Hello, dear readers. Now that we have the first week out of the way, we can shift our focus to the good stuff. So far I'm having a hard time liking Arie. But you know what? At least it's not Nick. Also, this is a way to bide our time until Bachelor Winter Games. International Bachelor contestants? Count me in! I knew Claire wouldn't stay away for long. What was I talking about? Oh right, Arie.
We see Arie on his motorcycle while the women pretend to like each other. Chris shows up and tells the women that Arie's on his way for the first date. Chris leaves behind the first date card. Becca K. gets the first date card. The women come out to see them off, which is a little weird. Becca and Arie ride off for their first date.
Becca K's Date
Back at the house, Chelsea, someone whose name I don't remember, and Lacey talk about how excited it would have been to be on the date and Lacey is the buzz kill that talks about how dangerous motorcycles are.
Becca and Arie drive up to a random house and inside is a spread with my least favorite food--seafood. But then Rachel Zoe shows up. Clearly Arie's going to have Becca model for him, which is creepy. Rachel is in a dress that my 5 YO would be drooling over. Becca gets to try on different dresses for their date tonight. I think my 5 YO would love all of Rachel's collection. But she doesn't have to pick just one dress--she gets to keep them all. And then she gets a pair of Louboutins. Ok, apart from having to model for Arie, this is a pretty cool date. And Arie is opening the second bottle of champagne already. They talk about how beautiful each other's eyes are. Which is odd because Arie's eyes are so small and beady, how can you see what color his eyes are?
Up walks a man with a briefcase and he says it's from Neil Lane. Inside the briefcase are diamonds, diamonds and more diamonds. Becca's thrilled and they make out for awhile. Becca arrives home while the rest of the women are sitting around drinking. They freak out when they see Becca and all of her stuff. Better lock that stuff up, Becca.
The nighttime part of the date arrives and Becca shows up in her dress. She doesn't appear to be wearing any of the bling. Oh wait, I guess Arie had it. Arie mentions his gray hair again and tells Becca he's happy to share his experiences from the first time on the show, which I find a little odd. Arie's telling Becca how happy he was when she came out of the car and she got the first date but I'd like to point out that she didn't get the First Impression rose. We'll see if he gives all the women the same lines. I do like Becca more than a lot of the women so far but there's still lots of time.
Back at the house, the women talk about who kissed him and whether he really has pillow lips, which we know now from multiple women that he does. Another date card arrives and it's another one-on-one, this time with Krystal. Previews suggest that Krystal's claws come out later in the season so I'm curious to see how this goes. The vibe in the room isn't great.
Back at the date, Becca talks about her past relationships and the most significant one which was on and off for seven years. I wonder if the guy that shows up at the end to steal Becca back is the guy she refers to here. No surprise, Becca gets the rose. Becca gets to keep the earrings. If nothing else, Becca gets a lot of sweet swag to take home.
Krystal's Date
The women pretend to be happy for Krystal on her date. They're secretly worried that he's going to take her home to meet the family already. Krystal is giddy. They're going to Scottsdale, which is apparently where he lives. Of course, they're going in a private plane. Arie gives her the exact same lines he gave Becca about how she made such an impression on her. Krystal is of course already planning their wedding. They end up at Arie's high school so he can relive his glory days. Then they go to his actual house where they look at photo albums and watch home videos. It's as weird as it sounds. It sounds like Krystal's dad left early so she potentially has daddy issues.
Next they end up at his parents' house, which is of course a mansion. He has a lot of brothers and sisters. No, wait. Wasn't he holding a baby named Meike in one of the videos? Is Meike a boy? I thought it was his little sister. Wait, Meike is his mom? I'm so confused. His mom is pretty plastic looking (sorry, bitchy, I know). His brother looks 12 and just got married. Krystal mentions her family issues again in the interview. As they leave his parents' place, Arie says that his mom loved her, which I couldn't tell because her face didn't move at all. Krystal's concerned about what he'll think about her hot mess of a family.
Back at the house, the group date card arrives. Fifteen girls are on the date card.
Back at the date, Krystal and Arie are back in LA. Arie tells Krystal that he wants to know more about her. Krystal says that she didn't feel like her parents loved her. Oh boy. She's either full of it or is very damaged. She took care of her little brother and now he's a drug addict. Arie assures her that her difficult upbringing doesn't "reflect negatively on her". Wow, that's reassuring. Arie assures her that he's still interested in her and she's clearly relieved. Krystal's story might be sad but I don't believe she's sincere or genuine at all. However, I don't really care because if it makes the season more interesting, then I'm for it. I like her as a villain more than Chelsea. She obviously gets the rose. They transition to the random musical act of the date. As usual, I have no idea who this singer is, but he doesn't seem to be a country singer as they generally have.
