Xer.  Diggy seems to be charming Jaimi and back at the beach Dom is concerned.

Back at the Beach

D-Lo is thrilled that Kristina is gone and thinks that hers and Dean's relationship can finally move forward.  Sigh.  Lo and behold, in walk the twins.  Haley's interested in Derek and Emily's interested in Dean.  Sorry, D-Lo, it was good while it lasted because we all know that Dean won't be able to resist a twin.  Derek, on the other hand, can hold off Haley.  Chris gives the twins one date card but it's a double-date.  Chris seems to genuinely like the twins, probably because he's disappointed by this season too.  The women seem genuinely excited to see the twins, as well as Dean.  Well, let's be honest, of course all of the guys are happy to see the twins.  

The twins pull Amanda aside to get the lay of the land.  Amanda encourages them to seek out Jonathan and Jack.  The twins do a little bit where they say they don't know what scallops are.  It's very Jessica Simpson-esque.  Ladies, the ditzy blonde schtick is overdone.  Amanda tells Haley that there's no way that Derek will go out with her.  Emily urges Haley to ask him anyway.  Emily isn't swayed by Amanda warning her off of Dean.  Haley decides to change course and ask Jack out.  Jack agrees immediately and tells Haley that Christen gave him her rose but she'll be totally fine with him going out.  Oh dumb serial killer Jack.  Emily pulls Dean aside.  Robby and I are both excited to see how this goes.  Dean gives Emily the lowdown and how he's with D-Lo.  Dean does his nervous giggle thing.  Dean goes on about how going out with Emily would be a disservice to not only D-Lo but Kristina (who is gone because he was a total d-bag).  But again, his lower brain takes over and it's not likely him and D-Lo are committed to each other.  Somehow he musters his will and turns Emily down .  

Amanda suggests that Emily talk to D-Lo and get her permission, which is a terrible idea.  Emily does talk to D-Lo and D-Lo says it's Dean's decision.  Emily pulls Dean aside AGAIN to tell him that D-Lo said it was okay with her if he went out with Emily.  Dean shares his woes of what he's been through.  Our hearts bleed for you, Dean.  Dean turns Emily down AGAIN.  If she'd shown up just a day earlier he totally would have not only gone out with her, who knows where the rest of the night would have taken them.  Next Emily approaches Tickle Fingers and asks him out and he says yes.

Derek tells Taylor that he's falling in love with her and she swoons.  Taylor, all of 23, is happy she's finally getting her happy ending.  Yes, Taylor, you're getting a little long in the tooth so thank goodness.  

As the twins wait for their dates to finish getting ready, Jack is having second thoughts about saying yes to Emily.  Haley, meanwhile, tells Jonathan to not even think about tickling her. Jack can't think for himself so he starts asking other people's opinions on whether he should go out or not.  His friends tell him to just go on the date.  Jack doesn't listen and thinks him and Christen have something real that he wants to pursue.  The twins don't react well to this.  The twins flip everyone off and walk off.  Jonathan's pissed.  Jack pulls Christen aside to win points and the twins start throwing scallops.  Oh twins, not cool.  

Jack Stone feels great about where he is with Christen and sees himself falling in love and marrying her.  Oy, Lord help us all.  D-Lo feels great about where things are with Dean.   I'm not holding my breath on this one.  We know that Robby's a tool and bails on Amanda as soon as he realizes that he doesn't want to be a step dad.  

Chris comes down and I thought he called Robby and Amanda over but it seems he called the whole gang over to tell them that today was their last day in Paradise.  

Next week looks like it might be the best week because it's the finale and the post-finale.  In the credits we're reminded again what idiots the twins are.

There's only so much I can do with this material dear readers!  I'm trying the very best I can.