This week's new additions to the intro are Christen, who is eating shrimp (of course). It's super weird and then she winks at the camera. Sigh. Daniel's intro couldn't be bad if he tried but I liked last year's better.
When we left things just a few minutes ago, we discover that Daniel is the latest addition right before the rose ceremony. Lacey immediately runs over and jumps on him. Daniel is totally right in that Paradise isn't the same without him. He even makes a joke about the border wall. The cocktail party continues. Lacey is convinced she will now fall in love now that Daniel is here. Daniel makes a snide comment about being left with the scraps, which Lacey doesn't appreciate. Lacey catches on that he's making fun of her. Daniel then pulls Christen aside next (who I thought had Jack's rose but maybe he's still giving it to Alexis? Who's getting Ben's rose? Alexis' name is never mentioned and yet she is still here, although that's also because it's been two weeks(?) since the first rose ceremony. Please let Daniel make fun of Christen too. Don't disappoint me, Daniel. Jasmine interrupts Daniel and Christen and I think Jasmine has the best shot at getting this rose. Jasmine doesn't think that Daniel gets her but I think the feeling's mutual. So who knows. Chris comes back again. It's finally rose ceremony time. Jasmine is crying again.
Finally...A Rose Ceremony
We finally have a rose ceremony. Who knows what's going to happen. Jasmine goes on about getting screwed, Lacey is despondent and her self-esteem plummets even lower. D-Lo looks blank as always.
Daniel kicks things off and chooses...Lacey. Huh, didn't see that one coming. Jack chooses Christen. Jasmine can't stop talking about what a little bitch Matt is when in walks...Matt. The women swoon but Jasmine still looks pissed, as she should. But she shouldn't be that pissed because she gets to stay because of him. Derek chooses Taylor (no surprise). Robby chooses Amanda. Robby's title is "Social Media Influencer." Diggy chooses Dominique. It's nice to finally see an African-American couple. Adam is next and he chooses Raven. Raven is so much prettier when she doesn't wear a pound of makeup. D-Lo, having more self-esteem than Kristina, thinks that Dean needs to deal with his Kristina baggage. Kristina says she feels great about where her and Dean are but her face says something else. Dean is next and he chooses Kristina. Ben gives his rose to D-Lo, assuring us ongoing drama. Sarah and Alexis are rose less and need to leave paradise. Kristina is looking forward to starting fresh with Dean. Sigh.
There's a bizarre scene with Dean and Kristina that isn't worth repeating.
The next day begins with screaming on the beach. Crazy Mexican wrestlers are here to wake everyone up and present a date card to Daniel. Lacey has her sights set on Daniel taking her on his date. Daniel crushes Lacey by saying he needs to talk to other women before he can make a decision because he's already spoken to Lacey. Oh Lace. Daniel pulls aside Jasmine next. He's not interested in friends, he wants to get laid. If that's what he's looking for, he probably shouldn't waste his time on Christen. Daniel's interested in Kristina but she says she's with Dean. Kristina please give Dean what he deserves and go out with Daniel. Daniel ends up asking Lacey. She is thrilled.
Tickle Monster is the next arrival to Paradise. I wish I could like TM but he's...annoying. Let's see who he connects with (if anyone). Even Chris tells TM he's creepy. The ladies don't care--they're drooling. They're more fixated on his doctor title than the tickle monster title. Christen doesn't waste any time and her and TM end up kissing. Jack Stone is in psycho killer mode. TM asks Christen if she wants to go out on a date. Jack is hurt.
Daniel and Lacey's date
Based on how Daniel received his date card, the two find out they're wrestling for their date. There aren't too many people in the audience but Jorge is there. Daniel and Lacey win. The whole thing is odd and I've already written too much about it because it's pretty boring.
Back at the House
Dean is acting distant again with Kristina. Kristina is upset. Again. Dean asks Kristina to be patient as he tries to decide who he wants to be with him. Kristina's pissed again even though Dean's been saying this for some time now, so this shouldn't be a surprise. Kristina says she's checking out. It's unclear if that means she's leaving or deciding to keep her options open.
TM and Christen's date
Jack is annoyed that Christen is going out with TM. I'm disappointed that TM is interested in Christen. Jack continues to obsess. It's sad when the women obsess and creepy when the men obsess. Fortunately, Wells has puppets to talk this through with us. Christen is such a phony bitch. Are they feeding each other scallops?
Back at the House
Lacey is on cloud nine even though it doesn't appear that her and Daniel can hold a non-stilted conversation. I think he just wants to make out with someone. As they're making out, Jasmine walks in to pull Daniel aside and have a conversation. Lacey freaks out. It's pretty rude of Daniel to walk away from this conversation rather than tell Jasmine to hold up and ask if they can talk later. But he's Daniel, so what else would you expect?
TM and Christen come back from their date and rather than just join the group like everyone else is, Christen thanks him for a lovely date like he's dropping her off at home. Jack immediately pulls Christen aside to get the lowdown and tries his hardest to not act like a serial killer. Christen talks down the date with Jack. TM doesn't seem worried or threatened at all but does get pissed when Christen and Jack start making out. Jack and Christen deserve each other more than Christen and TM deserve each other. What is the appeal with Christen? TM is pissed but it's unclear if he's pissed at Christen or Jack or both. Move on, TM. I really want to like you.
Dean is back to frolicking in the pool with D-Lo. Kristine still doesn't get it and is (rightly) annoyed that she slept with Dean last night and now he's canoodling with D-Lo. However, this is not surprising based on how the last few weeks have gone. Robby tries to get Kristina away from her watching Dean and D-Lo but because she has no self-esteem she can't stop watching. Ugh, this is painful to watch.
Alas, we'll have to wait to see what happens next because now there's yet another special hour, this time with Corinne.
Special Studio Edition
Wells, Raven, Amanda, and Alexis join Chris and because they are again looking for filler, we see a montage of moments thus far this season. We revisit Wells and Danielle's kiss. Raven talks about choosing bros over hos. Even though Sarah's one of her best friends and liked Adam too, Raven liked Adam too.
Jasmine makes an appearance next to confront Matt. We see a montage and are reminded of Matt and Jasmine's date as well as Wells' puppet recreation. Jasmine claims that Matt never gave her any signs that he wasn't interested in her. Matt clearly has issues with confrontation. It's less awkward than Rachel and Peter's conversation at her finale but what isn't?
The moment we've been waiting for--Corinne. Can someone just say what exactly happened? I can be dense, but I haven't seen anything (through a reliable source) that says what happened. Did they have sex? Was it just a drunk hook up? I'm so confused. Corinne over drank the first day (no judgment there) and claims she was on medication that she wasn't supposed to drink on (sure you were. Lame, just own the over drinking). She gives a PSA on understanding your medications.
Here's where Corinne's story doesn't add up. Does she remember or not? Because if I didn't remember anything, I'd be at the very least wondering how I got into bed and what had happened. She's very vague about the next day and interacting with DeMario and everyone else. She doesn't blame DeMario for whatever he did to her because he would have had no idea she was blacked out at that point. Fine.
They show Corinne another montage of the media's response. Corinne's not impressed with DeMario's tears because she wants the attention on her. Chris doesn't ask her why she said she was a victim.
We sneak peek at the last two weeks. Dean is still stringing Kristina along. Jack Stone is making out with everyone. The twins show up.
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