Group Date
The next morning the women ask Krystal about the date. She doesn't share a lot of info, which pisses the women off. The women head off on the group date and they're all in their sports bras and short shorts. Chelsea plots. Arie makes a grand entrance and they're going to do demolition derby. Presumably in automatics (rather than manuals) which is totally lame. The women get to design their own cars and seem pretty psyched. Annaliese is the first one to start crying and they haven't even started yet. Bahahahaha she's having flashbacks to a bumper car incident. The producers even do a mini-reenactment. Oh that's priceless. I love it when they have fun at the expense of these people. Jenny laughs at her bumper car trauma.
Arie finds her crying and asks her if she's not comfortable driving. Annaliese shares her bumper car trauma story with Arie. Like the rest, he doesn't really know what to say. Jenny's annoyed and can't wait to ram Annaliese. This is going to be awesome.
Chris Harrison is doing the play by play with some random driver and Chris gets some digs in at Arie. Chelsea is overly serious but most of the women aren't taking themselves too seriously. Annaliese is still crying. With all of those cars there isn't lot of room in the ring(?). Apparently Annaliese is totally into it once the action starts. Bibiana doesn't understand that she's supposed to go backwards, not forward. Brittany was taking one girl out after another. The montage is pretty good as Bachelor montages go. Seine and Tia are the two left standing and ultimately Seinne is the winner.
Brittany wasn't feeling good so she doesn't make the next round of the date. I don't remember what Brittany looks like but the rest of the women fake disappointment that she's not there. Chelsea, no surprise, steals him away first. Chelsea's ready to share why she's so mysterious. She tells him that she has a son. Arie pretends to be okay with this. Apparently before Emily he lived with a woman that had two kids. Needless to say that didn't work out. Arie pretends to understand what it's like to be a single mom. Chelsea is relieved and feels good about getting the rose tonight.
The women are complaining about Chelsea and she walks in on them. She calls them out on it and tells them why she stole him away. The women aren't impressed by her "I gave up so much to be here" act and say they gave up a lot too. I can't believe I'm typing this, but I'm siding with Chelsea on this. She's playing the single mom act hard, but leaving your kid behind is bigger than anything else these childless women have left behind. But someone without kids wouldn't get that. Ugh, I hate that I even typed that entire paragraph. Let's move on.
Next Arie hangs out with Seinne. Seinne implies that she went to Yale because she lived in Connecticut, like it's a state school. Arie may or may not have gone to college. Bibiana is starting to melt down. She tells the cameraman to leave her alone. Arie continues to make out with various women. Bekah M. finally gets her chance and rams her tongue down Arie's throat.
It's time to give out the rose and Bibiana may or may not be on the couch. Arie calls out Chelsea for sharing her story and she gets smug but then he calls out Seinne for being so special and gives her the rose. Ouch. Chelsea is pissed. Arie tells the women what a great time he had and it's super awkward, though he doesn't really seem to notice.
Cocktail Party
Four women didn't get a date at all this week but most of the women are freaking out. Krystal looks like the cat that swallowed the canary. One of the random blondes tries to pull Arie aside but to Arie's credit, he pulls Brittany aside first to make sure she's feeling better. Arie gives her a "most hardcore" certificate. Bekah M. pulls him aside next. She has her fake(? it doesn't look real) fur. He's into Bekah M. and they make out more.
Bibiana's freaking out and even though Krystal already has a rose she pounces and interrupts him talking to one of the Laurens. The other women are livid. She's walking around as smug as can be. Bibiana finally gets a few minutes with him. While he's talking to Bibiana, Krystal comes back again. Krystal does her fake doe-eyed act. Krystal comes back and Bibiana calls her and her fake tone out.
Rose Ceremony
It's rose ceremony time. Arie and Chris have an awkward conversation. Arie comes back out to give his speech and talks about how tough it is to let some women go. The women are all freaking out. It's down to the final rose and it goes to Bibiana. The women who didn't get the rose look stunned. Jenny is the most pissed and is the last to leave and doesn't say goodbye to Arie. Arie runs after her. She seems more disappointed about leaving her friends than leaving Arie and claims this is the first time she's ever gotten dumped. Well.
The woman who collects taxidermy (NOT a taxidermist, just a collector), seems to have brought her whole collection and shows him a bat and an otter. Arie shares that he was a friend that collects DOLL PARTS. Better check that friend's freezer.
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